not now honey daddy's unleashing his beam attack

Reading wayhaven just isn't enough. I need to actually jump in the book and become mc.

fuck it we ball *turns off my work alarm and goes back to sleep*

If your nose is currently unblocked and not runny, take a moment to appreciate it. Wow look at you breathing in with both nostrils and not having to blow your nose every two minutes! You must be so proud of yourself! I’m proud of you too bud, have fun with your clear nose, you deserve it.

I’ve had enough of society being catered to morning people.. it’s time for everything to be pushed back like two hours

there's nothing more swagless to me than people who try to make vampires less horny. where's your fucking honor. "a vampire wouldn't care about being sexy while drinking your blood because they don't need to you're just a food source to them" WELL MAYBE THEY WANT TO. MAYBE SOME OF US ARE HOT ENOUGH THAT THEY'D BE WILLING TO TRY. EVER THINK ABOUT THAT HUH.

see? black cat bring good luck, not bad luck!

love removing songs from playlists like mmmmmmmmm actually not you lol

being the squidward of gay people is like when youre making hummus wraps and fancy coffees and taking long baths where you sit there and read a magazine but all your gay friends just want to watch anime

i know what he went through