Father’s and children, come to me. Mother’s Day, not arguably the most important holiday of the year, is approaching. It has been brought to my attention that the dads and children need my help. Don’t let your wife or mom cancel this holiday because she knows you will fail her. I’m giving you these awesome ideas for FREE, next time there will be a fee involved. 

Mom gives you everything all year round, the chauffeuring, the cooking, the scheduling - give her one day! Gifts and ideas inside!

1. A Well Thought Out Day Dedicated to Mom Curated by Dad - Plan the whole day, send her on an adventure. Leave no detail unturned. First, allow the kids to do their due diligence early to get it out of the way. Send her to an early brunch and the spa by day then take her on a hot date to her favorite restaurant by night. Pick out her clothes and closely slow dance the night away. Let the heat bring you closer. It has to be an entire day full of surprises if you take this route. Write little notes and leave them at each spot. Romance her! Woo her!

2. Alex and Ani - It took me a while to actually like these cute little bracelets and other jewelry. I’m not big on the hot new trends but when they come from kids or dad they mean a lot. Put a lot of thought into it. Don’t settle for the one that says “Mom”. Have some depth. Try the numerology or wrap bracelets. Explain the meaning and why you feel it applies to her. My favorite is below. 

3. Send a Gift & Call Your Mother-In-Law - Nothing says you love someone more than loving their mama. Send a memento and make that call. Tell her you appreciate her for raising the woman of your dreams, the mother of your children, the keep of the household, the best cook you know! You shall not be on the couch anytime in the near future if you do this. 

4. Fresh Florals - Not just any florals, bangin’ fresh florals though. Save the funeral bouquets for “just because”. It’s Mother’s Day. I refer you to the book of Kanye West and the FLORAL WALL he gifted Kim Kardashian. If you build it, she will appreciate it. If you can’t afford such a thing, spend a couple extra bucks to make the traditional bouquet bigger. Partner, let me help you upgrade her. 

Disclaimer: Most florists have a policy that the flowers will last at least SEVEN days. If they don’t, get them on the phone and get mom a new wall. 

5. Love Language Gift - What is mom’s love language? Mine are words of affirmation and physical touch. A book like the one below would be amazing. If you don’t know your wife’s love language - hang your head in shame then click here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/. You’re welcome! 

6. Dedicate Yourself To The Home - Let mom kick her feet up while you, DAD and the children, take on everything she does. What does this mean? You all will: cook all three meals, clean the house from top to bottom, take care of the baby, drop the oldest off to dance or soccer practice, spray paint the ballet shoes so they match everyone else, listen to the teenager talk about her girl drama, provide snacks and beverages and don’t you dare let her cup get to the last drop. Take her order, ensure her robe and slippers are on (if she doesn’t have any, buy them!) and avail yourselves ALL DAY! 

Bonus: Give her a bell so she can ring for you when needed. 

7. L is for Leather - Fresh leather is always a good choice. I love the Anthony Neil Brand. Clutches, tassels, and more all handmade in Detroit by entrepreneur C'erra E. Every mom needs a leather clutch and every mom loves to support other moms. Mompreneurs unite! 

8. Photo Collage/Montage - Combine some of your favorite photos and put them on a reel to mom’s favorite music. At the end let dad and each child say some words of why they love and appreciate mom. The tears of joy shall flow! 

9. Wine Tasting - Raise your hand if your mom loves wine? Wine is the universal bond that every mother can appreciate. Wine listens. Wine understands. Wine never fails. Find a winery, maybe near, maybe far, and get her there. Cheese and charcuterie must also be involved. 

10. This isn’t a gift or an idea but just a point I need to make. Moms around the world work hard to keep their families intact. We are the caretakers, the nurses, the teachers, the therapists, the coaches, and everything all wrapped into one. I’m not saying that you should grovel at our feet (maybe I am), but an attitude of gratitude goes a long way coming from the people you love. We do our best to make the right choices. Everyone wants to know that their efforts are appreciated. Before you go making the claim that women shouldn’t want credit for taking care of their responsibilities, stop and think of all the times you hurt your mom or did something to go against her wishes and she graciously cleaned up your mess. That alone warrants some sort of special treatment, acknowledgment, respect and love. 

If you don’t celebrate your mom or wife, I’m not sure why you’re reading this. 

To all the anti “hallmark” holiday, fake woke people, read up on the history of mother’s day here http://www.history.com/topics/holidays/mothers-day and SHAT UP! Let people enjoy things. 

May the flames of love and appreciation be ever in your favor!

xoxo, 

No matter what your situation is, single, married, complicated, etc. if children are involved, stress is absolutely bound to come. I have two, one is 12 and the other is 1, so imagine my life right now. Unfortunately, I’m not a magical unicorn who has it all together, although I know it can appear that way at times. Everybody needs a release. Here are some ways I cope with the stress.

Prayer/Meditation

I am a Christian woman and I find it extremely helpful to pray and meditate often. I never realized how necessary it was until I had baby #2. I learned to make time for it. I schedule my prayer time and I meditate every day. When I don’t, other things suffer. Making time to tap into that divine energy helps me remain grateful and appreciative for my life, albeit chaotic and crazy, it’s a blessing.

Find A Hobby

Before you had children, you enjoyed the “funner” things in life. What did you enjoy in high school? I played sports, I was in the band, I loved a good crafting session and I loved to paint. As a 27+-year-old, I’ve rediscovered some of those hobbies. There are plenty of adult sports leagues, so join one, even if you’re not good, it’s still fun. Delve into the world of mom’s groups, they cover a wide array of hobbies and it’s always a positive thing to make mom-friends who can relate to your struggles.

Establish A Bedtime

I am the worst when it comes to this, but I’ve seen the mountaintop of children going to bed at a decent hour and I shall not give up. Not only is it important for your kids to get enough rest so they can terrorize you the next day, kidding (not really), once they go to bed, quiet hours have begun. You can get some work done, binge watch your favorite tv shows or just sit on the couch in silence without someone climbing all over you or asking you to record their 40thmusical.ly video of the evening.

Enjoy A Glass of Wine

A glass, not a bottle. Very relaxing. Wine always understands. Wine never disappoints. Wine is always there. Wine cares. Wine wins.

  Start a Group Text Chat With Mom Friends

This is one of my favorite pastimes. When I’m feeling stressed about anything, I can hit up the group chat. Having someone who can relate to my stress has become a serious form of therapy. Talk to your gal pals and let the relief come.

  Make A Bomb Playlist

I had a lot of odd jobs and random hobbies in my wild days. My mad existence afforded me some DJ skills. When I have time I love to mix, which isn’t often, I make playlists. I schedule a time for nobody to be home and I just dance. Fun fact: I have no rhythm and can’t twerk to save my soul, but when I hear some good 90s R&B like After 7, Mary J. Blige, Brandy, etc. I dance, dance, dance my troubles away. If you need a playlist, let me know!

Me Time

Reject the slander that your life is over when you have children. You are not a robot, your life is not over. Self-care is the best care. Your sanity is important. Take yourself to dinner, go to a movie, go for a walk, go canoeing, go to the spa, make an area of your house off limits, GO TO PUERTO RICO, I don’t care what you do. Find some peace and enjoy it on purpose. It’s okay, the chaos will still be there when you get back.

1. Let’s start with President Twitter Fingers. I’m still confused about how IN THE WORLD he’s actually in this position. But then I look at our good old American values and I’m magically not surprised anymore. I’m so damn tired of seeing his orange face on the news. I have truly been limiting my intake and he is the main reason why. Will he make it to four years? 

2. Beyonce - I love her. I think she’s an amazingly talented artist and entertainer. If it ain’t dumb articles like this from the New York Post, it’s the Bitter Ex Community Club rambling on about how they don’t date women who are fans of Beyonce...

Beyonce is the not the problem in your relationships, people. Maybe your ex-bae didn’t want to deal with the 10 gallons of crazy you were trying to squeeze in a one-gallon bucket. Don’t get me started on the YouTube conspiracy theorist. The way this world is going, folks should be glad that some of us can actually enjoy some entertainment. Let people enjoy things without casting your shadeful (shadeful is now a word) judgment. This woman is pregnant with twins and gave a fire performance that your favorite artist could NEVER. 

3. I’ve been readin’, I’ve been readin’...goal for 2017 was to always be reading something. Thus far the list includes, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (read it every year), You Are Badass by Jen Sincero, Milk & Honey by Rupi Kaur, Every Little Step: My Story by Bobby Brown, and currently reading Words From A Wanderer by Alexandra Elle.

4. I am a complete sucker for the monthly subscription boxes. I had one for everything, clothes, kids, period (yes, LOLA, check it out), wine, beauty products, clothing - you name it. I decided to get rid of them for 2017. In an effort to get out of debt, it would probably be helpful to free some of the resources for more important things. Adult problems.  

5. Big Sean’s gives advice that can apply to anyone on his new album, I Decided 

·        Counting money never feels as good as counting blessings. (The Light)

·        Chemistry means way more than anatomy. (Halfway Off The Balcony)

·        Stick to the plan. Stay focused. Pay attention to who you’re getting close with. Distance yourself from negative energy. (Voices In My Head/Stick To The Plan)

·        Make sure all your interactions end with actions (Voices In My Head/Stick To The Plan)

·        I cut the fuck shit drama out my energy, focused on the inner me, never on the enemy. (Sacrifices)

6. Television/Movies that I’ve enjoyed thus far: The New Edition Story, Get Out, Logan, All of TGIT, Jane The Virgin, Shameless, The Affair (riveting), THIS IS US! 

7. The Detroit Promise has emerged and our children have a future. Any kid who completes all four high school years at Detroit public school with a 3,0 GPA and a 21 on the ACT will receive four years of college paid for. This is huge for Detroit who recently filed for bankruptcy. The school system needs quite a bit of improvement and I see this committment to the future being a positve step.

xoxo, 

Alright y’all, it’s that time of year for my FAVORITE THINGS! Some are recommendations and others are requests. Take notes, hopefully, next year some of these won’t be repeats. LOL! 

1. Coming in at #1 for the FOURTH year in a row, because nobody wants to buy it for me, is the Towel Warmer from Brookstone. Do the right thing, guys!

2. The Converse Nude Collection because every woman needs a good neutral sneaker and Chucks are essential to any wardrobe. Plus, they are just so chic and classy. Whew! Paired with one of my fresh denim shirts. Watch out na!

3. The Original Pasta Pot - because being burned by scalding hot water is nobody’s idea of fun. 

4. The Lip Bar Liquid Matte - I love a good matte. My colors of choice are “Bawse Lady” and “Man Eater”. Thank me later. 

5. I have a touch of anxiety that gets real sometimes. Adult coloring books help me get it together in those instances. Check out this one!

6. Let’s face it, we all forget things sometimes. I use my Shinola Notebook to remember important things to do, ideas, random thoughts, church notes, etc.

7. Corkcicle Air from Crate & Barrel because nobody ever enjoyed warm Chardonnay. 

8. To commemorate the history made by the Cleveland Cavaliers when they came back from a 3-1 deficit to win the NBA Championship, I’ll need this sweater. Size: Medium. #DefendTheLand

9. Also making a repeated appearance, the Tiffany T bracelet. This list would be a waste without a little bling, bling! 

10. Last, but certainly not least, this lovely nail polish holder. Some of us still polish our own nails. 

That’s it until next year. Noel, y’all! 

xoxo, 

I’ve been struggling to find the words to say about everything that’s going on in the world around and honestly, I’ve tried to ignore it. I usually try to avoid the news altogether. I don’t know if I’m alone in this feeling, but when news of #AltonSterling broke, I turned the TV off and scrolled past people talking about it. Why? Because I am numb to the bad news from this trigger-happy, shooting, killing culture that we live in. I don’t want to feel it. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to be depressed about strangers being killed, losing their lives like it’s nothing. I don’t want to think about how their kids will go to sleep at night knowing their father or brother or husband will not be a part of their lives any longer because some police officer is not considering the same. Where are our values? Do they exist? 

Then, the very next day, the news of #PhilandoCastile broke, and that was it. I couldn’t ignore it. I stood in my bathroom and watched the 20+ minute video of a woman I didn’t know sitting next to her dying fiance with a police officer still pointing his freshly fired gun into the car. Then I realized this woman’s child was in the car. He. Fired. A. Gun. Into. A. Car. With. A. Child. In. The. Back. Seat. The police then guided her out of her vehicle told her to get on her knees...as if she was a criminal. Procedure or not, I DON’T GIVE A HELL. I’m watching and I’m calm. Fast forward, they’re now in the polive car and the little girl says “It’s ok mommy, don’t cry, I’m here with you...” and that’s when I lost it.  Lost it as in slumped over bathroom sink weeping for my people. Why does this little girl have to be this strong in this moment? I felt it for the first time in quite a well. I felt it like it was me. Like it was Brian in the car and Jade or Ryan in the back seat.

I had to face to the harsh reality that this could happen anywhere. It could be me, my friends, my family...anybody and it often feels like there’s NOTHING we can do about it. People are slaughtered and we remain helpless. Everyone was all militant in the days following and now it’s back to regularly scheduled programming. I know we all want to be all extra woke and deep, but really...what is the actionable solution? Who has the answers? Are we protesting? We see what happened there... Are we going to feel safe with law enforcement? We see how that turns out... 

At this point in time, #BlackLivesMatter is just hashtag people use when someone is killed. Who believes it? Do we even believe it? Are we going to continue to act like we’re going to force ourselves into mattering? Now, I’m a Christian, and I have faith, but faith without work is D-E-A-D. What is our work? When does it really begin?  

Tweets like this: 

He is a donald dumb ass trump staffer.

Facebook posts like this:

She’s a teacher at University Prep right here in DETROIT! 

Food For Thought: In Europe they have 3 years of police training before hitting the streets. That time is spent learning how to de-escalate conflicts, among other things. The US spends less than 5 months on average training police. Where they are trained to shoot & kill. They are taught, and then licensed, to execute. More here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0f_nFKVoyQ

My biggest thing is that I have to explain this to my kids. I have to sit down far too often with my 12 year-old and explain to her why people are dead. It often feels like the world is burning. I’m angry. It could easily be Jade who’s posting a picture of Curtis while she’s in mourning. It could’ve been Brian in the car. It could’ve been Nathan selling cigarettes. It could’ve been Ryan in the botched drug raid. It could’ve been Casey or Sydni or Alaina getting pulled over for failure to signal. It could’ve been Raphael walking with his hoodie on. 

Some of you reading this may not know who these people are but they are my family and friend’s names who I hope don’t become a hashtag synonymous with #BlackLivesMatter. 

I pray for a solution. Lord, help us all who genuinely want peace and place to raise our children here in America THE UGLY. 

1. Leave the country. 

2. Do HandleBar Detroit with some friends. 

3. Get married. 

4. Enjoy some lituations in Chicago. 

5. Lose 30-50 pounds. 

6. Iron out some career goals. 

7. Parlay at the Essence Fest.

8. Buy a Jeep Wrangler. 

9. Go to Disney World.

10. Learn the basics of French. 

11. Go glamping! 

12. Write a mother/daughter devotional. 

13. Buy a house. 

14. Volunteer at least 3 times per month.

16. Write a children’s book. 

17. Take a pottery class. 

18. Take an all girls trip to a cool destination.

19. Be more diligent about cleaning (seriously). 

20. Learn how to line my lips and contour my face.

21. Get to 5,000+ points on #SnapChat. 

22. Go on a cruise. 

23. Get back to beasting on the basketball court. 

24. See Hamilton the musical. 

25. Take adult dance classes. 

26. Take some cooking courses. 

27. Run through the 6 with woes. 

28. Buy a dope camera. 

29. Be a better friend.

This week's keyword is #FORGIVENESS. Learn to forgive in your heart and be big enough to ask for forgiveness.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” 

This week’s keyword is sponsored by this weekend’s yoga class.

Early Saturday morning, after not being able to sleep very well on Friday night, looking over all the work that is coming my way, dealing with my newborn child who’s ALWAYS hungry, house in utter disarray, I dragged myself to yoga. The instructor told us to meditate on one word that we wanted to bring into our lives. The word PEACE immediately came to my mind. Peace over my mind, my home and my relationships. I can’t even express how much that helped me. I have come entirely too far to be discouraged, I just have to learn to find more balance, minimize distractions, ignore petty drama and keep my eyes on the prize(s). 

My week’s wish for you all is also peace. Peace in every circumstance. Invite it into your life, welcome it, embrace it and nurture it!

xoxo,

Almost all of you know that I recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Ryan Autumn. What most don’t know is the story behind her arrival. This is very personal for me but I am finally ready to talk about it. I am sharing to encourage those families who may be going through the same thing, you never know what can happen during pregnancy. Grab a tissue...