Honestly, in general I tend to see 'fetishes/kinks' less as this weird kind of "biological or traumagenic attraction towards deviant sexual activity" and more as like. Interests, that one can explore sexually.
Like, mmm. You like horror movies, you enjoy them by being scared by them. You like mystery books, you enjoy them by poring over them in thought and intrigue. If it was real, you'd like rock-climbing, and you'd go out and enjoy the adrenaline rush and thrill and exercise if it. I like s/m, I go out and bite people until they cry and get a little turned on by it. Arousal is just an emotion like any other.
How would you feel if I said that your interest in roguelites was probably because of a conditioned exposure to gambling at a young age? If I tried to break down your interest in superhero movies into a kind of biological predilection towards colorful figures? If I tried to imply that every time you talked about liking the aesthetics of brutalist buildings it's because of your inappropriate fascination with star wars?
But, I think most of y'all are past that. You recognize that kink is normal, and you try your best not to medicalize it. Maybe you don't understand all of it, but you at least have some of your own kinks, and you can sympathize through them.
And, from this group, what really annoys me is this discourse on "person with fetish" vs "person without fetish". There's this idea that having or not having a kink denote immutable categories. You require ritual disavowal to move between them, and you act like collecting kinks means something more than just "likes trying new things". Further, you act like people are 'posers' for trying to express interest in a kink that they clearly don't have. Please, having a kink isn't material, it's just something you like.
I don't think there is a difference between 'espousing an interest in a kink' and 'having that kink'. I don't think these groups are real, I think they're made up. I think you all could stand to explore eroticism a little further, yes. But like, all problems with "person talks like they have [X kink] then does shitty things about [X kink] or disavows their interest in it" are the result of sex negativity, unlearned biases, or other problems. It's not a problem of biology.