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“Okay, don’t be mad.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow at Buck, who’s leaning against the door of their locker room, fingers twisted in front of him nervously. It’s after shift, and Eddie had pretended not to notice Buck lingering after everyone else had left, eyes soft and intent as Eddie got changed. It’s not unfamiliar, but there’s a new, strange hesitancy to it that leaves Eddie aching nonetheless.

He covers it up with a smile, shrugging on his jacket. “What, Buck? Gonna force me into another club?”

Buck snorts. “Yeah, no. Ravi told me he’d never seen anyone look that terrified of strobe lighting.”

Unfair and mean, but okay.

“Then what is it?”

Buck rubs the back of his head, fingers fluffing the curls that kiss the lobes of his ear. Eddie’s fingers twitch. He ignores it. “Just-- come with me.”

Always, Eddie does not say out loud. Instead, he heaves his duffle over his shoulder and steps towards Buck, not bothering to tell him the obvious, that he would follow him wherever he went.

Wherever turns out to mean the parking lot of the station, towards Buck’s new Toyota. It’s still a little discomfiting to look at, the sleek curves of it not quite fitting with the Buck he’s known for so long. It’d been a surprise, when he first drove up to the station in it. Chimney had ribbed him, asked if Maddie knew that he’d traded in her gift, and Buck had rolled his eyes and told him to shut it. 

Eddie, stinging over yet another thing that Buck hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him about, had stayed silent.

Buck opens the passenger seat for him, and Eddie slides in. It’s something that’s common enough between them, but everything felt like it had meaning now, weighty in a way that Eddie didn’t want to look at directly. Eddie wonders if Buck had done this to the dates he’d met at the club. He tucks the thought away.

Buck adjusts the mirror, slings a hand over the back of Eddie’s seat as he looks behind him. It’s unnecessary, dramatic, but still too charming for his own good. Eddie does not look at Buck’s arms, and does not feel every inch of the smaller space between them in the interior of the Toyota.

They drive to Buck’s new house, which is nice and, according to Christopher and Chimney and Ravi, has a hot tub. Eddie hasn’t been yet. Buck hadn’t invited him, after all, except for when he did and Eddie sort of snapped at him. It’s fine, probably.

He is now, apparently, sliding into the driveway and opening Eddie’s door with practiced ease. Turning the engine off. Eddie gets out of the car before Buck can open the door for him again. He doesn’t need Buck’s help.

Buck frowns a little. Eddie looks at him expectantly. Buck exhales, shoulders braced, and gestures Eddie towards the garage.

When he opens the doors, Eddie blinks, doesn’t understand what he’s looking at for a moment.

Then-- “Is that the Jeep?”

Buck’s hands are twisted together again, his face shadowed slightly in the doorway of the garage. “Uh, kind of?”

“Kind of?”

“It’s--” a breath. An exhale. “I…made some changes. To it.”

“Okay-” Eddie starts to say, but Buck steamrolls over him, stumbling to the side of the car to open the door.

“So, uh, I added a turn signal extension here, and uh, changed the gear shift so that it’s a selector instead, and, uh, I wasn’t sure if Chris would prefer a pedal extender or a complete hand control, so I haven’t put those in, but I looked up tutorials already so I can do either, and--”

“Chris?”

Eddie almost doesn’t recognize the sound of his own voice as it slips out, sharp and with an emotion in it that he doesn’t know how to name. Buck startles, almost jumps in place, and doesn’t quite look at him as he bites his lip.

“Well, yeah-” he shrugs a shoulder. “I mean, it’s a bit early, but he’s turning fifteen, so he might want to get his license next year, and I did some research and figured it’s better to get some of the bigger mods out of the way so he doesn’t have to worry too much when he’s training -- obviously he’ll have to get everything checked out, but I tried to think of most of the ones that he might need--”

“Wait-” Eddie steps forward, and are his knees wobbling? He feels slightly faint. “You- you did all of this. For Chris. On your Jeep?”

Buck glances at him, then away. “I mean, I was looking at a list of cars that were good for CP, and they said that a Jeep was a pretty good model, and I figured--” he cuts himself off. Pauses. Restarts. “If it’s too much, it’s fine. I- I just wanted him to have an option, you know?”

“You did this for Christopher,” Eddie repeats. "Buck. That's-- that's Maddie's jeep."

He feels something in his chest balloon, stretched thin and dangerously close to release. He feels like he’s twenty-six, watching his new coworker introduce him to a health aid, fixing everything in his life without even blinking. He feels like he’s in a hospital bed, talking to his son on camera and knowing that his best friend has kept him safe when Eddie couldn't. He feels like -- he feels like he’s not alone, and he doesn't know, has never known what to do with the force of it.

“I know,” Buck is saying, looking at him soft and sweet, the light coming through the door to lie like diamond-dust on his hair and skin, making him the brightest thing in the shadowed room. “I've always- I thought it would be nice. To pass it down. It felt right. You know that I would do anything for that kid.”

“I know,” Eddie says, bowled over. He blinks once, hard. Swallows the balloon in his throat. Forces his legs steady so he can walk over. “Show me what you’ve done.”