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As I walk this earth alone, as I have been walking

I mean truly and utterly alone, no mom, no sister, no friend, no brother, not a simple person to talk to.

I see why it is people settle, why they allow disrespect, why they put up with unfair treatment.

Because it’s a danger to be alone, some days you get so lonely you feel you might simultaneously combust

You will always have a special place in my heart, I’ll never forget watching it for the first time

Best manga I’ve read.

The slow burn was executed well, in my opinion, I’ve seen ppl complain about it but I was realistic and not fast but not extremely slow to the point where you feel like dropping.

The thing I liked most was yoon’s attitude. Eeevveryone seems to complain about it and she just didn’t care. And he liked her anyways. I think a lot of times we see FL be bubbly or easily dominated, or meek but she wasn’t. I love her stubborn hardheaded self.

Now it’s over and my heart is broken because I know I’ll never find anything like it.

I hope you’re all doing well. 🌿

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@aboodfmly

April 22

I use to write a lot

I don’t anymore, maybe I should

Writing to me now, is sore, it makes me tired. Tired because I never really get anywhere, it doesn’t go anywhere, it’s all just inward. It reverts back to me

Writing is an ache to me now, reaching out and never getting even the wind to blow past your hand. It’s just nothingness. An ache that has nowhere to go.

I keep thinking about my mother. She sits on the top of my head. I ask her the same things over and over again and I never get an answer because she never really ever speaks to me. She just sits there, on my brain, with no face and no hood explanation as to why it had to be like this.

I’m getting older and all I must do is bite so hard against my own teeth. Everyone’s finding love and creating families or even making stupid wrong decisions. And all I can think about is who I am.

Yes! Call it self pity, call it lazy and unprogressive but I can’t get over it.

My adoptive mother is getting old, she’s declining slowly. And other people might look to her with pity and sympathy but all I can look at her with is hate, is that wrong to say?

I wonder what joy you get out of lying to someone for so long. What joy you get out of deception.

I wonder how much hate you must have to lie to someone for so long and smile as if nothing is wrong.

Everyone deceived me, everyone who ever knew me, friends of family, family itself, regular people and now I must pretend like nothing is wrong.

My faith in peoples words are forever shaken. I now question everything about everyone and even myself.

I trust no one. No one at all. How did strangers have more right to my life then I did about myself?

I don’t care about looks, I have no need for it

I’m so very mad at her for giving me away, this feeling is deadly, I want to be gone just to be rid of it.

I never fit in my adopted family, all I ever was was lonely. No matter where I was, who I stood around, I was lonely. I was lonely in my head and no matter how hard I cried, it never went away. I was always alone. No one EVER liked me.

It’s so alienating. It’s so odd, people will talk about being lonely but they have people the seem to love them. I was only ever tolerated. Why did she leave me here. Why would she do this to me.

Timebomb⏳

I wouldn’t go as far to say I’ll never ship these two together but I will say I just don’t care for them as a ship.

Sure, I get it, childhood friends to enemies, what a touching compelling story. But

I just always wonder why no one hold jinx accountable for murdering Ekko’s friends…..

You’ll get hit with all her issues and her bpd, as if we can’t argue that all these characters in Arcane have some sort of mental issue. Jinx isn’t the ONLY one with struggles.

Why does everyone write off the fact that jinx KILLED Ekko’s friends? Members of his formed family.

Everyone shrugs and says “they got in the way” but can’t the same thing be said for jinx and VI’s parents?? They “got in the enforcers way”?

The firelights (in my opinion) we’re the only ones with the right idea. They built a safe haven free from whatever was going on in Zaun, and tried to dismantle Silco’s corrupt system, while keeping distance from Piltover.

Yet his people died for it for what? Because Silco’s evil ass wanted him gone? And Jinx was the hit dog to do it.

I think it’s SO STRANGE how Vi is expected to hold Caitlyn accountable and the Zaunites can hate the Piltover citizens but Ekko shows restraint and distrust to the person who merked his friends and then he’s wrong?

I hate this fandom sometimes lmaoooo

There are SO MANY books, written by so MANY people

How can I even compete in such a competitive field, am I even built for it

What is what I’m writing different from anyone else

To be talked about like one of the greatest, it’s impossible, I’m smart enough to know this but if I even get a sliver of recognition I’d be happy, like really happy.

I don’t know what to do so I do nothing

I’m walking no where

Everything bores me, I bore myself

Why do I STILL miss him? Anyone brings up one direction in a slight mere reference and my heart hurts all over again

I will grieve this loss for a long long time, it doesn’t make sense

Liam? Our Liam?

It’s not like listening to the music will bring us back to him but damn it feels so close

Damn, Liam?

It doesn’t even feel right saying one direction anymore.

Walking in the wind

Long way down

Night changes

Fireproof, I listen to them because I want to cry because it doesn’t make sense

Liam was no saint, clearly obviously, I can admit that, he had his flaws, but we can still grieve him.

I can be 20 and still think about being 12 sat up until 6 am in the morning with my sister I didn’t get along with because the only thing that we didn’t fight over was the 1D video diaries and we’d sit there for hourssss and we lost ours of our summer to fanfics on wattpad.

You’ve been gone for a year.

I found this series at 6 and I’ve been bound to it every since.

The first series I’ve ever indulged it, I wanted to LIVE in this world, y’all don’t understand.

The first stories I remember writing were derived from dragon ball.

Your influence has lasted in my mind for 14 years. Thank you

Thank you thank you thank you, for my favorite series ever

Your not who you were yesterday, your so much brighter

The spring equinox is in 20 days