ranking gc characters based on how safe you’d feel in a car with them driving
RANKING GC CHARACTERS BASED HOW SAFE I'D FEEL IN A CAR WITH THEM DRIVING
im going to ignore that none of them know what the fuck a car is for the purpose of this
Andrey: 5/10. Not because I think he'd necessarily be a bad driver, I'd just feel lowkey unsafe in any situation with him. Man definitely has quiet road rage in which he gets increasingly scarier to even look at despite not even saying anything
Natasha: 5/10. Probably not a very good driver, but she won't kill you. Maybe you'll get pulled over or nearly rear-end someone just a little bit, but so far she hasn't done any actual damage. Her car is probably bougie af tho so at least you'll be ridin in style. Probably cant park for shit
Sonya: 10/10. Sonya's gotta be a pretty good driver. Stops at stop signs even when there's nobody around for miles. Will stop if she sees an animal waiting to cross the road.
Marya: 7/10. Average driver, but she has so much road rage that sometimes you think she might actually hit somebody just to spite them. She won't, but she thinks about it. Your ears will be ringing after how many times she honks.
Anatole: 2/10. Do not let him near anything that can do any damage. Does Anatole LOOK like somebody who got his driver's license to you?? The only reason I'm not giving him a 1/10 is because he doesn't drive (rich boy) and therefore isn't an actual threat to anybody's life
Helene: 3/10. Is capable of driving well, but refuses to go underneath sonic the hedgehog levels of speed. She PROBABLY won't crash into something too extreme, but she really does like the thrill of literally almost dying. Will call you a nerd if you ask her to slow down. Only slows down when cops are near.
Dolokhov: 6/10. Depends on what mood he's in. Sometimes he can be a little shit and go speed demon, but most of the time he's pretty okay. You won't die.
OPB: -20/10. This man can barely see. There's a 90% chance he'll just straight up fucking die at the wheel or run you off the road just because.
Mary: 7/10. Very dependable driver, but also very anxious. Only drives when she needs to, and when she does it's with the upmost care. You're gonna have to be quiet though, she's concentrating.
Balaga: 0/10. There's an entire song about this. He's already THAT BAD at 12 miles an hour with horses. Imagine him with a car. There would be absolutely no survivors.
Pierre: 8/10. Very good driver. Careful and probably does that thing where he puts his arm over your front like a seatbelt if you have to stop too suddenly. He gets points off though because he'd force himself to struggle through driving when tired, in unsafe weather, or maybe even a little drunk.