War & Peace & Crippling Depression

I just…can’t. I’ve tried. I’ve tried listening to pieces of it, I’ve tried coming in with an open mind, I’ve tried putting aside all the ICK that I feel because this is Chess, it’s my favorite musical, the music and the lyrics are still there. But I JUST.CAN’T.DO.IT

It’s not that I need it to be a “definitive” Chess. It’s not that it doesn’t include things from other productions. I don’t need the show to be the same as others, or to be “fixed.” But fucking hell this isn’t Chess. I refuse to believe that the bastardization of all of these characters, the (poorly-written) Whedon-inspired dialogue, the overplaying of The Cold War, comes together as a legitimate representation of the musical Chess.

I’ve never felt more like Dark!Willow than right now, because if I had the power to inflict some sort of harm on Danny Strong’s character I would do it. He wasn’t even a footnote in my thoughts and I now want to watch his world burn (maybe not that extreme but FUCK YOU DANNY STRONG FUCK YOU ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE COLD WAR YOU’RE SO OBSESSED WITH).

I tried. I did. But it’s ruined and it’s tainted and I hate it I hate it now I hate seeing any news about Chess and that might be the saddest thing of all.

Nothing can redeem this show for me. Not Nicholas Christopher - which would probably be the closest thing to do it. Nothing can redeem it. And I’m just drowning in the Chess tag with everyone loving it - having their opinions, having their critiques - but overall loving it.

And I feel insane as everyone talks it up despite its flaws and all I can do is seethe in a corner by myself wondering where all the other Chess fans are that hate this production.

Look, Dolokhov's coming around And we're off to the club Will you come, old man?

jamie muscato as anatole and declan bennett as pierre / donmar warehouse, 2025

So today I tripped. Fell flat on my face, it was awful but ultimately harmless. My service dog, however, is trained to go get an adult if I have a seizure, and he assumed this was a seizure (were training him to do more to care for me, but we didn’t learn I had epilepsy until a year after we got him)

I went after him after I had dusten off my jeans and my ego, and I found him trying to get the attention of a very annoyed woman. She was swatting him away and telling him to go away. So I feel like I need to make this heads up

If a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down and in need of help