doll-faced hooligan

hey guys, i’m lunie. i’m twenty-seven and most of my blogs are low to medium activity with random bursts of high posting. i go by est, and am a full time college student. if i’m not here i’m at @medteq, @notalt + @neoracle. the current blog you are on is one for my mox oc, candy sinclair who is an enforcer and solo.

all in one page. meme tag. pinterest.

❛     no  freaking  way..     ❜      her jaw drops,   mouth open like a  fish.      ❛     oh  my  god..   you  have  to show me,   i’ll give you my first born or  some shit.    i’m for-real serious,   i’ll  pay  for that content.    her hands are like,   lethal  fucking  weapons!    what pendejo thought to pick a fight with her..   please  say it was arasaka!     ❜

❛  alright,  c’mon  back  with  me.  i  got  it  hooked  up  to  one  of  judy’s  old  monitors,  ❜  the mox smirks in the way she always does when she’s full of bad ideas. she glances back to v with a tilt of her head.

he takes a moment. lost is an interesting description. 

he’s not lost, in that he knows where he is, but getting there is a blank space. ❝ i – i’m good, yeah. sorry. were we – ❞ talking? he’s lost the thread somewhere.

he’s  been  standing  at  the  edge  here  for  a  few  minutes. rita didn’t want to approach him and candy couldn’t blame her. there was something off about him, the kind that gave her pause.

   “ don’t . don’t judge . ” laughter for a brief moment , arms cross over chest . “ it was a bad moment in my life . my fashion taste got better , i just didn’t realize i still owned it . ”

       //:   starter call   INIT_MEMORY_MAPPING   @dolligan​

  ❛  oh,  sugar  ——  i  ain’t  judgin’.   ❜  candy remarks with a faint smirk as she looks over the dress. it’s gaudy, even by neo-kitsch standards, but it’s cute. her gaze lands on v once more, a questioning glance.

   The flow of a few drinks always takes the edge off. Lizzie’s Bar is far more for pleasure rather than business, though she does have a few clients here, but that’s not why she’s here tonight, a Saturday in Night City after a long haul of work the night prior. It’s been a little hard to tell what line, exactly, that Candy’s been toeing and after the third shot, well, the words just slip past red-painted lips without really thinking about it. 

 “No, no, it’s…just wondered,” Between the bass pounding and the sudden warmth flushing her cheeks (it’s the vodka, she swears), she pauses, collects herself, hand through thick hair to push it out of her face. “Not that you should stop,” Here, her smile returns - Candy’s been a kind of strange bedfellow, in the sense of companionship the last little while, one Nikita’s found herself looking forward to every time she comes around this side of the city. “You want a drink?”

lizzie’s  bar  is  an  oasis  in  a  desert  filled  with  tyger  claws.      it’s one of the few safe havens in night city where even the corpos can wander freely. in truth, candy liked the idea of people just throwing their classifications away, even if it was for a night. it would never last, it couldn’t last. the system wasn’t built to sustain it.  still, the solo will embrace it as she can, as chaos allows her to. 

as humans, we cannot escape the terror of loss.    loss comes in many forms:  loss of perception, loss of emotion, loss of our loved ones, but the worst out of all of them was the loss of one’s self. the complete and utter lack of the soul that made you, well, you. at first glance, it’s a very scary concept very few people decide to even think about, yet v had to grapple with it every day of his life. with his back against the wall, running against a clock that seemed to go faster with each tick. and the more he moved, the more he walked back, instead of forward. it was scary, but it was an inevitability. something he needed to come to terms with, if they, one day, wanted to overcome it. he wasn’t going to give up any time soon, but the looming, impending feeling of doom hanging over his head like a hangman’s axe definitely didn’t make things any easier. not to mention the devil sitting on his shoulder, but that wasn’t something he was willing to go into, not now, not while thinking about her. not as they’re this close, their hearts beating almost in unison. it’d be a shame.

and he doesn’t want to waste any time. when he looks at her, he doesn’t see what everyone else does. any dumbass could look at her and see a mox, but titles, at the end of the day, were only that. words that mattered little to nothing. he saw candy sinclair. a woman with needs, desires, strengths, and weaknesses. he saw a woman who managed to turn her weaknesses into her own strengths, and cloak herself in an armor that was nearly impenetrable. a woman who could melt the right side of a glacier and still have it in her to move on to the left. a woman whose smile was so bright it could’ve blinded him. hell, he could keep going, but for the sake of everyone involved, he didn’t. she was looking right at him, and it takes him a while to notice it. but when she looks back at him, her eyes aren’t hidden. no more hearts, no more façades to put on. baring herself to him, she looked as vulnerable as anyone else. it makes his heart skip a beat.

❝ i know you ain’t. ’m just tellin’ you things how they are. ❞

it’s just a lot.  the laughter that spills from his lips is that of a man who knows what’s about to come, but little did v know that he was about to be sorely mistaken. he sees her shake, tremble, twitch under the pressure of an invisible burden on her shoulders. the grip on her hand tightens, as if she was about to be swept away by something else. something that was going to take her away from him. something inside him breaks at the thought of her disappearing, of losing her forever.  please don’t tell me you’re leaving, it’s a thought that hammers at his brain like a headache,  if you want to leave, don’t tell me.

when she says those words, they don’t understand them at first. prepared and willing to face utter rejection, hearing the total opposite leaves v feeling completely out of place. she loves him. she always has. his heart leaps in his chest like a thing in pain, and the hand wrapped around hers is pulled away. she was shaking even more than before, she…  she meant that, didn’t she? when he moves away, he wastes no time in joining her side of the booth, wrapping both of his arms around her, to offer as much comfort as he can, while at the same time trying to overwhelm his brain. to try and stop the tears from falling and ruining everything. hands move to tangle in bleached blonde locks, swiping them back from her face. it takes him a brief moment.   ❝ i love you too. i do, i—  i never thought you’d feel the same way. ❞   her words hit him like a ton of bricks.   ❝ i’m terrified too. of losin’ you. i never wanna leave your side, i don't— ❞   v holds back that feeling that made the corners of his eyes burn.   ❝ don’t want t'lose you, ever. ❞   it’s a relief, hearing that coming from her. but god, was it fucking scary. can you love someone so much it hurts?