I genuinely think that any change in behavior starts w telling yourself that your worst days, worst performances, just worst moments in general aren’t who you “truly are.” It’s all about unlearning any thought process that essentially chalks up traits you aren’t proud of to “this is who I really am” “in reality I’m lazy” “in reality I’m just a bad person” bc not only is that never true, but it impedes your efforts to try to do better as well. Anything we struggle with has roots in things like childhood trauma, thoughts you’ve been fed before, your upbringing…. but never that you’re inherently a bad person. What I’m learning this year is that a lot of us doing better & being better & improving really comes down to self-talk—to disavowing the very notion that deep down we’re simply bad.

Btw Israel let Palestinians celebrate not one (1) holiday in peace. They didn’t grant Christian Palestinians access to Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, they actively attacked families who were already starving at Iftar during Ramadan, and now there are several reports of families being killed on Eid al-Fitr—a sacred multi-day holiday practiced by lots of Arabs. It breaks my heart imagining the Palestinian families in Gaza right now, most of whom are spending Eid mourning loved ones who were taken by Israeli strikes. Most of us will never understand the sheer magnitude of that pain.

happy "everyone forgets that icarus also flew" monday. i want to throw up !

Constantly torn between diligent self care, going to bed at 8pm, working out at 5am, having my shit together completely and wanting to stay up all night and be chaotic and smoke weed and be wild and howl at the moon

Just know that the work you put into yourself will always compound and pay you back 100x. And there’s no rush to a finish line, everything is always a work in progress. I will never regret going to college, buying books, courses, classes, investing in hobbies, traveling, the gym and workout classes, high quality organic food, good healthcare, high quality clothing, taking care of my skin/hair/nails/teeth/brows/lashes/etc. because it all snowballs into the larger picture. No one can take your education from you. No one can take your fit body and healthy, glowing appearance from you. It takes real work day in and day out to have it all together. I’ve invested thousands of dollars and countless hours into myself and I would do it all again and then some. There is no easy fix and there is no get rich quick scheme. You know what you have to do, it just takes the courage to do it.

Nothing is more devastating than this. The UN World Food Program has officially suspended aid delivery to northern Gaza, citing violence and lack of safety as major reasons the aid trucks aren’t getting through. Israeli officers are liberally shooting at Palestinians who try to approach the trucks in hopes of getting even the smallest morsels of food, despite the fact that Israel has allowed only one crossing for the already woefully low numbers of aid they’re permitting entry. Reportedly this number has fallen from 140 a day in January to just 60 a day this month, and now 16% of all Gazan children under 2 are “acutely malnourished.” Meanwhile, the US vetoes a call for a ceasefire for the third fucking time. It’s so inhumane in its cruelty it’s actually shocking to see it being allowed to go on and on, and on an international level no less.