Life In Tension

I was at the gym recently working off the flab and I ran into a friend who still attends the church I left in 2013.  (A little back story of the friend.  He is a very successful business man and has worked his way into a comfortable life in the field of sales [think Tony Robbins whimsical lifestyle].  Missionary kid.  Very nice and extremely giving.  He and his wife are the quintessential “Ken & Barbie”.)

We quickly caught up and then he asked that fateful question: “Are you planning on coming back to the church?”  I smiled, thought of my real answer which was “Hell No!”, but delivered a respectful “No”.  He probed and I allowed.  I shared that I have moved on from churches like the one I was on staff at.  I offered up an analogy that has helped me to explain how I feel about Fundamental Evangelical Churches.  I called it the “Cruise” church experience.  Where the pastor is the Captain and the assisting ministers run around and serve the members by: “refilling mai tais”, “fanning them as they relax in the Sun”, and assuming the role of a Bellhop.  The Captain (Pastor) keeps the constituents coming back for more because he repeatedly reinforces what the people want/have to believe.  Sermons/Messages are tailored to this approach and people (tithe/offering believing people), in return, give of their monies to support the church (cruiseliner).  

This image, if you haven’t already felt the tone of this blog post, is of course embedded in cynicism and hurt from my experience.  Maybe one day I will imagine a positive image, but for now let’s continue.  So, back to my convo with my friend.  When I released this image into the Universe (Fundies LOVE statements like that) his immediate response was, “I know there is bullshit in the church.  Believe me, I grew up a missionary kid.” or something to that extent.  I told him the bullshit I am not able to “put up with” is the business approach to church leadership, especially in the area of finances.  I quipped, “When the church leadership knows who tithes/gives what, then it’s game over.”  You cannot minister impartially any more.  As a pastor in a church where you fundraise to support building fees, salaries, bills, etc.. your very livelihood depends on getting people to give (another way of saying it is “inviting people to give”) and keeping the regular givers happy.  When you know who the “heavy hitters” are and what they tithe/give, and you are aware of your desperate need to raise funds and how your “vision” of the church can grow, then the biggest temptation is to cater to their needs more than others; to offer them more leverage than people who give less or none at all.  If you lose them you lose staff, or even worse yet, the building (that which you gave your life to build and sustain in the name of God) and/or your salary.  In addition to knowing who tithes/gives what, the fact that there is absolutely ZERO accountability with that kind of information perpetuates the pastor/church leaders in the environment of absolute power.  A very dangerous, yet easily excused and justified (sometimes with laughter) approach to pastoral ministry.

After my quip I said I am looking for a community of believers and church leadership with more equality/impartiality than that.  He quickly seemed shocked then jokingly said “you’re not going communism on me, are you?”  (At this point I realize that I have just polarized the convo).  I told him that it’s not what I was saying, but that monetary giving in the form of tithes/offerings should not be equal to a persons voice/influence/leverage as a member of the church (ex. if I give 10% of my tithe which translates to $500/month and another person gives 10% of their tithe which translates to $5,000/month, common Christian Church leadership philosophy/thought says the person giving more “gets” more weight/leverage into ministry options.  If I give more there is an expectation that I have preferential treatment into the decision making for church vision/direction.

As we were talking about this I recalled the Parable of the widow.  She gave a fraction of a penny as an offering to the tabernacle and Jesus said that she gave more out of her desperation/poverty than any “heavy hitters” gave out of their abundance.  So my friend attempted to use a business analogy tailored to my current occupation.  He said, if a person only bought 1 remodel from you and I bought 10 remodels a month, who would you offer more weight to/leverage/voice?  I smiled and replied, in the world of business that is a foundational principle that you don’t want to violate because it obviously translates to more money and affirms the partnership.  That form of principle has no business in the church.  He respectfully disagreed and informed me of his years of experience in sales and offered to meet with me to compare sales notes.  We both recognized this conversation was ending and we needed to get back to our workout.