Bro İ hate being an academic they're making me write shit 😭 İ thought İ was just supposed to sit in an old chair smoke & say something french every now and then 😢

“Why are American homes made out of cardboard” we just had a 4.7 earthquake and i didn’t even know because i just thought someone slammed the door to the garage

i sincerely apologize to those of you who want to be my friend.. i am a horrible texter and you will realize i am better as an idea in your head

congratulations Dave. you have got the t shot, phalloplasty, mastectomy, and jawbones implant. you are now hairy. and have pennis. now for the final step of your gender reassignment we'll be sending you to jupiter

fuck i can’t believe i wasted my entire life being moved by art and beauty and the indomitable human spirit ugh i should’ve been making money through internet scams