Attachment Barbie

"Alright, I’ll listen to that when you’re in this much pain."

Amelia’s self-satisfaction was much too short-lived for her liking as Teddy’s protests started and ended with her taking hold of the drugs. Before she could get a word out to defend herself — to explain away her actions in any way — the other woman had begun scooping up her tools and tablets, and her insides lurched. If she waited much longer to refuel her high, her withdrawal would be in full swing. Pretty soon, hallucinations and nausea would take over, and she would be curled in a ball trying not to scratch off her skin. The small girl lunged forward, now wishing she had taken the pill herself instead of using it as a challenge and hoping she could distract long enough to grab even a single tablet just to get herself through.

   ❝ Teddy, I swear— Give me the drugs. Now! ❞

No stranger to making a scene, even among friends who only wanted to help, she could hear herself screaming almost without knowing what she was saying anymore. In fact, she was no longer altogether certain real words were coming out through the shrillness of her voice. Cerulean eyes could only watch in utter horror as her stash was flushed despite her attempts at grabbing them, or even just knocking them from the cardiothoracic surgeon’s frustratingly steady hand.

   ❝ Who gave you the right to play God with someone else’s life!? Get out! Get the hell out of my house, you stupid, ignorant monster bitch! ❞

Much to her chagrin and immense frustration, Amelia was pinned to the ground before she could make good on any threats. She squirmed and fought to get free, but her weakened frame was no match for the already-stronger former soldier. Tears pricked and burned her eyes, and she let out a shriek of agony. Neither option sounded good, or even in the vicinity of decent. She wondered if she could opt for the latter and announce to the staff that she had been kidnapped, or anything that would get her out of either situation.

   ❝ Teddy— Get off of me! You think you’re so much better than me, but the truth is you’re just sad and lonely and pathetic and you’re taking it out on me because I’m the only one who doesn’t treat you like some pitiful widow. I may be addicted to drugs, but you’re just addicted to feeling sorry for yourself. Do whatever you want. I don’t care. ❞

This was foreign territory to her. She was usually the person dealing with the aftermath of a drug overdose or withdrawal, not the one to be dealing with it while it was taking it’s course. The woman had been warned multiple times from Derek, Addison, even Amelia herself what it was like when she fell off the wagon and deep down she was terrified. Her job was to be prepared for the unknown and come up with a solution to solve it, although this was not her specialty. The only thing this was doing was hurting the one thing she knew inside and out— her heart.

Her height gave her an advantage as she made her way to the bathroom with the brunette doing her best to tackle her to the ground. Teddy had a mission and when the drugs splashed against the water she felt as if she could finally breathe again. The name calling caused a laugh to escape from her lips as she took the brunette to the ground, seeing how she had been looking for a good nickname to call herself around the hospital. 

   ❝ Monster Bitch is something I can definitely deal with. ❞

She was not expecting the next string of hateful words though. As much as she did her best to pretend that she had not been affected, her attempts failed. It had been a month since her husband had passed away, maybe she had been talking to much about him to the woman who was underneath her hold, or it could have been the drugs causing her to say hateful things. Either way, Teddy was hurt. But she could not show weakness, even if the only thing she wanted to do was get up and leave her friend and allow her to mess up her life. 

   ❝ You’re right. I am sad, pathetic, and lonely but not by choice. The person I loved the most, the person who deserved to have the longest life of all died and it’s not fair. It’s not fair that I am sitting on top of you right now pleading for you to keep yours when he doesn’t have one. You’re selfish for taking your life for-granted and giving up on yourself, because you know why? Henry couldn’t do that. I may be a pitful widow, but I have not allowed that to stop me from picking myself and moving on. I don’t let that control me or ruin my life. At least I am making an attempt to move on. You say all I can do is feel sorry for myself? What the hell do you call this, Amelia? You’re taking drugs so you don’t have to confront with whatever the fuck is going on in your life. Talk about taking the easy road out. You are killing yourself, and as your friend I will not allow you to do that. As a friend, I have to care, even if you don’t. So no, I am not leaving and there is absolutely not a damn thing you can do about because you know what? That’s life. Life is shitty and unexpected, but when you roll with the punches, life gives you amazing things. Life has allowed you to become a brilliant surgeon—better than your brother for that matter. Life has given you a nice place to live, people who love and care about you, and here you are. Giving up on life. ❞

Teddy blinked away the tears as she gripped harder on the girl’s pinned wrist. 

Amelia glared at the blond. Whatever she considered this plan, she didn’t like it. Whether that was because it was working or simply because she was starting to come down from her high, she couldn’t tell. Either way, her buzz was gone, and a thin film of sweat had started to coat her ashen skin.

      ❝ You don’t— However screwed up— It’s not about the high. It’s— What I want isn’t for someone to understand because no one can understand. What I want is to be left alone. ❞

Her expression twisted. She flashed back to the scene she had once made, almost in the reverse position to where she found herself now — to the face that stood over hers one last time not long after. Her jaw clenched, ready to spew sadness into anger. She had already chucked the syringe, but she was starting to become suspicious. Just like when Charlotte had tried to feed her buprenorphine.

      ❝ You know what? You want to get high? ❞

Her tactic changed instantaneously. She snatched a stray pill from the side table, dropping to her knees in front of it and reaching for a nearby bottle to smash it. Carefully, the neurosurgeon gathered the powder into a neat pile.

     ❝ You want fast? There you go. ❞

She motioned to her handiwork, eyes narrowing. Amelia had no desire to see Teddy follow through with any of this or be caught up in the same web into which she had tangled herself, but the line had been drawn clearly in her mind, and she no longer deemed herself capable of backing down.

      ❝ Go ahead. Try it. You don’t need me to show you how, do you? ❞

There was definite tension within the air. Ears ringing with the sound of her own heartbeat as she listened to the words being spat towards her. She had desperately wanted her plan to work, for Amelia to realize what she was doing was wrong and to stop her from doing so, but just as the girl had given up on herself, she gave up on her friend.  Teddy could feel her cheeks flush as she watched the pill being crushed into small particles in front of her, becoming enraged at Amelia’s strategy to retaliate. 

   ❝ I’m done with this, do you hear me? Pull your head out of your own ass enough to realize that you would have let me, your friend, take drugs and go down the same path you are on right now. Everyone’s life is shitty, quit taking the easy way out. ❞

Rising to her feet, she collected everything on the table including the pile of powder into her hands and moved quickly to the bathroom, throwing everything into the toilet one by one, making sure to break the glass bottles full of liquid when they hit the water. Pushing the flush lever on the side of the machine, she moved back out to the hallway where the brunette now stood screaming and gripped ahold of each arm, bringing her down to the ground forcefully.

   ❝ Enough! We both know I am stronger than you so just shut up and listen. ❞

Words screamed as she pinned the weak slender figure down who was continuing her attempt to break free.