#answerstosatan

@answerstosatan @satanisaddizen

In the wake of his marriage nearly crumbling to dust, Alex knew something needed to change. Years were shed off his rugged good looks the second it finally clicked. The topic had been on the table for some time, but the sheer enormity of the challenge intimidated the ped’s surgen, if he was being honest with himself. His wife was more than capable, of this he was sure. She had the experience and the sufficient knowledge and professionalism he lacked. 

The stress had been eating away at them for months. The amount of fights they had shared was just insane. It was just getting bad and he knew it. It was either about money or time or purpose. Their schedules were constantly clashing. Alex simply missed working with Addison and following a case with her. They had always operated seamlessly together every step of the way, and over the last few years their connection had only seemed to have grown. 

Sometimes all it took was one look across the room, mouth masked, and he knew what she was thinking. A nod, a subtle twitch. They were magic together. 

But they couldn’t be magic together when they weren’t at their best and lately Addison and Alex had been far from their very best. Instead of tearing into each other all the time and bringing their score to what he decided couldn’t be any greater than a five, they needed to go back to being a ten. As surgeons. As partners. As parents. 

When he arrived home at close to nine, it was to the sight of Addison and Gabriel curled up on the couch in front of the TV. “Hey Dad.” Gabriel greeted right away, the light of the screen reflecting his pale face. “We were just about to watch a movie, you wanna join?” Gabriel knew things between his parents had been tense lately, and Alex knew he knew it too. “Um...” Alex hesitated, running his hand over his face. He was tired and had been hoping to talk to Addison, but that damn son of his looked so hopeful. He shared a quiet glance with his wife before replying. “What movie?” Then he shook his head. It didn’t matter. “Can I have a shower first? I smell like surgery. Just start it without me and I’ll join.”

              fine  powdered  snow  falls  from  the  skies  above  as  they  sit ,     lights  dim  because  they’ve  got  the  christmas  tree  in  the  living  room  with  a  fire  stoked  by  a  few  logs .          christmas  was  approaching  fast     &&     his  house  wasn’t  usually  decorated  for  these  kinds  of  things .          but  they  did  it  together .          he  figured  it’d  make  her  feel  more  at  home  than  anything ,     as  they  were  still  getting  used  to  this .          them .          mark     &&     addison .          

↳ | ; 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧. ✩ @answerstosatan​​​ asked ❝ I can’t do this anymore . ❞ 

@answerstosatan @satanisaddizen

Dear Holly,

Came for the _______. Stayed for the _______. Tell me why you followed my blog and what made you stay.

➓ What were some of the most frustrating moments you had with your muse’s interaction with another muse?

I can’t think of anything specific, but there are a million occasions where Alex chooses to do something I didn’t anticipate. I’ve had threads where I wrote and wanted Alex to forgive something/someone, and I thought that he had, only for it to come rearing its ugly face again in the midst of writing and disrupt the flow and direction my partner had been taking things. ( @answerstosatan ) It can also be sometimes frustrating when I want him to communicate. Because he has a really hard time putting his thoughts and feelings into words and he will reject suggestions I lay out for him. Sometimes that’s also a tough thing to overcome while writing. My partners have sort of learned to take the scraps my muse gives them and run with it. I try to pay more attention to writing his body language and things like that and give him action responses to make up for it. 

➍ Would you say you’re a decent roleplayer or do you have any self doubts?

I have a lot of self doubts as a roleplayer. I think it’s just who I am as a person though, as I have extremely low self-esteem. Below average I’d say. I can be really hard on myself, and sometimes it’s not even called for. Writing Alex comes the easiest for me out of all my muses, though. But I still have days where I compare myself to others and worry sometimes that I don’t do him justice or write him in character or get his dialogue right. For instance, I started writing him back in late 2011, before his character really started to mellow and become such a good, stable person and friend. Until recently I always worried I was making him too soft or too boring, but I just told myself that if Alex Karev was happy, he wouldn’t be an entire hot mess anymore like the Alex I wrote in my AU’s. It helped that in seasons 11-current my theory has been coming true on the show.