Mind Of Mine

“Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralysed by it” - all too well

I don’t know how to explain this. But I’m so tired of living. Not really in a suicidal way. But I wish I could just stop being me. Even if just for one minute. I’m so tired. Every second living in this body, with this mind, drains everything out of me. I don’t know how to carry on. But I do. Every day I wake up with the same sadness. Of realisation that this is my life. I wish I could just press a button and switch off. But it seems as though I’m stuck like this forever. Im just so tired.

Reliving certain traumas in your mind is excruciating. You can’t escape the thoughts or switch your brain off, they play over and over - and then other traumatic memories pop in as well, to remind you of the pathetic excuse of a life you have lived. I feel sick to my stomach and my heart is beating out of my chest. These things happened years ago and yet there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think of them. I wish I could forget

sometimes I imagine my younger self sitting across from me and I just want to cry. I’m sorry I never became the person you wanted to be. You deserved to be . Life got in the way. And its truly kicked my ass

the realisation that no one is coming to save you is .. soul destroying

the devil always makes a reappearance

turning on do not disturb even tho you know damn well no one’s texting you ..

Life is so fucking unfulfilling like this really isn’t fair .... I’ve gotta wake up everyday and relive this shit ???

7 billion people in the world with the population constantly growing and yet I've never felt more alone

if I understood half of the SHIT that goes through my mind MAYBE I'd have a chance at building a stable relationship with myself