Yeezy Season

This is the best time for me fr. I wake up everyday at 4:30 just to do nothing in bed for like 2 hours then go to work. After I smoked she called me and we talked for a lil and I couldn’t really tell how shit was. It felt like one of them “let me just call case i know it will make him happy” calls I don’t know it was cool tho. now I gotta go to this job that I really don’t care for anymore but my co workers are cool as shit. Management is horrible and the politics of the place are pretty much designed for me not to win. Everything is based of a buddy system and I’ve tried bonding with my manager a lil, won him a $1000 bottle of liquor, go above and beyond with task and it still feels like I’m not appreciated or he say some disrespectful shit. That man has bullshitted on approving my time sheet and I’ve missed out on paychecks cause if that dumb shit. Shit is slowing down at work and I pretty much feel like i’m working with no purpose and i’m in a box being limited to what I can do. There’s a couple things that come into play as far a the job situation and what i’m gonna do

Idk if ima keep going tonight. Maybe off the late night or early more who knows. But i’m boutta spark this bleezy (sid) and try not to feel like this for the rest of the night

this is pretty much a spot on video about what going on rn and its crazy that hes feeling like this. but i know a lot of people are probably feeling like this we just dont talk about it cause people dont understand or take it as something else. ive been feeling like ive been putting in endless woke in some places and with certain people but its looking like im not making any progress anymore. he talks about how fast people can switch up and thats exactly how im feeling a the moment. me and sabrina had a slight disagreement and instead of me giving a heads up about how i was feeling it came across as an attack and i reacted out of emotion instead of logic. we talked about it but she told me that she doesnt know about us as of right now and she doesnt want to think about it or something really close along those lines. we were supposed to do something for valentines day and we had a trip planned for march but now both of those things are up in the air cause i have absolutelty no clue whats going to happen. i really try my hardest to keep the good thoughts coming and hop for the best but ive been in this situation twice already and i kinda know how this shit goes at this point. this all happened last tuesday which was the 22nd and since then shit doesnt seem as genuine as it used to be. school just started back up for her last week so i kinda get it but last semester she used to text me all the time even with her busy schedule or at least text me a lil .it was normal to get  phone call from her when she was on her way to her night class or even after she got out so we could just talk about our day. i really loved that cause i dont have nobody who even gives a fuck about my day or is actually intrested about the shit i do throughout the day. I always loved hearing about her day too cause she is so nice and even when she had shit days she always kept moving forward even when shit was stressful. now were at the point where i barley hear from her, barley get a text back, or we just always miss each other. she told me today that she need/needed space and thats why i said i know how this shit might go. it usually starts with space then you get used to the space and dont need to go back to how thnigs were before and you just grow apart. shit takes a month or less. i really hope that doesnt happen because i really like this girl and ive made a lot of sacrifices to make sure she waqs good but thats all on me. i go back and forth in my mind all day trying to just not think about it to the point that it stops me from doing things 

Currently the things that are heavy on my mind is this friendshsip/relationship im having with this girl name sabrina, my working situation, my mother, my dog and grandmother soon leaving me and I dont know when, living situation, and just thinking about the next two months. I really dont know what I want to talk about first. I think im gonna start with the easiest thing first just so i can get SOMETHING off and ill eventually work my way up to the thing I said first. I doubt i talk about any of that stuff right this minute cause i wanna explain myself a lil before i just dive into all this shit. im gonna try to keep shit organized and all that just incase i do eventually give this to sabrina after we go thr,,,,