Gasoline Rainbows

Oh hai Tumblr. Looks like something has breathed new life into you after such a long time.

Well here I am many years later having just gotten my GCS/GRS

The higher dose of estrogen is definitely having an effect. I'm suddenly much preferring to wear a skirt on a hot day!

But seriously, a few people this week have commented that my shoulders look smaller and today I notice this leather jacket, which was tight a few months ago, is now getting almost roomy.

Nearly 3 months HRT and I have had some interesting observations lately about myself and my transition. I’m just starting on 4mg Estrodial Valerate, a doubling of the initial test dosage. Even though it was a really small dosage it’s been quite noticeable to me that I’ve changed. My skin is finer, and I’ve lost mass all-round. I’m slimmer and lighter than I was. I still look ostensibly kind of male, but I dress as female 99% of the time in my trainers and jeans way. 

Something I didn’t really expect was that my life long drive to keep fit and exercise has fallen away. Which leads me to believe that I used to use exercise as an attempt to “fix” myself. I’d workout and run to better myself as I really felt terrible about myself. All of a sudden my confidence in who I am has meant that a few weekends have gone by and I’ve just not really felt like going for a run, and that I was suddenly okay about it. I have been realising that most people haven’t had the same drive to run that I always had. It’s incredibly calming. I really do like myself so much more now. 

This week also I’ve been organising the blood tests and appointments to get my new prescription. It’s been highs and lows with some misgendering from GPs and then my local practice being so great switching my name and gender marker over really quickly. That feels so good. All of a sudden I’m SO looking forward to the future. I now really would love breasts to grow, where before I was curious or ambivalent about it. I care far more about being perceived as female and hearing “miss” or “she” gives me a lovely thrill whereas before I was liking it, but a little awkward about it. 

Week four of my HRT done! That's one month done and today I received my replacement driver's licence with my name and change of gender!! I'm so happy about this, everything is starting to happen, starting to progress. Last week I began to notice my skin changing slightly, it's become softer and more even in tone. I'm also setting some thinning around my neck and waist. Tiny, but a wonderful beginning.

Pale Blue Dot

So today is the day. February 20th 2019 is the day I received my prescription for Hormone Replacement Therapy in order to begin the medical part of my transition to female. Obviously I’m over the moon, and can’t quite believe I actually made it to this point. It’s taken a lot of work and planning so far, but I’m just now really starting. 

I traveled down to Brighton on England’s South Coast last night from London and stayed in a hotel overnight. I treated myself to a face mask and relaxed, knowing I’d be getting up bright and early in the morning, doing my makeup as well as I could, to go see the endocrinologist at Nuffield Health. 

He was lovely and talked me through everything and offered me the option of a prescription right then and there. Of course I said YES! A private E prescription for 3 months cost the outrageous sum of... £10. Incredible. 

I traveled back up to London and got it filled in at Liverpool Street Station and gobbled that fucker down with a nice lunch! Ha. I then spent a nice evening with my best friend Ruth who was pooped from creating her new gym studio in Bethnal Green. We had a lovely walk around Shoreditch looking at clothes before a healthy Busaba dinner. 

Having a little fun trying a bit of red lip. But then of course havily filtering the image! My skin’s no where near this good, but I like my smile lines are still there.