i 💚 ween

a hometown is a type of dead wife

has anyone ever tried putting raw eggs in the detergent slot on the washing machine and olive oil in the fabric softener slot to make clothes mayonnaise

when i was born i said hi and then i started tumblr posting immediately

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

basically the best thing any character can do is decide they don't want to be afraid anymore - in fact they never want to be afraid of anything ever again - and take action so drastic they fail to realise that this too is a decision motivated by fear. or to account for the Consequences of that.

A guy at the gym just looked around, realized he was lifting the same weight as a "girl" in a wheelchair, pushed his weight up two notches, screamed once, and left.

Like,

This is your regularly scheduled reminder that "Life finds a way" is about the dinosaurs becoming transgender

Turns out the scheming eunuch's love for you is genuine

i think its charming when peoples personal lives improve and they get drastically worse at posting

sometimes i want to get into a d/s relationship but instead of sexual stuff it’s them forcing me to do my uni work

The Dom stroking your hair and praising you for getting good sources "Good girl that essay is so long and informative, don't forget to site your sources too"

its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"