it's a big mess

“Sola Gratia” // 00Q

Summary:

“Then what is it?”

James holds his gaze through the small phone screen. He can’t bring himself to say a word.

Eventually, Q sighs. “Do you fancy a trip to Cairo? I know Mallory would be happy to see you.” He pauses. “As, of course, would I.”

James swallows. He’s not sure he can survive a flight that long.

Q seems to know it. He sighs again. “Or I could come to California.”

James wishes it were easier. “You don’t have to.”

Q waves a hand. “I’d do more for you if you needed me to.”

“I know you hate to travel.”

“It’s the flying, that’s all.” He watches Q force a smile. “But I do miss you something terrible, and I love you even more.”

The 00Q/Only Lovers Left Alive au that literally nobody asked for! Featuring depressed James, patient Q, and even less plot than the original Jarmusch film, which is really saying something.

so this is just a housekeeping post to update y’all and to say ima start posting again. with alanbilly from jurassic park iii lmao. so apologies for that since it’s niche. 

hey lads, is it gay if the only reason you survive the bubonic plague is bc your boss, who you have a bit of a crush on, tells you not to die, and then hits you on the head, and then smiles when you say you won’t? is that a normal thing for two straight men to do? 

I feel like hotch, the whole time, was in secret communication with jj and garcia given jj broke the rules for prentiss and garcia would just know in her soul that hotch would want to stay connected, even if it’s in some infinitesimal way. 

and I think specifically once reid goes to jail, hotch goes into overdrive doing secret research to help reid. garcia anonymously sends him a new computer with its own hi-tech wireless set up (I know nothing about computers, just imagine garcia doing some tech wizardry to get hotch a computer he can search from safely), and he starts communicating in code with her about ways they could help reid, leads on mr. scratch etc.

even if it always comes to nothing, I just desperately need for hotch to be fighting for reid, even from witsec. and for the more explicit hotchreid angle, we can think about hotch and reid dancing around one another beforehand, coffee dates, late night dinners after work to decompress and debrief, just starting to realize their relationship might not be so professional, that they’ve got mutual feelings for one another, RIGHT before hotch goes into witsec. so there’s a whole other grief they’re both dealing with. of course, when reid goes to prison, his priorities shift, but im thinking about him and hotch staying up at night, alone in their beds and letting their minds wander to the other in the safety of the dark.

does he still think of me?

is he safe?

will he still want me after this?

will I ever see him again?

what does his body feel like next to mine?

and as I type this, “waiting” by alice boman just came on spotify, and honestly...A FUCKING MOOD.

this is so fucked up. like, so colossally fucked up. a) bc it’s transphobic af and b) bc it genuinely upsets so tony enough that he’d LOOK LIKE THAT, and then literally SHOVE HIS WAY past gibbs.

im too tired to break down this painfully transphobic episode fully, but I would like a heterosexual explanation for the way Tony brushes dirt off of gibbs’ shoulder, unprompted, as well as the fond smile and direct eye contact they offer one another when the man asks if they’re fucking. 

hi hello im still around watching ncis. ive been v depressed about work and some minor health frustrations, plus experiencing some major destiel brain rot (anyone wanna talk about the tragic fallout of endverse!destiel? bc we got to the ep in the rewatch last night and im still thinking of strung out cas hopelessly devoted to dean). there hasn’t been much tibbs stuff to report (an ep where people make jokes about tony being gay; the episode where tony wants to stay the night at gibbs, and they keep referencing a failed attempt at this before--and actually, I should grab caps from that ep now I think about it--the ari episode where tony is worried about gibbs and refers to himself as gibbs’ “best man”).

but this just happened, and it further contributes (along with that ep where gibbs and tony keep referring to their night together under gibbs’ roof) to my headcanon they fucked shortly after tony was hired. maybe more than once. 

hey again, it’s me, back on my tibbs bullshit. so sorry if you were hoping for something different, im afraid im quite broken these days. I also feel like basically im just taking notes for the epic tibbs love story I wanna write (lol yeah right) that spans the 13 seasons Tony was on the show, but anyway.

this convo is bc gibbs is being a dick about tony’s interest in the agent in cuba. he acts, with Tony, like he thinks she’s guilty of treason, but when Tony storms off, he admits to Kate he actually thinks she’s innocent. that’s what prompts Kate to ask “then what’s the problem?” to which gibbs says the above. 

obvi we’re meant to think gibbs has past relationship history with a fellow agent (I can’t remember if/when this is confirmed, could be later in this episode for all I know), but I think it’s more fun to head canon he and Tony hooked up early on in tony’s time with gibbs. this is why Tony is both a little reverent of gibbs, but still mostly a little shit. also why he might be touched gibbs remembers the two year anniversary of hiring him, bc it shows a hint of sentimentality with gibbs he didn’t think was there.