frankie

⋆. 𐙚˚࿔ frankie | she/her | twenty-one | i heart jackass !! 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ requests are currently OPEN! ✰

⋆˚࿔ masterlist | most recent thing i wrote ✰

⋆˚࿔ coming soon, not in a particular order:

requests i'm working on! [link coming soon]

jackass x set hairstylist!reader

other ideas ima get from the great beyond or smth idk

type of writing: headcanons / scenario

word count: 707

potential warnings: none

included: johnny knoxville, chris pontius, bam margera, ryan dunn

request: yes / no

a/n: heya it's me here r some headcanons woo!! hope u enjoy + if anybody has a request send 'em in ok stay cool goats

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⋆˚࿔ johnny knoxville ✰

he's been excited for this for a while

he had been staking out your favorite band

buying every magazine they were in

waiting for them to announce a tour

and when they finally did, he refused to buy tickets right away

he put his faith in a radio contest

which he won, first try

(of course he did)

won't tell you where you're going

"jus' get in the car & let me handle it"

won't turn the radio on

just starts singing their songs, horribly off key & with half the lyrics missing

lots of "yeah!" & "uh-huh" & "thentheysaysomethingiforget"

his eyes are going to pop out, he's smilin' so hard.

and when you get there he slings an arm around your neck and grins even more

buys you a beer when you get there

"don't worry, i brought a flask too"

insert exaggerated wink

he sways along to the music

in fact he sways so hard he rams into your side multiple times

when you call him on it he just shrugs

buys the tightest shirt humanly possible from the merch table & immediately puts it on & ya it looks good ofc it does

⋆˚࿔ chris pontius ✰

it's the day of, and he's got no tickets

sold out show, some shoddy bar

but they got a bouncer, okay

and they're gonna be checkin'.

"hey, don't even worry. don't even worry, okay? let me work my magic."

you watch him go up to the guy guarding the door

he nearly skipped up to him, and he doesn't stop moving the whole time he's talking

all hand gestures & emphasis on the wrong words, wide eyes that trick people into thinking he's plumb stupid when he's really very smart

(can i be honest idk if plumb stupid is an expression but it fits lmfaoo)

by the end of the conversation he's gotten you both in, vip-style

and the bouncer gave him the baseball cap he was wearing, which he places on your head backwards, pecking you on the cheek.

"what're you waitin' for?! let's go!"

charms half the crowd into letting you guys in the front

gets called onstage to dance

probably rips off most of his clothes to do so which makes it even better

does the first successful stage dive anyone has ever done & is placed gently back right next to you

proceeds to aggressively make out with you through the whole next song & people like him so much they dgaf

on the drive home he won't stop saying "that was the best day ever!" and you love it

then you go home and give him the best night ever

woah woah woah who said that woah

⋆˚࿔ bam margera ✰

alr we all know which band you're going to see

he picks out your outfit

complements his but doesn't exactly match bc yeah

lets you do his eyeliner

makes you redo his eyeliner

you get a car to go there

lowk rly fun & there's a bar in the car #hellosailor

#sailor=alcohol

let's just say you guys have a great time

jumping around & when you run into people next to you you just laugh rly hard at them they lowkey caught off guard but it's funny to you and bam

you make a bet to see how many people you could shove

he would def pick you up "so you could see better"

those hands wander.....

shove him off cuz he's bein' a tease & you make your way to the front just to get on his nerves

⋆˚࿔ ryan dunn ✰

lowkey you guys accidentally got to a concert

he took u to a bar & they happened to have a pretty popular band playing

he won't stand next to you in the crowd he has to stand behind you

hand on your waist at all times

silent listener type bro thinks when he's listening to music ok

claps after every song

a couple more drinks & he'll hoot & holler though

listens to the lyrics & anytime he hears the word love he'll kiss the top of your head

takes both your arms to make you "dance"

goofy af & you roll your eyes but man that sideways smile & the way those eyes r looking at u omfg u would not trade your place for anything

⋆. 𐙚˚࿔ frankie's masterlist 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ jackass cast x bartender! reader -> jackass cast walk into a bar....

⋆˚࿔ jackass cast x reader taking you to a concert -> knoxville, pontius, bam, dunn

more coming soon...

type of writing: headcanons / scenario

word count: 833

potential warnings: alcohol mentioned ayyyyyy #bar lowk getting drunk ya

request: yes / no

a/n: HI EVERYBODY i am new to writing for jackass so hopefully this is cool i had this idea for a lil bit & i feel like it's kind of a flop like more of a proof of concept thing but the heart is there i hope u can tell i love them. i j wanted to get smth written lol plus i feel like i can use this preimse l8r.... hm.... anyway i would love to take requests so feel free to send them in whenever :) headcanons, scenarios, nsfw, sfw, WHATEVA!!!!

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karaoke, seven nights a week.

that was half the reason you took the job. that & you were a damn good bartender. the amount of time it took you to click play on a track was the same amount of time it took to slide a couple shots across the bar, and that was that. you had seen all there was to see. a woman in a microscopic dress doing the best metallica impression (guitar included) the world had ever seen, an eighty year old man with a cane bringing the house down with “everything’s comin’ up roses”, a heartbroken frat boy wailing out a painful “wild horses”... every day was different & it took a lot for you to be caught off guard.

you weren’t startled when the door banged open loudly enough you could’ve sworn it came off the hinges. the loud swearing had no effect. but you would be lying if you said it wasn’t something new to turn around and see them… a group of ragtag characters led by a lanky guy in a tight yellow t-shirt that said “ask me about my chevy” paired with dark sunglasses who was making a beeline right for you. he leaned right over the bar, propping his chin up with his hands as an easy smile tugged at the side of his mouth. 

“hiya honey.” was all he could get out before he was physically shoved to the side by another man, smudged eyeliner accentuating eyes that could only be described as a puppy dog. “ignore him. i gotta ask y–” a hand came down on the scruff of his shirt and you watched as he tried to fight the fall. “heard you have karaoke.” came the even tone of the man who had shoved him down, sandy blonde hair falling into his eyes, beard clipped close around his jaw. you opened your mouth to reply, but were interrupted by the loudest screech known to man. out from behind the bar you ran to snatch the microphone out of the hands of a guy dressed in full tracksuit and bunny ears. “sorry… sorry…” he repeated, genuinely looking frightened. “sorry.” he said again, into the mic when you handed it back to him. “don’t put your mouth so close to it.” you laughed, and he melted in relief, nodding. his eyes were so twinkly you didn’t have the heart to tell him you had actually turned it off. as the beginning of “i wanna dance with somebody” boomed over the speakers, you heard a voice behind you. “i know something you could put your mouth close to… ow!” it was the chevy guy, and he was rubbing his cheek where the blonde one had popped him. “sorry. dunn here ‘s learning how ‘ta be gentle.” the blonde… dunn… rolled his eyes. “and pj’s learnin’ how many beers is enough. let’s say he’s still figurin’ it out.” met with laughter, you could tell all these guys were friends, so you didn’t have to tell ‘em to quit the crazy behavior… yet. besides, there was nobody else in the bar. might as well be entertained.

it was the most fun you had ever had, and that was saying a lot. everyone came over to introduce themselves and to flirt… er … “order drinks and introduce themselves”. they were charming, albeit strange. it was a level of weird you enjoyed matching. you helped weigh in on everything from which tattoo bam was getting next (you suggested a zebra right over his eyebrow), what print pontius’ next speedo should be (glittery red hearts, bedazzled of course) to whose bruise was bigger (definitely ehren’s). anytime the door swung open & someone started to walk in, they very quickly left, not able to match what was going on in there. that and you had to admit the sounds of one pj clapp doing a one-man beastie boys discography run-through was not exactly welcoming. 

in the couple hours since they had come in, you truly felt you had made a connection with these guys. and little did you know, they felt that too. which is why, when your shift ended and your replacement came behind the bar, you ended up getting blocked from the door and led kindly but firmly over to their table, where the drinks were flowing and your eyes were shining like theirs. they had you doubled over in laughter, shoving each other off stools & cracking jokes til you couldn’t breathe. they kept swapping who got to sit next to “the hot bartender” & they did NOT hold back.

the next morning, you almost felt like it was a dream, as if they were figments of your imagination…. that is, until you got to work the next day & heard the door slam open, loud swearing accompanying a group of guys who immediately rushed to sit right in front of you, eager to tell you about their long day, show you their bruises, and hopefully end up buying you a couple drinks…