diviningjade

Qingque's face twists into one of concern as she leans further in, marveling in how sunken into the mess of papers on his desk he is. "Mm, I don't know if I should be impressed or concerned, Mister Sims. You look like if a vidyadhara merged with a bearskin carpet." Her eyes trace his back in a path reminiscent of an over-exaggerated bell curve graph.

"A bother?" She walks back to, ah, what was his name again? Jango's–Jordan's–Jack Sickolis's– side. "I'm quite hurt, Mister Sims." A grin graces Qingque's lips. "I'm only a bother on company time. In fact–" She pulls out her cell phone. "I've come here with a plan for you!"

She turns on her cellphone, her eyes trained on the screen. "So, I've been noticing that your social life, is, for a lack of better wording, absolutely atrocious. But you know what isn't?" She points the screen at him, revealing a photo of a man with glasses. "The demand for men wearing glasses!"

Qingque nods, a wide smile on her face. "Yep, that's right! We're gonna get you Interastral famous!" She pauses. "Or whatever social platform of your choice... famous." Qingque's arm flies to his shoulder, shaking it. "C'mon, Janice! Let's do it! If you're going to have eyebags, at least monetize the visual appeal of it!"

It'll be fun for me as well, Qingque thinks, though she doesn't want the smile on her face to get even wider than it is now, lest Jon deny her "genius" plan.

“Mmpgh…” With a bit of a struggle, Jon drearily lifts his head to look at whatever Qingque is showing. Despite his glasses, he still needs to squint to see the screen. Even though Qingque had switched them on, her cellphone seems to illuminate his face more than the dimmed and yellowed archive lights ever could.

The video itself is of some TikTok star in a pair of stereotypically nerdy glasses, dancing in a skirt just a few inches too short. Jon’s eyes scan the whole video, darting all around. It’s like you’re showing your mom a thirst trap, he gives off the same feeling.

Is… is this one of those tick tock e-boys? F-boys? C-boys, even? I mean, he does have cat ears on. Do people call cat boys c-boys? Or is that for a cuck boy? That’s… oh fuck it, that’s not what matters right now.

“U… UAGH-! W… what the…“ He’s absolutely sputtering over himself. He pushes her phone aside, and gathers his words well enough for a resounding “NO.”

With his mind going 100 kilometers per hour, (not miles, mind you. He’s British after all), he’s unsure of how to respond. “Jesus, it’s ONE thing to show me an image with questionable background during work hours, but it’s another to suggest that should be ME!? What the bloody hell has gotten into you? NO. I AM NEARLY THIRTY, I AM NOT DOING THAT.”

He was standing up now. The 4 inch height difference was a defense mechanism rather than an intimidation tactic. After all, Jon was the intimidated one here. His entire personhood was actively threatened.

She puts the phone against her chest and laughs. “It works, doesn’t it? See, these types of TackTockers get millions of views and thousands of likes!” She says, butchering the app’s name with terrific efficiency.

“It can’t hurt to try, can it, Mister Jaundice? Thirty’s not terribly old. Honestly, compared to some of the 200-year-old Foxian ladies I’ve met during my work, you’re not too bad-looking. Although,” she steps back and angles her fingers into two L shapes before holding them up like a camera frame against Jon’s weary face. “You might need to comb that hair before we start recording.”

[TEXT] - please just call me back.

[TEXT] - i’m sorry.

[TEXT] - so this is my number, but don’t save my name as anything sketchy.

[TEXT] - i’m making dinner tonight, you should come over.

[TEXT] - WHERE ARE YOU????

[TEXT] - you’re LATE.

[TEXT] - can we talk? 

[TEXT] - how did it go?

[TEXT] - you’re gonna laugh, but can you pick me up at the police station?

[TEXT] - thinking about you…

[TEXT] - i miss you so much.

[TEXT] - i have an idea, probably gonna get us in trouble though.

[TEXT] - i know you’re awake! pick up the phone! 

[TEXT] - so you’re just gonna ignore me forever? 

[TEXT] - i’m at taco bell you want anything? 

[TEXT] - are you awake?

[TEXT] - i have good news and bad news.

[TEXT] - how are you? 

[TEXT] - new phone, who is this? 

[TEXT] - wanna come over? 

[TEXT] - what’s wrong with you?!

[TEXT] - you only call me when you’re drunk. 

[TEXT] - me, you, a bad movie. you in? 

[TEXT] - wanna bang? [TEXT] - hang* [TEXT] - whatever

[TEXT] - i’ll seduce you with cool scientific facts.

[TEXT] - are you still alive?

[TEXT] - we are sophisticated adults ok?  [TEXT] - last week i purchased a vegetable

[TEXT] - i will not hesitate to strangle you

[TEXT] - what are you doing this weekend? 

[TEXT] - can i come over? [TEXT] - because i’m in your driveway.

"geez, why is it so dark in here?" the lights in the room flick on with a click of a switch. qingque sneaks up to the man hunched over his desk, before leaning over his shoulder. "mister jango, that can't be good for your eyes." her gaze flickers over to his posture. "–or your back."

This is why at Qingque’s “Jango,” Jon crumbles overtop his keyboard at very beginnings of conversation, already not caring for the basic social etiquette to meet her eyes.

His voice came out as muffled due to his own face-down defeat, “My bloody sight and posture are fine, leave them well alone. If you’re simply here to be a bother, you may also take your leave.”

Qingque's face twists into one of concern as she leans further in, marveling in how sunken into the mess of papers on his desk he is. "Mm, I don't know if I should be impressed or concerned, Mister Sims. You look like if a vidyadhara merged with a bearskin carpet." Her eyes trace his back in a path reminiscent of an over-exaggerated bell curve graph.

"A bother?" She walks back to, ah, what was his name again? Jango's–Jordan's–Jack Sickolis's– side. "I'm quite hurt, Mister Sims." A grin graces Qingque's lips. "I'm only a bother on company time. In fact–" She pulls out her cell phone. "I've come here with a plan for you!"

She turns on her cellphone, her eyes trained on the screen. "So, I've been noticing that your social life, is, for a lack of better wording, absolutely atrocious. But you know what isn't?" She points the screen at him, revealing a photo of a man with glasses. "The demand for men wearing glasses!"

Qingque nods, a wide smile on her face. "Yep, that's right! We're gonna get you Interastral famous!" She pauses. "Or whatever social platform of your choice... famous." Qingque's arm flies to his shoulder, shaking it. "C'mon, Janice! Let's do it! If you're going to have eyebags, at least monetize the visual appeal of it!"

It'll be fun for me as well, Qingque thinks, though she doesn't want the smile on her face to get even wider than it is now, lest Jon deny her "genius" plan.

for all the muses out there who like to mess with others!! mainly meant for platonic relationships, but can be used for romantic & antagonistic relationships as well! feel free to modify any pronouns, descriptor words, & objects for your needs!

FROM THE LITTLE SHIT.

words. ❝ how'd you like the fake spider in your room? ❞ ❝ hang on a second, i'm gonna record this — ❞ ❝ i took 20 bucks out of your bag last night. ❞ ❝ alright, that's it, time for the tickle monster treatment! ❞ ❝ oh, yeah? and what are you gonna do about it? ❞ ❝ i think i might have accidentally just hurt myself again. ❞ ❝ what makes you think you can possibly take me? ❞ ❝ outta the way, i was here first! ❞ ❝ sorry, i lost that a little while ago. ❞ ❝ hey, come on! it was just a prank! ❞ ❝ i'm seriously thinking about forcing that secret out of you. ❞ ❝ wait, did YOU say you wanted the last piece of pie in the fridge? 'cause i kinda just ate it ... ❞

actions. [ SING ] — sender starts singing raunchy lyrics around receiver [ WRESTLE ] — sender attempts to start play-fighting with receiver [ FINGER ] — sender flips receiver the bird [ LAUGH ] — sender tries to make receiver laugh [ LEAN ] — sender puts their full weight on receiver [ COLD ] — sender puts their cold fingers under receiver's shirt [ DRIVE ] — sender begins to drive very fast with receiver in the car with them [ FOOD ] — sender steals a bite of receiver's food when they're not looking [ BLANKET ] — sender pulls receiver's blanket off them while they're half-asleep [ PRANK ] — sender pulls a prank on receiver (bonus points if a type of prank is specified!)

FOR THE LITTLE SHIT.

words. ❝ hey, stop that! ❞ ❝ careful, i just got that new furniture. ❞ ❝ okay, okay, i'll do anything, just please stop tickling me ... ! ❞ ❝ god, you're such an asshole! ❞ ❝ i swear, if you do that one more time ... ❞ ❝ i didn't actually think it was that funny. ❞ ❝ aw, dammit, you broke it! ❞ ❝ you can't go 24 hours without having some kind of accident, huh? ❞ ❝ you just cheated! i watched you! ❞ ❝ if you even think about messing with me today, i will end you. ❞ ❝ are you drunk or something? because that was some of the weirdest shit i've ever heard. ❞ ❝ okay, i won't lie, that was actually pretty funny. ❞