fuck bitches get money

Me: I hate myself Someone else: don’t say things like that!! Me: k Me: *still hates myself but keeps quiet about it*

he’s trying to use a fucking Tide pen

“Did I stutter?”

I feel like Robert Pattinson auditioned for Twilight as a joke and then when he got the part he decided it would be funny to take the joke even farther and now he hates himself for doing it.

my mom finally bought a toaster

why did this get notes

we’re happy for you

its just a toaster

it’s been three years since i made this post. stop congratulating me on the toaster! stop asking me how the new toaster is doing!! i don’t know!! i haven’t lived with my mom in almost a year! i haven’t seen that toaster in months!! she might even have a new new toaster now!!! who knows!? not me!

someone give this dude a medal

Bhahaha truth👌

Am I the only one who actually thinks burpees aren’t that hard lol. Now pushups… those are a different story