silly fictionkin blog

helloo you can call me N! or Critter, though N is preferred here lol. I use He/they pronouns! I am a young adult.

hiii lol ^^

1 (what's your main kintype): I don't know whether it would be N or my cat type! Because N is the most prominent since discovering but my cat kintype is so deeply a part of me and my identity and has been since waaay before learning about alterhumanity. I pretty much always feel like N but I often feel like N who is a cat (or whatever other type I'm most shifted too in that moment). So yeah both of those :3

2 (when did you awaken as an alterbeing): a few years now I think. I had kinda heard about alterbeings (specifically otherkin) around 2020? but was in my "repressing my 'furry-ness'" phase, so I didn't really think too hard about it. 2023 was when I made some friends who were alterhumans/furries and actually realized that was me! Though I have literally always considered myself a creature, from as little as like two years old all I wanted to do was "pretend" to be an animal. Refused to not bark when speaking for a few years as a small child. so yeah, around 2023 but I've known I'm not just a human for almost my whole life.

It's very funny being “the dog guy” in canon/fandom but I'm actually known for my love of cats irl!! Like i love cats to the level canon/fandom me loves dogs

And I was very much a dog person as a kid! Which is why I like that manor N likes dogs. Past me liked dogs in “both universes”! (And I do still love dogs lol)

But then I read Warriors at a formative age and now I'm waaay more of a cat person. And way more of a cat! I do have an equal amount of canine and feline types (2 each lol) but I'm muuuch more strongly connect to my feline types. My canine types might be closer to link or heart types than otherwise.

The blood and oil of hundreds is on my conscience, but my hands are clean. I've killed many but I feel little remorse because it was never real to me. Even at the time those I was killing weren't "people" to me, they weren't real, and now still those I've killed are fake, fictional, background characters. I will never be able to atone for what I've done because it never happened. I rarely feel guilt about it, and when I do, it's again, through a layer of disconnect. What does that make me.

And other times I'm like:

like idk, maybe it's kind of obvious because my memories were wiped. But I got some of those back, right? But the thing is we don't see everything I remember of my life in the show, and I don't really experience memories currently. So like... so much of that is just... gone.

Not only was it wiped from me at the time, but I clearly struggled with memories in canon even when I do get them back, and now that I'm in "human" form almost everything that isn't shown to me is just gone. Wiped from my code then and forgotten as "just fiction" to me now. And that kind of sucks.

They are so much better than most of the gear I've got and I'm like awhh man! C'mon that's me! I should have the cool stuff!