Dirty Prayers

I think we all collectively understand the anime AU of Ultrakill. Gabriel is agreed by the fandom to be the Class President and/or the Student Council leader, V1 and V2 are usually machines that skip out on school, and so on and so forth.

We wouldn't have it without (2-S: All Imperfect Love Song), which introduces the character Mirage in a school-romance visual novel that draws on anime tropes. But I always wondered what the other machines, husk, demons, Prime Souls, and Angels would be like in this theoretical anime and I've come up with some ideas to share.

Do you think Gabriel gets sick like birds? I think he would, since birds naturally hide their sickness so as not to seem weak. I would expect Gabriel to fight through his sickness— going as far as to not get medication even if it's as simple as a stomachache.

I mean, every sickness to Gabriel would seem like a test from God, wouldn't it? Which to him might seem weak to get medicine, yet in the same breath would advise others to take breaks and rest.

Maybe they don't even get sick because the holy light 'supposedly' is stronger than anything, since it's God's blessing, but we know how much of a contradiction that is, given that V1 beats Gabriel.

So let's say he does, and when he is sick, his wings are a clear indicator of whether he is or not. Also, a loss of appetite or changes in voice—hell, even just standing still for too long can be a sign, but since these are such small signs, I believe it would be nearly impossible to know for sure.

Mmm... Mac and Cheese...

I want... Gabriel to make a pot of mac and cheese when I'm sick... or drunk... Just fill it with shredded cheese and spices so it's full of flavor...

🤤🤤🤤 Mac and cheese...

Building on my last post about the joys of tinned fish, mussels, and mackerel, I would like to highlight the great accounts that effectively made my mouth water with their presentation of the meal. It was a great pleasure to see their work!

[These are all on TikTok!]

Starting off with: TinnedFishReviews.

Don't be fooled by the hat-wearing duo of a well-dressed man in a suit and his lovely dog; rather, be charmed by the attention to detail of each review. The plethora of fish-themed forks, plates, or even just the fact that the dog is named Arthur and wears a crown at times.

Very silly vibes from this creator and I'm all for it!

Next is: Mei or by her handle name: @daywithmei

Mei is the first content creator I followed specifically for the tinned fish and the quality of film she was doing. The way she films seems very much inspired by vibrant retro vibes, and I'm all for it.

But the difference is that Mei pairs her tinned fish with a multitude of foods to really highlight the flavors. Crackers, bread, rice, beans, pasta, you name it, I'm sure she's done it. She also sources her fish from across the world and goes into great detail of the packaging of the tin as well!

Lastly, there is one I just found recently: Kyrik or @Kyrik.co

Kyrik is also different from the previous content creators, as he gathers his friends to try out fish, rate them, and examine the flavors, and honestly? It just feels very homey and well-paced. The background music fits, and it's just overall a good page to look at!

That's all!

So—

I've been on tin fish TikTok, and I genuinely mean it— like the whole nine yards.

Salmon, tuna, mackerel, squid, even— god damn fucking eels drenched in their own ink! I've been seeing these aquatic animals dripping with delicious olive oil, thick garlic sauce, tomato paste, chili oil, and more. These are usually served with lemon juice, on slices of bread, or on special toasted crackers with sea salt.

It's been a small obsession, and I can not help myself when I say I think Gabriel Ultrakill, before he was used as a pawn of the Council, would've loved the care made into these showcases of edible fishy art. Yes, the smell is off-putting, but you can't fight the claim that these delicious cans of the sea wouldn't intrigue Gabriel just a bit if you placed them on a spread of cream cheese and bread.

It's a delicacy and I won't take no for an answer when I'm this hungry!

I LOVE HYDRATING MY SOUL!

SO I'M GONNA RAMBLE ABOUT (soft) COMPETITIVE GABRIELLL

Gabriel, who will allow other angels to talk him into drinking as a celebration for the few times he's free from work. Gabriel, who sees others playing drinking games at the bar and gets interested enough to ask, before slowly getting hooked into throwing back shots.

Well— "throwing back shots" is more like sipping it from a straw really quickly but still.

One drink goes down easily without issue; the taste is repulsive, but Gabriel can't deny the masses when they look so happy to see him loosen up. More drinks come, and more drinks flow down.

Some people back out; some are still chugging along like it was a normal Tuesday, simply acting as if they were winding down a hard day with a drink; Gabriel is wondering how his head can feel so light. He's barking out laughs at jokes he would have usually just politely chuckled at, someone dances near him in euphoria, and he can't help but mirror it from his seat.

Shots go in and out, and Gabriel has to stop for his own sake even though a part of him wants to party more. He hasn't partied like this in years, and he misses it so.

The headache that will surely come for him will kill him, but he will regret none of it.

(I can't color code the stuff rn cause— drinking but I wanted to write this before I continue doing my drinks! Love yall for 100 likesss!)

I believe that if you were to get Gabriel into movies, you'd have to start with something that has a very compelling story but not fast-paced. He's been alive for thousands of years and probably heard of every interesting story from other angels looking for his approval.

And yes, while it is different to see the story play out, I feel like he would see it the same way as theater. But depending on how good his knowledge of non-lethal machinery is, I also think he might be a bit (disappointed/sad) impressed by how machine-heavy humanity is.

So I think movies like The Count of Monte Cristo or Enola Holmes, with formal speech, would be good for his understanding. Maybe work up to like movies like Moulin Rouge or even theater works like Hamilton.

I also like the thought of Gabriel dressing up for theater/opera shows, like real fancy outfits that really complement Gabriel's physique and style.

When I find Ultrakill OCs, I often see angels and robots alike, which is totally cool. I have a robot OC as well. I can't talk. But I can hand out suggestions for OCs I think would really stand out that I have tried to make, but I couldn't get anyone to draw them.

(I commission people for art.)

Warning, dark themes below.

So I'm a little tipsy and happy, so you know what that means?!

Adoring thoughts about Gabriel also drinking!

I love the thought of this really strong and kind angel drinking through a straw that's connected to this very dramatic drink, you know— sliced fruit, edible glitter, sugar rim— the whole nine yards. Or even in a more serious manner, just a cup of wine or a Cocktail— something that makes him look more professional in front of guests.

But oh, how I long and yearn to see what Gabriel actually is like when drunk. Is he loud or quiet? Does he ramble endlessly and/or does he giggle at nothing? Does he let loose and entertain dares?

Does he let his words flow without restraint, cursing or speaking the truth wholeheartedly?

Or is he a crier?

God, I wish I knew.

I think it's fair to say that if one was to be in a relationship with Gabriel, massages would be a big show of affection. Seriously, think of all that armor, and although Gabriel's wings are translucent, I personally think that they do have some weight to them as Gabriel is slightly hunched over during each interaction V1/the player has with him.

(Which tells me that Gabriel is subconsciously balancing his weight by leaning forward. Or— you know, bro is just fighting.)

Either way, not the point.

My point is that the armor and wings have to lead to some crazy bad back pain. I think Gabriel would need someone willing to ease the tension in his back for him and just simply let him— silently— wind down from being the Judge of Hell and back into himself.

Gabriel, an Archangel and mentor to the Powers. A caring and compassionate angel who's being worked to the bone and who's saved sinners who can never be accepted into heaven; killed thousands more I mean— just give bro a break already.

Give this man a spa day, please.

[From within my note app.]

I like the idea that Gabriel enjoys all kinds of animals and, as an Archangel, is good at taming even the most predatory ones, like tigers, hyenas, and orcas. Which is always a funny thought when considering how Gabriel would show his affection for such a large animal.

Just imagining Gabriel holding an adult tiger to his chest like a stuffed animal and even rubbing his face against it... So cute.

But a thought that comes more naturally is him petting bunnies or even going to a bunny Cafe. I love the mental image of Gabriel sitting on the floor, absolutely covered, head to toe in little bunnies chewing on stray hay straws or fixing their fur with their little paws. All while Gabriel is sitting there in bliss.

I think there should be more love for soft and kind Gabriel; give the man a break.

Back when I was writing Ultrakill fanfics on AO3, I had to write in side characters who wouldn't take up too much of the story but would still make it feel alive and more realistic. And during that time, I went and used actual angel names mentioned in the Bible/Book of Enoch/Old Testament and studied what I could.

(You'd think as a kid who used to go to church would actually know any of the stories in the Bible, but nope! I was just there for the snacks and toys.)

So here is an interesting fact about angels that could relate to Gabriel if you ever decide to write fanfics too.

Angels who rebelled against god (which were called 'the Watchers') and procreated with human women would have giant offsprings called Nephilim.

Also, these angels who rebelled in such a way are also widely regarded to this day— as fallen angels due to the fact that they had lusted.

Which basically means that if you get freaky with Gabriel and don't use protection, the offspring will be a genuine giant called a Nephilim, and Gabriel will become a fallen angel.

(But of course, you are allowed to just—not write that, too. Do what you want and have fun. Also, I am not an expert on religion, so if I got anything wrong, let me know, and I can easily fix the mistake.)

I've always wondered, in general, about the different blood types in Ultrakill. Like, do you think that certain blood types, like Type O, are more sought out by machines that are looking to refuel?

Would that mean there would be grades of blood, kinda like Diesel vs. Gas and Premium Gas? Or would it be more like an oil change?

Hell, since entertaining the Terminals by killing in sicker, cooler ways is the way to earn money in hell... do you think, in a different au, Terminals allow you to fuel up for a price? Could you imagine a Streetcleaner talking to a Mindflayer about blood prices going up like if they were at a gas station?

Streetcleaner: "I just can't seem to get enough trickshots with my flamethrower... I can only fill up halfway cause of these ridiculous prices!" And they lightly kick the Terminal before them in frustration.

Mindflayer just chuckles as they watch the Terminal screen up the blood prices in real time in retort to the kick.

Streetcleaner: Pain.

[From within my note app.]

All I'm thinking about rn at 12 AM is Gabriel sitting in front of a 20-pound seafood boil with a plastic apron covering his chest... but the sauce is everywhere, his hand is holding his stomach as he spreads out on the booth, and he's tired from all the food he ate.

I know that room smells like butter, spices, and gluttonous regrets.