hope i never get that crazy.

“i’m buying clothes for slinky and cricket,”  he explains, turning his laptop over so that he could show her. “look!! it says that it’s a dragon costume - but if i put it on slinky it’ll look like reptar, right?” phil grinned at his fake girlfriend as he waited for an answer, beyond excited already at the thought of getting to dress his new pets up in the handmade outfits he’d found online. @mizzprouds

“we’re twins though,” he points out, as if that should be all the argument that he needs. because in phil’s mind being twins meant that if one of them was basic then obviously the other one had to be as well. because they’re twins... right? that’s just basic math of how being a twin works. @devillelil

chip skylark could handle just about anything the media threw at him. he’d spent the bulk of his career reminding the world he was more than just the toothtunes guy. he’d spent his entire teenage life being relentlessly picked apart by adults for cheap laughs on late night talk shows whose ratings were quickly plummeting. he’d navigated a media storm amidst a breakup with his first love. a sex tape scandal, a corn maze fight, vicious rumors of a love…square (?) – chip skylark could handle anything. apparently, jello would be his breaking point. “yeah.” he lies easily, though it’s not necessarily all that convincing. he just doesn’t want to upset phil, knowing full and well how much his best friend seemed to like jello despite his bandmates insistence that it was terrible. “huh?” chip finds himself asking phil for clarification a lot, often caught off guard by the things he has to say. lifting his head off his pillow he stares at phil for a long moment, brain working overtime to piece together what exactly is happening here. it doesn’t take long – and naturally, chip frowns, caught between being tired and finding phil’s cluelessness kind of charming. “no. the label never releases anything without telling you first – there’s artwork photoshoots, meetings about radio impact dates, a radio press tour, scheduled performances. there’s no way your label can surprise drop a song on you. jello was leaked…that’s why sarah’s been on the phone for like the whole day.” though he doesn’t put it past the label to have leaked it themselves out of frustration with how things were moving so slowly – it wouldn’t be the first time a record label sabotaged their own artist with a leak.

there’s a lot for phil to unpack in a brief moment there. first and foremost is his concern for the answer chip tires to feed him - a barely believable lie that he sees right through. but before he can really comment on that, chip is listing off all the things that should have come before jello released. it’s something that anyone with even the most basic of knowledge for the music industry would already know, but well... it’s been long ago established that phil knew nothing regarding what it actually meant and took to be in a boyband. so hearing all of that, well it was a little overwhelming. they’d already done so much work on recording the song and then learning dance moves for the video, as well as the entire day of filming the video. he... he really had thought they were done now. “oh... is... is leaking bad?”

it isn’t all that surprising to her that chip was the one who’d offered to help phil in any way. all she knew about the pop star came from her little sister, and teri seemed certain that he was the sweetest thing to ever live – and the few days they spent together writing reggaeton lento, mel could kind of gather that herself. plus, phil and chip were already friends apparently. or they had a bunny together or something? mel wasn’t entirely sure, just knew that teri had explained it to her once and mel had been more focused on the fact that they named a bunny ears. “that’s alright, i don’t think teri really…thought this through.” though, she can hardly blame teri for creating challenging choreography. it was her job to push them – and when you’re told a boyband involving chip skylark and skip sparkypants would be performing with you, you just assume everyone can hold their own. “she’s going to rework some things, so it’ll get better.” she hopes. but mel doesn’t dare vocalize that part when she’s trying to lift his spirits. “you don’t know the words?” she shouldn’t be surprised at this point, and yet she finds herself staring at him dubiously. “like at all?” maybe that would be the first thing she helped him with. if there’s a momentary flicker of hope when the boy finally looks over at her, it quickly leaves her when he speaks. “i’m sorry?” she asks, not fully processing what exactly he’s talking about anymore. but as she thinks over what she said and his response, she frowns again. “oh….sweetie, that’s great. not really what i’m talking about, but great.” 

“is this what your rehearsals are always like?” he asks, a little afraid to hear the answer. phil hadn’t even thought through the fact that he’d ever have to perform in general, but if every practice was going to be like this he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to last long in this band. not that he was going to quit or give up... chances were higher he’d likely just die from exhaustion or get kicked out by the other boys. “wait - so this isn’t even going to be the real dance? she can just... change it on us?” he should be happy about that, because from the way mel was wording it it seemed like it will be easier - but the thought of having to learn something new after trying so hard to get this down wasn’t one he was excited for. “i don’t know spanish,” he says in defense of himself. “chip’s helping me but... it’s hard.” seeing mel frown in response to his previous answer only makes phil feel even worse. what had he done wrong now? he was certain he was an aries... “i don’t know the other ones - the moon and stuff. if that’s what you meant. i could probably ask lil though, if you really need that.”

“I don’t know, because dogs are dogs.” As much as he’d like to bring Corny with him most places, always enjoying the little guy’s company, there’s no denying that it’s just more acceptable to bring a dog than it is any other animal. He doesn’t make the rules, just tries to follow them for the most part. “A talking frog isn’t normal, Phil,” he reminds him with a heavy sigh, unable to believe it’s even a sentence that comes out of his mouth. “Having a frog friend is weird. That shouldn’t be something I have to tell you.” While he’s getting more used to this island as time passes, he still finds himself in complete and utter disbelief whenever any sort of magic is brought up as though it’s completely normal. “You don’t think?” Skip repeats with a frown, shaking his head as he watches Phil try to figure out the semantics of his fake relationship. Usually he minds his own business, trying not to judge Phil for that relationship or ask too many questions, but it’s painful to watch him flounder around as he figures it out. “Isn’t that something you should know, buddy?”

“Why does that matter?” he questions again, still not getting what the big deal was or difference between a dog and a hamster. If Phil had his own pet he’d want to take it everywhere he could. The only things that stopped him from bringing Ears around with him always was the fact that he wasn’t really his own bunny and well... it was a lot harder to carry around a rabbit than a hamster. “It’s weird but so is practically everything on this island.” One of his best friends has a fucking superpower now, so any and all bar for acceptable weirdness in Phil’s mind had very much altered. Which really was saying something considering he’d gotten used to Dil’s behavior over the years and never thought many of the things he himself did to be too unacceptably strange. “Is it?” he asks, unsure what exactly he was supposed to know or not know when it came to his relationship with Pacifica. “We aren’t actually dating - so wouldn’t it be weird to try being romantic with her? Or do you think she still expects it and is going to fake break up with me if I don’t?”

mel had felt bad for the boys the second they walked into rehearsal, knowing full and well that no matter what their interpersonal relationships with her sisters they weren’t fully prepared for this. teri ran a tight ship when it came to choreography, something she’s spent her fair share of time complaining about to layla, rex and hans – and mel was a trained dancer, so there was no way anyone with less experience under their belt would fair well. what she didn’t realize was that one of their members would be completely unprepared. she sits down on the floor next to him, frowning a little as she realizes his bandmates are all off in their own little worlds. “did no one prepare you for this?” she thinks it’s a little messed up, to say the least, but everything had happened so quickly with this song that maybe phil had gotten lost in the shuffle. “oh.” that’s when her tune changes, frown deepening as it dawns on her that phil probably has no real business being here at all. if he could hardly handle teri as a choreographer, he was in no way prepared for dealing with clio when it came to vocals. “ok. we can work on that too, if you want. whatever you need i’m here for you.” she adds, patting him on the arm in an attempt to reassure him. “i don’t think you have a solo so we can just focus on making sure you’re at least in the right key consistently. what are you a baritone? a tenor?” the second the question leaves her lips she realizes phil likely has no idea. “we can figure it out together if you don’t know.” 

at her question, phil shakes his head a little, still not removing his arm from over his eyes to look at her. though it sounded like she had gotten closer, maybe even moved to be right beside him. “chip and i started working out but... it hasn’t been anything like this,” he answers honestly. perhaps the boys had just expected that phil would know what joining the boyband entailed, but if that were the case they had all surely overestimated him and his ability to think things all the way through. because when he had agreed the only thing that had really been on the boy’s mind was the fact that he’d get to hang out with chip more, be paid for doing that, and gain the fame he’s always dreamt about. “i don’t have a solo. i... i don’t even know the words yet.” it’s probably not something he should be admitting, but it’s not like things could get worse than this moment right now? and if it mel was willing to help him dance, maybe she could try to teach him the actual song as well. at her next question, phil finally does drop his hand away from his face and look over at her. “no, i’m an aries.”

As much as he hates to admit it, Phil does have a point. “Yeah and everyone thought it was weird,” Skip admits, shrugging his shoulders. Unlike Phil, who never seemed to care what other people thought about it, Skip cared all too deeply. Even one person telling him it was a weird choice would be enough for him to keep Corny home in the future, but when he heard it from at least five people, it was an easy choice. “Wow, you remembered to go with your girlfriend? And the say romance is dead,” he teases, clasping Phil on the shoulder as an amused smile grows on his lips. Of course, living in the same house as Phil, he has some idea of how weird that relationship is. “I’m sure Ears will forgive you, though.”

“Why would they think it’s weird?” he asked, tilting his head a bit to the side in honest confusion. “Other people had their dogs - why would it be wrong for you to bring your pet?” Of course there was a big difference between bringing along a dog and a hamster, but as far as Phil was concerned they were basically the same thing. Maybe even a little better to bring a pet like Corny along since he didn’t get in anyone’s way. “Plus I’m pretty sure I saw the talking frog there too - so if it’s not weird for those guys to bring their little friend why is it weird for Corny?” Despite the fact that Skip was clearly teasing him, a grin grew on Phil’s face as well in return. “I’m not supposed to be romantic with her, I don’t think.”

Frowning as Phil stares at him, Skip takes a sip of his drink as he waits patiently to find out what it is that he wants. “Why the fuck would I bring Corny?” he scoffs, though he can’t actually be all that surprised considering he brought him to the winter festival it wasn’t such a stretch. After the fifth person commented on it though, Skip started to realize just how strange it was, electing to keep him at home this time. “He doesn’t know what day it is, he’s fine,” Skip shrugs, unconcerned. “I am surprised you didn’t bring Ears in a little tux, though.”

Raising his shoulders in a shrug, Phil doesn’t see why it seemed so ridiculous for Skip to have potentially brought along his pet to the masquerade. “You brought him to the festival,” he reminds his bandmate - as if that meant that Skip should just start bringing him to every event he attends. A small frown grows on his face as he realizes that Corny was at home without any extra special new year’s treats, and Phil makes  a mental note to pick up a good looking bug before he heads back in for the night to give to the hamster. “He was going to be my date but then I remembered I should probably go with Pacifica.”

chip looks over at phil, mild interest in his eyes as phil asks for his opinion on pictures. he’s initially prepared to have an actual decision to make, expecting there to be something vastly different between the two photos in question. but as phil scrolls between the two pictures chip’s brows furrow in confusion. “they’re basically the same.” he answers, looking between the photos and phil. “so whichever is fine.” chip’s just about to turn back to his own phone when phil continues speaking. “people commented on pictures of your girlfriend asking for pictures of….us?” it seems to go completely over phil’s head what exactly is happening here, but chip doesn’t miss it for one second. he’d spent half of his life in the industry, well aware of the way fandoms work and the seemingly small things that they latched onto. and being shipped with every single person he spoke to would always be weird – even weirder when they were his best friend. even worse when he knew the people who shipped him and phil would be the same people being ruthless to britney, teri or wendy; and soon enough paz too. 

“are they too similar to do both?” he asks, another question that he’s proposed to pacifica multiple times before when deciding what he should or shouldn’t post on his instagram. and usually phil’s not-girlfriend had opinions on that. looking up from his phone to shoot a grin at his best friend, phil just nods. “yeah - they said they wanted to see our selfies too. or asked why i was even bothering posting stuff with paz when people know we’re hanging out together too.” in reality the comments had asked why they weren’t just being open about the fact that they came together, but phil hadn’t fully read into exactly what that had meant. “but i figured i could post selfies with all you guys. ‘cause if they want some of you and me - they probably want to see the rest of the band, right?” though he wasn’t sure if he actually wanted to get a picture with 15 tonight - still a little weirded out that his older bandmate had come to the ball with his former sex tape partner that was younger than even phil was.

“Hi!” Paz said enthusiastically, wrapping her arms around his waist tightly before pulling away. She’d had more than enough champagne to be getting on with and felt extremely light and, well, happy. As far as things were going, the year was ending well. Dancing in a castle, delicious food and drinks coming and going like magic ( maybe it was magic ) and Pacifica was actually here with someone she liked. It was new. “A dance would be perfect. We have to show off our matching outfits,” she said as she took his arm with her own and glided out to the center of the room. 

When Paz greets him with a tight hug, Phil’s more than surprised but doesn’t hesitate in returning it, grinning down at her despite the confusion. It only takes a moment though for him to realize what’s going on - she’s drunk. At nearly every party they’ve been too since becoming an official not-real couple it’s been this way. Following her lead out onto the dance floor, Phil suddenly has the thought that maybe this isn’t that great of an idea after all. “Uhhh, should we maybe wait for a more upbeat song?” he asks, even though it’s a bit too late as they’re already in the center of the dancefloor and have likely gathered at least a few people’s attention. “I don’t really know how to dance like this.” Or in general if any of the boyband rehearsals had taught him anything.

“Sweet! I’m gonna start the first movie before we devour these suckers,” Lil joked as she could clearly see Phil eyeballing the plate of cookies. Walking up to the TV to turn it on and grab the remote, she wasn’t surprised that her brother was considering crashing for the night. She didn’t mind, of course, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t mess with him for a moment. “Hm, I’m not sure I’m gonna have the space for you to stay,” she shook her head jokingly. She used the remote to skip past the previews as she gave her brother a look like she had something on her mind. “But — I was gonna tell you, I was thinking about getting like .. a cat or something. To make the apartment feel a little less empty,” she admitted, glancing at Phil with raised eyebrows to see his reaction. Truthfully, Lil was more of a dog person, but she knew she didn’t have the time for a dog, and wouldn’t want to keep a dog cooped up in the apartment all the time. “What do you think?”

“Already turned my room into an at home gym?” he jokes back, knowing fully well that hadn’t happened. Or at least, Phil liked to think it hadn’t. After all, the living arrangement with the boys wasn’t permanent he was pretty sure, so chances were high he’d probably be moving back in here whenever the rest of the band decided it was time to move out or they had bonded enough. “Can I name the cat?” It’s the first reaction he has to the idea of his sister getting a pet to fill up the space he’d left behind. “What kind do you think you’ll get? What about a little orange one?” It’s probably not the type of answer that Lil was expecting, but at least it showed his enthusiasm for the idea.