Mess With The Deku, Get The Pecku

There was a girl on neopets a few years back who had a pet tick. She'd post pics of it in polly pocket playsets. I gotta find it again it sounds too fake

your email found me at the grocery store irl. that's crazy that you gave it little legs and everything. it walked right up to me. everyone was so scared one person screamed when i picked it up. i said it's okay you just do this kind of thing sometimes. while i was reading, its little legs were just sort of dangling in the air. someone asked me if it's alive and if holding it like that made it uncomfortable. i told them idk i just get the emails i don't send them.

Peeling the lid off of a yogurt and it's a big spiral staircase going down forever

this lettuce smells like dog

you bought dog lettuce

Your mamas so squeak shes either a leather shoe or the bad door or a mouse

*aims my rifle in the direction its pointing and fires into the tall grass*

bald guy wearing a bald cap. Do we know why?

Covering blowhole