As someone recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, one thing thatās been helping me grapple with the intense shame I have over all my āwasted potentialā is accepting that potential doesnāt exist and never did.
This sounds so harsh, but please bare with me.
I procrastinated a lot growing up. I still procrastinate today, but less so. And yet, I got good grades. I could write an A+ paper that āknocked [my professor]ās socks offā in the hour before class and print it with sweat running down my face.
I was so used to hearing from teachers and family that if I just didnāt procrastinate and worked all the time, I could do anything! I had all this potential I wasnāt living up to!
And thatās true, as far as it goes, but thatās like saying if Usain Bolt just kept going he could be the fastest marathon runner in the world. Why does he stop at the end of the race??
If ANYONE could make their top speed/most productive setting the one they used all the time, anyone could do anything. But you canāt. Your top speed is not a speed youāre able to sustain.
Now, Iāve found that I do need to work on not procrastinating. Not because the product is better, even, but because itās better for my mental health and physical health to not have a full, sweating, panicked breakdown over every task even if the task itself turns out excellently. Itās a shitty way to live! You feel bad ALL the time! And I donāt deserve to live like that anymore.
So all of this to say, Iām not wasting a ton of potential. I donāt have an ocean of productivity and accomplishments inside of me that I could easily, effortlessly access if I just sat down 8 hours a day and worked. Thereās no fucking way. Thatās not real. Itās an illusion. Itās fine not to live up to an illusion.
And if you have ADHD, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: you do not have limitless potential confounded by your laziness. You have the good potential of a good person, and you can access it with practice and work, but do not accept the story that you are choosing not to be all that you are or can be. You are just a human person.