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It also very specifically addresses a number of myths regarding teargas treatments in a way I think might be better than the CDC which doesn't really spend any of time on them. In activist circles, there's a lot of beliefs that get passed around and I think it's good to specifically address them.

Here's a link:

“It’s the nation that does not permit you to live.”

Chrystelle Saint Louis Augustin Issey Miyake F/W 1996

One, it’s important to remember that one person’s pain does not negate the other’s. In a lot of my relationships, if someone was feeling shitty, the other person would keep to themselves something on their mind and try to take care of the other person whether they were capable or not. You can both have a bad day at the same time, and one person does not have to take care of the other.

Two, you have to be careful about feeling the other person’s feelings. I think a lot of people get this confused with empathy, but you can learn to be empathetic without doing this. If you feel shitty because another person feels shitty or vice versa, you’re going to feel shitty a lot more than you have to.

This is just a short directory to explain, in one sentence or two, what these concepts mean, and what the use of each skill is by defining it.  Come to this page if you can’t remember what IMPROVE or DEAR MAN stands for, but don’t want to have to read the long post that introduced those skills on SBD.

See the DBT Skills Masterpost for posts that go into each of these skills or sets of skills in depth.

Mindfulness Skills:

Wise Mind: The Wise Mind is the balance between Emotion Mind and Logic/Reasonable Mind

Observe: Notice without getting caught in the experience.  Experience without reacting to the experience.

Describe: When a feeling or thought arises, or you act, acknowledge it with a description of the thought or action or sensation, etc.  Describe to yourself what is happening and label your feelings.

Participate: Enter into your experiences, act intuitively, be completely immersed in the experience, in the present.

Non-Judgmental: See, but don’t evaluate.  Focus on the “what” happened, not on what “should” or “should not” have happened.

One-Mindful: Focus on the moment–do one thing at a time and completely focus on what you are doing or whom you are with.  Let go of distractions.

Effective:  Do just what is necessary in a situation to achieve your goals.  Focus on what works, and direct your efforts there.  Act skillfully, because the more you practice acting skillfully, the more Effective you will become at attaining your goals.

Distress Tolerance Skills:

STOP:  Stop, Take a step back, Observe, Proceed Mindfully

TIP: Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing/Paired Muscle Relaxation/Progressive Muscle Relaxation (used to change your level of distress quickly)

Distract using Wise Mind ACCEPTS: Distract yourself with Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions, Pushing away, Thoughts, Sensations

Self-Soothe: Use the senses (vision, hearing, taste, smell, touch) to soothe your physical self in order to make your emotions less painful.

IMPROVE the Moment: Improve the moment with Imagery, Meaning, Prayer, Relaxation, One thing in the moment, Vacations, Encouragement

Pros and Cons: Examine the short term and long term pros and cons of acting and not acting on your urges/impulses using a chart.

Radical Acceptance/Reality Acknowledgement: Acknowledge what is, let go of fighting or denying reality.  Use TURNING THE MIND to commit to acknowledgement over and over again.

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills:

Clarified Priorities: What is most important to you in this interpersonal interaction 1) Obtaining your objective, 2) Maintaining the relationship, or 3) Maintaining your self-esteem/sense of self-worth

DEAR MAN: Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, stay Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate (used for saying “no” or asking for something; obtaining your objective)

GIVE: Be Gentle, act/be Interested, Validate, use an Easy manner (used for maintaining a relationship)

FAST: Be Fair, no Apologies, Stick to values, be Truthful (used to maintain your self-esteem/sense of self-worth)

Emotion Regulation Skills:

PLEASE: For reducing vulnerability, treat PhysicaL illness, balance Eating, avoid mood-Alerting drugs (as in street drugs or non-prescription drugs), balance Sleep, get Exercise

ABC: Accumulate Positive Emotions/Experiences: For reducing vulnerabilities in the Short Term: Do pleasant things that are possible now.  For reducing vulnerabilities in the Long Term: Make changes in your life so that positive events will occur more often.  This helps “build a life worth living for you.”

ABC: Build Mastery: Engage in activities that make you feel competent and in control.

ABC: Cope Ahead: Cope ahead of time with emotional situations.  Rehearse a plan ahead of time so that you are prepared to cope skillfully with emotional situations.

Opposite Action: Change emotions by acting opposite to current emotions/urges. Used for when emotions don’t fit the facts of a situation.

Check the Facts: Check out whether your reactions (emotional or behavioural) fit the facts of the situation.  Changing beliefs and assumptions to fit the facts can help you change your emotional reactions to situations.

Problem Solve: When the facts themselves are the problem, solving emotional problems consistently and effectively will reduce the frequency of negative emotions and increase your sense of competency in regards to dealing with these emotions/urges.