Closed

Hey everyone, so. My issue has been handled (yes, it took months.)

However, my PC was sent in a week ago to get fixed and apparently it's got a whole shitload of problems. Job issues. Car issues. My life is a mess. And... A hurricane is on the way. Nothing new there though.

This update is regarding something else entirely though. I wasn't on this blog, roleplaying for long. But I think I'm closing it. And I think it's for good this time. A lot of y'all don't know, and I guess I'm really typing this out for myself.

But I used to have an old blog called (kneeltotheplayboy) and I've been rping Tony since Iron Man 3 came out. Fellow rpers like @starkbirthed & @violetxsilverxstark have had to deal with my bullshit of opening a new blog. Dancing around on it for a couple of months. And then one issue or another, and I'm gone. It's happen what, three? Four times now? I think three.

And while my issues are very true and present. Once again, my life is a mess.

I also feel like that first blog broke me a bit. And Tony. It used to be a very popular blog and I got so overwhelmed with everything that I stopped. I opened it, seen 58 waiting threads on my drafts and would break down and close my laptop. At that time, I was so anxiety ridden and afraid of disappointment that I didn't know how to tell anyone "I can't roleplay with you right now, I've already reached my max sanity level but we can save this idea for the future." At the time, I thought that'd offend someone and I'd hurt their feelings etc.

Tony is someone that I won't ever lose muse for. Because unlike every other muse, where I hear them in my mind. I hear their responses. I can talk to them even. None of them quite feel like Tony. I gravitated to this character at a dark point in my life. A point where I needed him. I related to him. And it became quite clear, quite quickly that we were one in the same. (Minus the whole, genius intellect.) I don't think I hold the ability to even lose Tony as a muse. Because he's more than that. He feels like a second soul. Call me crazy. But it won't change what I know and have felt.

I don't want to stop roleplaying Tony. But I don't think I can do it in this fashion anymore. I know I'm hurting myself. I'm hurting Tony. And for all I know, I could be hurting these two partners I care so much about that I mentioned above. I think for Tony, I need something private and personal. I need something stress-free that is comfortable. I need selectives in something like Discord. Who are willing to do crazy and outthere crack/what if?... Plots. Or fluffy ones. Or one's that would crush your heart and soul. But mostly someone who can get crazy and weird... Idk.

I'd love to still continue things with @sliipstreamed & @evolvingheartisms

But idk if anyone would actually be willing to do things on there.

For Tumblr, however. I have more muses too. And I think I just need new adventures with new characters. Maybe I played Tony so long and so freaking much on multiple different types of media that... He needs to settle down a bit lol.

I think I need new adventures when it comes to tumblr. I wanted to try that with a Spidey blog. Because I love him so much and constantly have muse for him. But I feel the timing is... Awkward. To say the least.

But I have others too. I have a mutant OC named Asura. I loved Master Chief (Halo). Batman. Harley Quinn and Deadpool. I'd probably also be into McCree (Overwatch; lowkey crackship Mercy and Master Chief too oops), I can do Hela, Loki, Frank Castle and boi would I love to try more Killgrave. Also Muffet (Undertale) and I have an AU Ariel and Ursula. I just need something new I suppose. And I need to stop putting a shitload of stress and weight on my shoulders. So. Yeah. I suppose that's it. Sorry for it being so long.

If anyone (and yes, I mean ANYONE.) Is interested in my Discord. It looks like this;

You don't think I know it's 99.9% useless. Does that mean I should sit here and let a third family member die this year?

It's not about going "We have enough signatures. That means you have to give Disney full custody."

It's about sending a message to Sony.