dipp’s sipps

Q: Do you drink all your drinks yourself

A: usually no, I share it with everyone who is around me. These drinks have so much sugar I don’t wanna commit to an entire crappy drink.

Q: where do you get these drinks?

A: currently I go to fancier grocery stores than I usually go to (sorry, it’s a local place and I’m not doxxing myself) or local games stores/barcades that have these

Q: do you comprehend the level of consumerism you’re reaching from buying all these novelty drinks???

A: Capitalism is awful but I’ve gotta live in a society with it, so gonna buy my dinky little drinks I guess

Q: what do you recommend?

A: Jones soda (any flavor) or coffee

Q: are you a furry

A: yes, a common opossum

Q: who is running this blog?

A: dippinposs (dipp) they/them

Q: Will you proofread your reviews or use proper formatting/grammar?

A: no

Q; will the posting improve?

Aw hell yeah it’s got the shitty font that’s on the cans. They all look similar to the same non-alcoholic varieties, lemonade looks like the lemonade Arizona, and not the Arnold Palmer “. Green tea just looks like the regular can, flowers and all. Peach flavor looks the same, which is similar to the lemonade but peach colored and with peaches on em.

What’s not shown clear here is that the flavor distribution for the 12 pack is not 4-4-4 like you’d expect, but 6-3-3(?????) with lemonade having 6. Confident in lemonade I guess.

Peach flavor is really not good. I gagged when I drank it. Tastes like really cheap tea swamped with vodka. This is a little worse than twisted tea anything. Vodka with a splash of cheap peach syrup. Not a fan, didn’t taste much tea.

Out of the 3 other people that tried it with me, only 1 liked it, and only thought it was fine. I’m glad I know someone who likes these so I can give them mine when getting a 12 pack.

If I was looking to get really drunk, I’d probably resort to some of these in the back of the fridge, but honestly that’s almost never for me.

D-

Green tea is great. I wish there was a 12 pack of just these. These don’t smelly very boozy at all, and taste pretty much like regular green tea Arizona. The cheap sweater taste that’s in it hides the alcoholic bite, and this went down fast, probably too fast. I’m secretly kinda glad there’s only 3 in a 12 pack, these are a bit too easy to drink for me.

These I would caution to anyone young trying it, that this is deceivingly non alcoholic tasting and is incredibly easy to drink lots of. Like this could be too easy to drink more than you’d expect you can handle, and since it’s malt liquor you’ll have a horrible hangover.

Everyone (5) that tried it loved it. A favorite.

Damn. I’m not saying more without getting payed by Arizona

A+

Lemonade tea was pretty alright. I’ve never been a fan of the more common boozy teas in the store, especially twisted tea, so I was pleasantly surprised to find this to be pretty ok. This is kinda what I wanted out of twisted tea, it’s just “fine”. It’s got the normal Arizona lemon and tea flavor, just with a slight smell of vodka and a very mild bite. It still tastes like Arizonaso it’s not top of the line, but it’s good enough.

Everyone (5) thought it was alright, including those that don’t like boozy tea.

B+

The catch with these recommendations, is that if you don’t like Arizona iced tea, you most likely won’t like it.

Tastes less sweet than the other aloe drink I tried on here. The pulp is varying in shape and not the same cuts like the other one. Pulp is more akin to orange juice with pulp. $1.50 cheaper than the other one as well with a sugar content of 25g, which sucks by itself but relatively low for a sugary drink and especially of this size. Aloe taste is good, not too strong, and the sweetness is mild. Very refreshing and super easy to sip.

This is pretty dang good, especially for $2.

Nobody else with me likes aloe so I was alone in trying this but easily my favorite of the two.

This is pretty good and probably my favorite Mountain Dew flavor (not a big fan of Mountain Dew in general btw). It’s not too sweet and has a strong blackberry flavor. Does have a corn syrup taste to it but otherwise solid. It still tastes like Mountain Dew tho. I’m scared to look up the sugar content.

The other person who had it was a big fan. If you like Mountain Dew you’ll like this. If you don’t like mountain dew there’s a “chance” you might enjoy it

I went to a lock-in meetup and need caffeine but didn’t want to drink a straight up energy drink. So I did this

It tastes like non alcoholic Baileys Irish cream but sweeter. That’s it. Doesn’t feel any healthier than baileys. Has a slight cheap corn syrup taste. I think I’d drink baileys out of a can if they sold it.

If you’ve never had baileys before, it’s a creamy but slightly bitter drink that has a mild chocolate-y flavor (no idea if there’s chocolate in it, but there’s an illusion of one). It’s got a thick consistency similar to heavy cream. If you’ve never had baileys I do recommend trying it with coffee. With that in mind this turns out to be an alright can of coffee (though sweet like most monster drinks).

I didn’t give this to anyone else cuz I was driving.

I recommend this if you need caffeine but don’t like most energy drinks, but also for some reason don’t wanna just drink normal coffee.

A-

When I first drank this I didn’t like it. Then a week later had a craving for it and got some more. It has a yogurt aftertaste, specifically the blueberry gogurt aftertaste. It doesn’t taste like a sugar cookie at all but it does taste alright. If you’ve ever wanted to try yogurt soda this may be the flavor for you. It doesn’t have a cheap corn syrup aftertaste, but has a weird slightly sour aftertaste.

Other people were mixed on this. 2 didn’t like it and another liked it but only hesitantly.

I actually do recommend this one. It’s a weird one, but I don’t recommend getting a 4 pack

This is one of my favorite Arizona flavors, besides the black and white tea flavor. It doesn’t taste as sweet as the sugar content says (+30g), has a strong cucumber flavor, and is super refreshing. This is excellent. It’s still got a bit of that cheap tea taste all Arizona drinks have, but whatever I’m gonna fucking eat my slop.

Everyone who tried it loved it.

I recommend this if you eat cucumbers whole or enjoy that cucumber Gatorade.

This is really sweet, emphasis on the pineapple. Didn’t taste nearly as green or bitter as I was wanting it to, but it DOES smell very green. You can taste most of the fruit it says on the label, veering into overwhelming territory. It’s a tad thin for a smoothie, reminds me of creamy oat milk in consistency. I would’ve drank the whole bottle but it’s fucking +50g in sugar aaaaaaaaaaaa.

Nobody else who tried this with me liked it. I am alone on this barren earth

I recommend this if you like sweet drinks and are also in a Trader Joe’s. Do not recommend going just for this drink, and do not recommend if you don’t like really sweet drinks.

This is pretty good aside from the high sugar content (+30g). I was alarmed when I slurped a chunk of aloe but wow, it’s good. Very refreshing and reminds me of the Snapple Elements Rain flavor. If you’ve never had aloe before it tastes almost pear-like or cactus-y. A sweet taste that doesn’t have a strong initial bite and mostly mellows in your mouth after you’ve sipped it.

Nobody else wanted to try it so no 2nd opinions on this one.

I recommend this one.

Both of these are awful. I couldnt finish either. The skittles one I started drinking on the way back from the store and actually poured out out as soon as I stopped. They both have cheap carbonation flavor and that awful artificial sweetener bitterness. They’re 10 calories but have 200mg of caffeine holy shit oh my gosh what

The skittles flavor tastes like you boiled every favor of standard skittle in a pot and added a glass of artificial sweetener. It was an overload of flavor, and not a particularly good one. If you even vaguely thought zero sugar skittles could be good I’m sad to tell you you’re fucking wrong

I’ll be honest I poured this out before anyone else could try it because I knew the answer already.

F

The starburst cherry made me slightly less mad. It’s a tad sour like the starburst flavor, and kinda achieves the flavor (though still has everything I’ve mentioned before). You can definitely taste the caffeine, too. Each sip woke me up slightly. The tagline on the can is accurate, but in the wrong ways.

One person actually really liked this and asked for the entire can. They said they enjoyed the sour cherry taste and enjoyed it tasting overwhelming.

I do not recommend this unless you drink Mountain Dew daily and need a heart attack asap

This one was painful. Imagine the cheapest carbonation flavor mixed with cinnamon. There’s hardly any cream to this, but plenty of cinnamon (this part is fine actually). If you gave this to me I wouldn’t be able to identify it’s horchata. Felt like a complete waste of $3 and I poured this down the drain after it sat on the counter untouched by anyone for a few hours.

Everyone gagged and nobody went for seconds. Everyone said they never want to drink this again.

I do not recommend this drink at all, even for the novelty. Genuinely tastes bad. Maybe I’ll give it a few points for having a cute cover on the bottle.

F for flavor and actual drink

C for the cute label

This was surprisingly good. It tastes like orange soda but has a little of that zero sugar hollow taste. It’s not too sweet, too. Has a vague cheap carbonation aftertaste but that’s really not noticeable unless you’ve had several cheap carbonated drinks. Orange flavor is an in-between of soda and sparkling drinks, which honestly imo is great because I usually don’t want to commit to a soda but also didn’t want to drink a seltzer. The thing that amazed me the most was that this is only 20 calories. Fantastic.

Everyone who tried this drink with me enjoyed it, with almost everyone asking if there was a 12 pack available for purchase.

I do recommend this one. It’s actually surprisingly good.

The Hatch Chile and Lime flavor is really good, though I'm left wanting more heat. Its got "very mild" on the side (covered by my finger on the pic) and that's accurate. Its got the peppery crunch flavor to it with a really good lime soda flavor on top. I'm between really liking this and also not enjoying it. The sugar content is crazy on this, as is with all jones soda, tastes it, though I'd argue the sweetness balances the chile very well.

Everyone with me besides one person enjoyed this, though the rest agreed we wouldn't buy this again for a while. Nice novelty and I recommend trying this if you are lucky enough to find it

B+

I'm a citrus with chocolate hater so apologies in advance. This was alright. Tastes like really really good orange soda that also has specifically a herseys bar in it. I enjoyed the orange flavor but the hersey's-like chocolate aftertaste wasn't something that I enjoyed. There's no cheap carbonation or corny syrup flavors. I'm not a hersey's fan and almost exclusively eat Tony's Chocolate, so I found this to have the american chocolate aftertaste, which does not go well with soda imo.

Everyone with me who tried it was conflicted on this. We all liked the orange part but the aftertaste kept us all from drinking more. If you enjoy herseys chocolate I really think you'll like this one.

I like bazooka bubblegum, but always hated how short the flavor lasted (and the sugar gum part). Thought this would finally sate that craving I've had for more concentrated bazooka bubblegum flavor but alas, this was painful.

I know its supposed to taste like tutti frutti, but holy hell this just tasted like flavor overload, to the point that I could not identify the flavor from taste alone. It was significantly stronger than the bubblegum and just tasted sweet. The only similarity to the gum, besides the bottle's branding, is the awful chalky aftertaste in bazooka bubblegum.

I've never poured a drink I paid for down the drain faster in my life.

Everyone who tried this one gagged. Nobody liked it. It sits alone at the table. I recommend this to people you hate.

F-