Equipment

Donut baking pan

Cake pop or donut hole baking mold

Whisk

Ingredients

2 ⅓ cup flour

2-3 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice

1 Tablespoon baking powder

½ teaspoon salt

1 ¼ cup pumpkin puree

⅔ cup milk

⅔ cup brown sugar

½ cup oil

1 egg

2 teaspoons vanilla

Glaze

1 cup powdered sugar

1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice

3 Tablespoons heavy cream may need a bit more to thin glaze

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350F. Lightly grease donut pans (with spray, oil, or butter).

In a large bowl, whisk together flour, pumpkin pie spice, baking powder, and salt.

In a medium bowl, mix together pumpkin, milk, brown sugar, oil, egg, and vanilla.

Add about one third of the flour mixture to the wet mixture and mix well. Add remaining flour mixture, starting with the whisk, and once partially combined, mix with a spatula until well mixed.

Divide the batter between the pans, filling half way. I add to a large zip top bag, cut a hole in the corner and squeeze it in to the mold to keep things easy and neat (or use a piping bag).

Bake for 12-14 minutes or until donut springs back when touched.

Cool in the pan for 5 minutes, then gently turn out onto wire rack. Cool completely.

Glaze

Whisk together sugar, pumpkin pie spice and 2 ½ Tablespoons of the heavy cream. Add the remaining cream if the mixture needs to be a bit thinner.

Dip the top of each donut in the glaze and flip over. Touch up glaze if desired

Now that we have come into fall it’s time to start thinking about those comforting dinner recipes. Snuggling up on the couch with a nice bowl of hot soup and your favorite movie just sounds like the perfect fall night. So in honor of the autumn season we’ve rounded up our top ten favorite comforting dinner recipes for fall. So grab your coffee or tea, a pen and paper and start getting those grocery lists together! 

Pumpkin Turkey Chili (Slow Cooker)

Pumpkin chili is a staple during the fall season. Not only is it super comforting, delicious and easy to make but it’s perfect for making ahead of time and freezing. This is one dinner you and your family will want several times a week!

Ingredients:

Olive Oil (for cooking)

1.5 lbs Ground Turkey 

1 Onion, chopped

3 Garlic cloves, minced

1-2 Jalapenos (depending on how spicy you want it)

3 Anaheim or Poblano Peppers

1 Tsp Chili Powder or to taste

1 Pinch Mexican Oregano 

1 Tsp Ground Cloves

1 - 15 oz Can Pumpkin Puree

2 Bay Leaves

2 - 15 oz Cans of any type of White Beans

2 Cups of Low Sodium Chicken Broth

1 Bunch of Cilantro

Salt to taste

Sour Cream (for topping)

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 500 degrees F or use the broiler setting on your oven.

Place the jalapeño and poblano peppers on a foil lined baking sheet and place in the oven.

Broil until you start to see char, then flip. Keep flipping the peppers until all sides are charred. Once they are done, pull them out of the oven and place each pepper inside of a plastic bag and let steam for about 5 minutes. 

In the meantime, chop the onions and garlic and sauté until fully translucent, about 3-5 minutes.

Next add in the ground turkey, season with a little salt and pepper and cook until browned, but not fully cooked. You should still see some pink left over. 

Once the turkey is browned, pour the turkey and onion mixture into your slow cooker.

Take the peppers out of the bag, peel the skin off of them. Be careful, they’ll be pretty hot. After taking the skin off, cut off the stem, cut them open long ways and gently scrape out the seeds.

Cut the peppers in medium size pieces and place in the slow cooker with the turkey mixture.

Next drain one can of beans and pour both cans into the slow cooker. 

Then mince the cilantro and put half of it into the slow cooker. Pour in the pumpkin puree, add the chili powder, mexican oregano, cloves, a little bit of salt (you can add more in the last 30 minutes), bay leaves and the chicken broth. 

Give it a stir. Set to low and cook for 8 hours or 4 hours on high.

During the last 30 minutes, give it a stir and taste test. If you feel you need a little more salt, add the desired amount and let cook for the remaining time.

Once done, let cool for about 10 minutes and serve with some cilantro on top and a dollop of sour cream!

Guinness Beef Stew

A hearty beef stew served with a side of buttery mashed potatoes, how much more comforting can you get than that! This beef stew will warm your belly on a rainy fall day and let’s just say after tasting a bite there won’t be any leftovers.

Ingredients:

1-2 tbsp olive oil

2.5 lbs boneless chuck roast or cubed stew meat

3 garlic cloves, minced

1 onion, diced

5 slices bacon

3 tbsp all purpose flour

1 14.9 oz can Guinness or your favorite dark beer

4 tbsp Tomato paste

3 cups chicken broth

3 carrots, peeled and cut

2 celery stalks, cut

3 sprigs thyme

2 bay leaves

3 carrots

salt and pepper

Instructions:

Prepare a baking sheet or plate with paper towels. Cube the meat into 2 inch pieces and trim most of the fat, some fat is ok. 

Place the meat on the baking sheet and pat dry. Season well with salt and pepper.

Heat the oil in a heavy pot or dutch oven on high heat. Brown the meat in batches, set aside onto a baking sheet or plate and repeat.

Lower the heat to medium and add oil if the pot looks dry.

Next, dice the onion and mince the garlic. Cook them until translucent. Once fully cooked add in the bacon and cook until browned.

Cut the carrot into thick coins, cutting the large pieces in half and cut the celery in slices. Stir the carrot and celery in with the onion and bacon mixture, cook for 1-2 mins. 

Add in the flour and cook it out for about a minute. Then slowly pour in the Guinness, stirring into the flour until fully dissolved and there are no lumps. Stir in the chicken broth and tomato paste and add the thyme (without the stems) and bay leaves.

Add the meat back into the pot and give it a stir. Lower the heat to low, cover and simmer for 2 hours.

Once finished adjust the seasoning to your liking and serve with your favorite mashed potatoes!

Roasted Butternut Squash Soup

What speaks fall more than a butternut squash soup? This perfectly nutty soup will have you and your family all warmed up and cozy. Not to mention this soup is super easy to make and can be made ahead of time. Serve it as a main dish, side or appetizer! 

Ingredients:

1 lb Butternut Squash (about 1 large)

1 lb Acorn Squash (about 2 large)

1 Medium White Onion

2 Cups of Chicken Broth or more depending on the thickness

1 Cup Coconut Milk

Dash of Nutmeg

Salt and Pepper to taste

Olive Oil

Pepitas for garnish

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F. Line a large baking sheet with foil and drizzle olive oil over it. Cut the squashes in half, remove the seeds and place them flat side down. Rub each flat side of the on the baking sheet to cover with olive oil. 

Bake for 30-40 minutes or until tender with a fork.

In the meantime, dice the onion and cook in a large pot over medium heat until fully translucent. 

Once the squash is done, let it cool for about 10-15 minutes. Then scrape the squash off of the skin and place it in the pot with the onions.

Add ¾ of a cup of the coconut milk and the chicken broth to the pot and stir. 

With an immersion blender, blend the squash, onions, coconut milk and 1 cup of chicken broth until smooth. Add more chicken broth to thin it out as needed. 

Next season it with salt, pepper and nutmeg to taste.

Serve with a swirl of coconut milk and top it with a few pepitas!

Stuffed Acorn Squash (serves 4)

Stuffed acorn squash is one of those fall recipes that was made for a busy day. With a total time of about 45 minutes and hardly any prep work, you’ll be able to come home and whip this up in no time, all while it tastes like it took hours to make! It’s like the fall version of sloppy joes, but better.

1-2 Acorn Squashes

1 lb Ground Turkey

1 Small Onion, diced

Small Pkg. Whole Mushrooms, quartered

8oz Cooked Chestnuts, diced

1 Medium Apple, diced

1 Tsp Cinnamon

¼ Tsp Nutmeg

½ Tsp Cloves

1 Tsp Onion Powder

1 Tsp Garlic Powder

Salt and Pepper to taste

Optional: Sour cream or Turkey Gravy 

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 450 degree F and line a baking sheet with foil and drizzle olive oil over the top. Cut the squashes in half, remove the seeds and place them flat side down. Rub each flat side of the on the baking sheet to cover with olive oil. 

Bake for 40-45 minutes or until fork tender.

In the meantime, place the onion into a large deep skillet pan or pot and cook until translucent. 

Add the apples and cook until soft, then add the mushrooms and diced chestnuts and cook for about 5 minutes. 

Next add the turkey and break apart the meat until fully browned. Add in the cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, onion powder, garlic powder, salt and pepper and stir. Cook until the turkey is fully cooked

Once the squash is done, place each one in a bowl and add the meat mixture to each one. 

Top with sour cream or gravy and enjoy!

Roasted Corn Chowder

If you’re looking for a comforting creamy soup with a kick, you’ll love this Roasted Corn Chowder soup. It’s a bit spicy so if you don’t like spice, we suggest omitting the jalapeño. Either way you have it, it’s a perfectly delicious and creamy soup!

2 Tbsp Unsalted Butter

5 Slices of Bacon

1 White Onion, diced

1-2 Jalapeños (depending on your spice level)

2 Poblano or Anaheim Chiles

26 oz Frozen Corn

½ + ⅛ Cups All Purpose Flour

5 Cups Low Sodium Chicken Broth

2 Cups Water

½ Pint Heavy Cream

1 Cup 2% Milk

Salt and Pepper to taste

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 500 degrees F or use the broiler setting on your oven.

Place the jalapeño and poblano peppers on a foil lined baking sheet and place in the oven.

Broil until you start to see char, then flip. Keep flipping the peppers until all sides are charred. Once they are done, pull them out of the oven and place each pepper inside of a plastic bag and let steam for about 5 minutes. 

Take the peppers out of the bag, peel the skin off of them. Be careful, they’ll be pretty hot. After taking the skin off, cut off the stem, cut them open long ways and gently scrape out the seeds.

Cut the peppers in small size pieces and set aside.

Melt butter in a large pot over medium high heat. In the meantime slice the bacon into half inch pieces. Add the bacon to the pot and cook until crispy.

Dice the onion and remove the bacon from the pot with a slotted spoon. Lower the heat to medium low and add the onion to the pot and cook until translucent. 

 Once translucent, add in the corn and slightly roast until color appears on  the kernels.

Next add in the diced peppers. 

Sprinkle flour over the corn mixture and give it a stir. Let it cook for about a minute, then slowly mix in the chicken broth. After it is fully incorporated, add in the water, heavy cream, milk and cooked bacon. Taste and add salt as needed.

Raise heat to bring to a simmer and cook until thickened. About 30 minutes to an hour. 

Serve and enjoy!

Chicken Pot Pie

A meal that was made for warming your belly and comforting your heart! This creamy chicken pot pie with a buttery, flaky crust is perfect for a cold rainy day.

Pie Crust:

2 Cups All Purpose Flour + 1 Tbsp for rolling

1 Cup Cold Unsalted Butter, cubed

1 tsp Salt

1 tsp Sugar

6-8 Tbsp Ice Water

Chicken Pot Pie Filling:

⅓ Cup Unsalted Butter

⅓ Cup All Purpose Flour

⅓ Cup White Onion, diced

⅓ Cup Celery

Salt and Pepper to taste

1 ¾ Cup Low Sodium Chicken Broth

⅔ Cup Whole Milk

2 Cups Cooked Chicken, cubed

1 ¼ Cups Peas

1 ¼ Cups Carrots, cubed

Pie Dough Instructions:

To start off, start by making the crust. In a large bowl, mix together the flour, sugar and salt. Next, pour it into a large food processor or keep it in the bowl if you do not have one. 

Add half of the cold butter into the food processor and pulse until the largest butter pieces are about the size of a pea. If you are mixing by hand, use a dough cutter or potato masher and mash and mix until the largest butter pieces are about the size of a pea. Then add the next half of the butter and repeat the process.

Now pour in 4 tablespoons of the ice water and pulse or mix until just incorporated. If the dough is still dry add in the ice water a tablespoon at a time, mixing each time until it is just incorporated. You can tell the dough is done by pressing it together to see if it holds together.

Pour the dough onto a clean flowered surface and combine into one dough. Cut it into two equal disks and quickly knead them both into a flat disk. Sprinkle the top of each disk with flour and wrap with plastic wrap. 

Place them in the refrigerator for 1 hour.

Filling Instructions:

Melt the butter in a large pot over medium heat, add the diced onions, celery and carrot and cook until translucent and soft.

Next add in the flour and cook for about 1 minute. Slowly mix in the chicken broth until fully incorporated, then add in the milk, salt and pepper. Add in the chicken and peas and let simmer until thickened, stirring frequently. 

Once the filling is done, set aside and preheat the oven to 425 degrees F

Roll out your two disks of pie dough and place in a 9 inch glass pie dish. 

Next, place the filling in the dish with the dough and top with the second rolled out dough. 

Crimp the edges with your fingers on the edge of the pie dish. Cut 3 slits into the top of the dough in the middle

Mix 1 egg in a cup or bowl and lightly brush on the top of the dough. Place in the oven and bake for 35 minutes or until the crust has become golden brown.

Next, remove from the oven and serve!

Roasted Fall Veggie Salad

Salad may not seem like a very comforting meal, however this salad isn’t just any salad… it’s a salad made with all of those fall veggies. Warm roasted sweet potatoes, butternut squash, brussel sprouts and beets placed over a bed of lettuce with some bleu cheese and dried cranberries makes this salad super comforting and satisfying!

16 oz Spring Mix Salad Mix

1 Sweet Potato

1 Butternut Squash

3-4 Medium Sized Beets

1 lb Brussel Sprouts 

1 Hard Boiled egg for each salad

Bleu Cheese Dressing

Dried Cranberries, for topping

Pepitas, for topping

Olive Oil

Salt and Pepper to taste

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F and line a large baking sheet with foil.

Peel and cut the sweet potatoes, butternut squash, and beets into medium sized pieces. Wash the brussel sprouts, cut the stems off and cut in half. 

Place the veggies on the baking sheet and drizzle olive oil over the top of them. Season with salt and pepper and mix them until fully coated. Spread them out evenly on the pan and place in the oven. Bake for 30-40 minutes.

Next, boil the eggs and prep the salad bowls. 

Once the veggies are done, pull them out of the oven and let cool for about 5 minutes.

Cut the eggs in cubes and assemble the salads with the veggies, eggs, bleu cheese, cranberries and pepitas.

And Viola! A delicious roasted fall veggie salad!

This butternut squash quiche can be served anytime throughout a crisp fall day, from a warm start to your morning to a delicious dinner.  This vegetarian dish can also be made vegan with egg and cheese substitutes! 

If you are looking for a perfect dessert to try after this meal check out our Baked Pears recipe or if you are looking for a companion dish that fits this dish superbly try our Potato and Leek Fall Soup!

🍲How To Prepare A Butternut Squash🍲

It seems that many people are not all that familiar with the preparation of a butternut squash. In fact, the first time I had ever prepared a butternut squash was during my first time trying this recipe.

First you must cut the squash in half lengthwise. This will reveal the seeds at the bottom and give you a good basis for peeling and cutting.

We then remove the seeds and insides with a spoon. These seeds will look very similar to the inside of a pumpkin. They are from the same family after all! 

Then peel the skin of the squash with a vegetable peeler or knife. The skin is edible but does not fit the texture of this recipe.

🥬How to make this recipe vegan friendly🥬

Here at Fall Recipes For You we love recipes that can work for everyone with all kinds of diets and lifestyles. This butternut squash quiche recipe does just that. With just a few ingredient tweaks, it becomes instantly vegan! 

Vegan Egg Substitute

Our favorite vegan egg substitute is JUST Egg.  This is the best vegan egg replacer on the market and tastes and works the most like real eggs. We very highly recommend this especially for quiches!

Vegan Cheese Substitute 

The most used and best vegan cheese substitute that we love the most here at Fall Recipes For You is So Delicious Cheddar. This is definitely the best vegan cheddar on the market. 

Vegan Butter Substitute

Vegans know how much of a staple Earth Balance is in every vegan’s fridge. It is by far the best butter substitute around and can be used in a 1:1 ratio.

Vegan Milk Substitute

Oat milk is the best milk substitute for this quiche because it contributes to the texture and firmness of the eggs. Our favorite is Planet Earth Extra Creamy!

What Ingredients You Will Need

2 Pie crusts

Butter (or Vegan Butter)

Approx 6 eggs, depending on size of pie tin (about 1 ¼ cups vegan egg substitute)

Full yellow onion, diced

3-4 cloves garlic, minced

Butternut squash, cubed

Leek, sliced 1”

Mushrooms (I use baby Bellas), diced

1 cup fresh sage

2 cups Cheddar or Colby, freshly grated (or Vegan Cheese Substitute)

1 cup Whole milk ( or vegan milk substitute, we recommend oat milk)

1 Tbs Cinnamon

½ Tbs Clove

Salt and Pepper to taste

Directions

Preheat oven to 350

Boil butternut squash until it’s al dente (approx 5 min) 

*Follow detailed instructions above*

While you boil the squash, add butter, and onion to pan on medium and soften onions until they go golden

Add garlic until it’s fragrant

Add leeks, mushrooms, salt, and pepper

Drain and add butternut squash, reserving half a cup of hot water

Add cinnamon and cloves to the veggie mixture

Cook on medium until everything is soft, then add sage (reserve one leaf for presentation) until it’s either soft or fragrant

Remove from heat

In a large bowl, whisk eggs, 1 ½ cups cheddar, and whole milk, slowly add a few tablespoons of the reserved squash water to temper it. (You can skip the tempering if using vegan eggs)

Add the veggies to the egg mixture bowl, then pour everything evenly into crusts

Top with remaining cheddar

Cook for 50-60 min, or until firm

It’s recipe time!!

So, today is a full moon and I decided to celebrate! So, I found moon cookies recipes, adapted them to my needs and just baked them: they are delicious!

Ingredients

1 and ¼ cup of flour;

¼ cup of confectioner’s sugar (I’m pretty sure it works with regular sugar too);

¼ cup of butter (I used 2 to 3 additional teaspoons to get a good batter, see what works for you);

1 egg yolk (keep the rest of the egg on a small container on the fridge, you never know when you’ll need it);

OPTIONAL: 1 cup of grated almonds/walnuts;

How to do it?

Mix the flour + sugar + butter + egg yolk;

The batter should be smooth and consistent. You should be able to roll it in a ball;

On a container, put the batter, cover it up with something and keep it in the fridge until chilled. I sipped some tea and waited around 20min, I think;

Take it off the fridge and shape it in little moons. I opened half on my sink surface and cutted with a round glass, but by the end I just took pieces of the batter and shaped in little full moons, as you can see in the picture;

Cover baking tray with butter (take a few napkins, drizzle butter on it and spread on the baking tray) and place the cookies on it;

160°C, 20min and BAM! MOON COOKIES!

(You can tell they’re ready when the edges start to turn brownish and they “fluffed up” a little);

Shake sugar on top! I used vanilla flavoured sugar ;)

Witchy Adds

I added a few witchy things to set my intentions. On the ones in the picture I used:

Rosemary (focus, banishing, protection, love, healing, clear thinking, prosperity… It’s wonderful for everything)

Cinnamon powder (prosperity, love, lust)

Nutmeg (prosperity)

Clove powder (prosperity, love)

Grated ginger (power, lust)

Honey (love)

Vanilla extract (love)

Witchy tip!

Take a look at herbs/ingredients correspondence and get creative! There are so many things and combinations that can go well with these cookies, so just have fun!

Another reminder!

Pour good intentions, love and good vibes while cooking! I always have some music around and dance on the kitchen tiles to make it fun and enjoyable! Ask the moon to pour her energy on your festive cookies and make it your day (or night)!

even if you get along great with your family you will get along even better with them after moving out 

generic is almost always just as good as name brand. But there are some things you never buy generic, including: peanut butter, ketchup, liquid NyQuil, Chips-Ahoy chewy chocolate chip cookies

just imagine the person on the other end of the phone hates talking on the phone as much as you do. Even a receptionist. I worked as one and I hate talking on the phone

at least once in your life you will go to Wal-mart to buy something under $20 like an ironing board or something and your debit card will get rejected. No one will judge. Everyone at some point in their lives has had $2.98 in their bank account. 

thrift stores

everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about them to notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about you

you will screw up. a lot. you live and you learn. and when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened and how you wish you could change it, just tell yourself that what’s done is done. There’s no changing it, so just forget it and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane.

do the dishes before the sink grows its own ecosystem

you can’t put Dawn dishsoap in the dishwasher. 

if you are the only one in the aisle at the grocery store, and you need to get from one end to the other without even looking at anything in that aisle, then you should totally cart-surf down the aisle. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Hold on to the little things. They make all the difference.

never try to make cake from scratch at 3am. You end up with a topographical map of Middle Earth.

15% tip. 

the best way to get money for food is to tell your grandparents about how you basically live on microwaved mac and cheese. Their horror may result in twenty bucks and orders to go out and get yourself “a real dinner”.

sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it might get better doesn’t always make it suck any less, but you’ll never get to the non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness. 

no seriously, NEVER put Dawn in your dishwasher

Always check the type of light bulb that goes in lamps. A 60w is not interchangeable with a 40w.

Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, a pack of frozen veggies and a well stocked spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. Splurge and get the biggest container of rice you can. You don’t have to go back and buy it again anytime soon and it makes a TON of meals in the meantime.

Rice can be cooked on the stove. You don’t need a fancy rice cooker. Two parts water to every one part rice (two cups water for one cup of rice for example). Get your water boiling, add rice, put a plate or lid on it, put it on low for 20 minutes. It should be done.

Keep a calendar on your pc of bill due dates. If your bills are set up at inconvenient times, like all of the services started on the first or something, then call up the company and find out if you can get your billing date switched to something more manageable. A lot of places do try to work with you.

There is no shame in calling a company and asking for an extension on a bill. Let them know what you can pay, pay that amount, and they arrange when the rest of the payment is required. This can stop you from having services shut off man. It shows responsibility on your part.

Take time to eat, even when you don’t feel like eating. Your body needs energy to live.

Wash or rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It prevents gross caked on junk.

“The Works” is an excellent cheap toilet cleaner.

MAGIC. FUCKING. ERASERS. THEY WORK ON EVERYTHING JUST DON’T SCRUB HARD. I took the ring out of our bathtub with one. Also generic ones work just as well.

Keep some bleach around but if you use it for cleaning? Dillute it. There’s rarely ever a case where you need to pout straight bleach on anything. A cap full or two in a bucket of water works just fine.

DO NOT MIX CLEANERS. Chemical reactions are can be very dangerous. Here’s a good list. (Note that vinegar and baking soda can actually be a good combo for removing smells from things but it’s not very good at actually -cleaning-.)

If you drink? Don’t take meds at the same time it’s just not good.

Make sure you check the dosages on your pill bottles. No one wants to accidentally overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen.

If you have a uterus make sure you have a heating pad and ibuprofen on hand for the pain. Hot baths also generally help and Ginger Tea is excellent for any nausea.

Buy a first aid kit. It’s worth it in the long run.

You can often do your taxes online at places like TurboTax.

Here’s some good sex ed resources because I had to explain what a yeast infection was recently. 

Petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) is good for chapped lips and you can get a decent sized tube or tub of it (generic brand version) for cheaper/same price as Chapstick.

KEEP TRIPLE ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT IN YOUR HOUSE FOR CUTS AND SCRAPES AND SORES. 

~~Medications~~

Over the counter medications (stuff you can buy right off the shelf no prescription needed) have a name brand and a generic name. ALWAYS buy generic if it’s available it is literally the same thing and way cheaper usually.

Some names to remember when you’re looking for meds!

Acetaminophen = Tylenol

Used to treat pain and reduce fever. Do not take with Ibuprofen.

Ibuprofen = Advil, Midol, Motrin

Used for pain and fever, is an anti-inflammtory. Is good for period cramps because it is an NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug).

Naproxen = Aleve, Naprosyn

Treats fever, pain, arthritis pain, gout, period cramps, tendinitis, headache, backache, and toothache. Is also an NSAID.

Acetaminophen + Asprin + Caffeine = Excedrin

Usually marketed as “Migraine Relief” as a generic.

Asprin = Bayer

Use for pain, fever, arthritis, and inflammation. Makes you bleed easily so should not be used for periods. Might reduce risk of heart attacks.\

Triple Antibiotic Ointment = Neosporin

Used on cuts, sores, and scrapes to reduce risk of infection and promote healing.

if you live off ramen, add stuff to it! add veggies you like, don’t use the whole flavor packet to cut down on sodium and msg or don’t use it at all and add your own spices.

if you’re making something with potatoes in it (beans, stew) potatoes are done when you can easily stab a fork through them.

you can microwave a hotdog as long as you put it in a microwave safe container of water. microwaves work by making water molecules vibrate. also, when reheating rice leftovers, add a small amount of water, like maybe a spoonfull, so it doesn’t get hard and crunchy.

the rice cooking advice above is for long grain rice. if you’re making short or medium grain rice, a 1:1 ratio (one cup water for one cup rice) is better, so the rice doesn’t come out too mushy.

buy a few cans of chicken. wholesale club stores like sam’s, costco, or bj’s tend to carry multipacks for a good price. they’re incredibly useful for when you forget to defrost meat.

buy meat on sale and put it in the freezer. buy vegetables on sale, and put them in the freezer. frozen veggies are often as flavorful and good as fresh ones, keep longer, and often come in microwaveable bags or with microwave directions.

soak ink stains in milk to help get them out or at least lighten them.

soak blood stains in water as soon as possible, with a bit of detergent or stain remover. scrub at them. use cold water, heat binds proteins to fabric. tbh, there’s no real need to change the washer from cold-cold setting unless the thing you’re washing says to wash in warm water.

-coolant or water if your car overheats (coolant is preferable cause it won’t hurt the engine in the long run but hey i know money is tight) 

-flashlight in case you break down at night and need to check under the hood and your phone is dead

-SPARE TIRE. 

-jumper cables.you will at some point leave your lights on. you just will. 

Don’t be afraid to go to your local food bank. They are there for a reason.

1. Buy a roll of parchment paper from the cooking shit aisle. A big roll will last you for-fucking-ever. Pretty much any time you’re using a baking pan you can line it with that stuff and save yourself A: food sticking to the pan and B: it’s a quick rinse and it’s clean.

2. Bread can get fucking expensive, so make your own. A bigass bag of flour and a bag of active dry yeast (store it in the friiiiidge!!!) works out a FUCK of a lot cheaper than buying bread at the store, and you can do so much more with it. Bread, pizza, rolls, cinnibuns, homemade pizza pockets. It seems intimidating but it’s stupid easy.

Seriously. It’s stupid simple to make, and most of the “3 hours” to make it is sitting around surfing the internet or doing whatever the fuck you want while the dough rises. If you have an afternoon free once a week to sit and play video games or surf the net, you have the time to make your own bread on the cheap. Here’s my simple-as-fuck recipe:

2 ¼ teaspoons active dry yeast (You can buy a bag of this stuff CHEAP in bulk stores, the little packets are hella stupid priced) 1 cup warm water (think a hot bath) 1 ½ teaspoons sugar 2 tablespoons oil (any kind works for the most part) 2 ¼ cups flour 1 teaspoon salt

1. Stir the yeast, water, sugar, and oil up in a bowl. Let it sit for about 10 minutes. It will foam up VERY high, this is the yeast getting happy! If it doesn’t get all foamy, the water may have been too hot or not hot enough. Remember, Yeast is alive! Treat it like a nice girlfriend!

2. Mix your flour, salt, and the yeast concoction up in a bowl.

3. Knead that shit for about 5 minutes. It will start sticky as heck, but will come together into a nice dough. If it’s still super sticky, toss in a bit more flour. Here’s how to knead it: 

4. Put your dough in a covered, lightly oiled bowl and leave it someplace warmish for an hour. At that point it will have roughly doubled in size, give it a gentle punch to release the gasses that have built up inside. Cover it again and let it sit for a bit longer.

Boom. You have bread dough. Here are some baking times and uses for ya:

Optional egg-wash: Just crack an egg into a bowl, add a pinch of salt, and mix the bejeebus out of it with a fork. Brush (or if you’re like me, goop it on with said fork) that shit thinly on bread before baking for a nice crust.

Pizza: Stretch it on a pan, stab the fucker all over with a fork, add toppings, bake 425*F 15-20 minutes. 

Bread Sticks: Make snake-shapes, let rest on pan 10-ish minutes, bake 400*F 10-20 minutes.

Dinner rolls: Make ball-sized (yes those balls) balls. Place on greased pan, let rest 10-20 minutes to rise. Egg-wash and bake 375*F 25 minutes.

Bread: Lightly score (cut) the top, let sit for 20-ish minutes on/in whatever you’re using to bake it, egg-wash, bake at 375*F for 20-ish minutes. It’s done when it sounds hollow if you knock on the bottom.

You bet your ass you can deep-fry this shit for cheapie yeast doughnuts. Roll that shit in sugar or dip it in whatever, it’s fucking tasty.

Bagels: YES. YOU. CAN. Form bagel-shapes out of the dough and boil them in salty water for about 2 minutes. Egg-wash them and bake them at 400*F for 10 minutes.

Cinnamon Rolls: Roll that shit out into a rectangle. Brush it with a mix of butter, cinnamon, sugar, and a pinch of salt (no exact amounts here, do it to your taste). Roll it up into a log, and cut it into discs. Let them sit 20 minutes in a pan and then bake at 375*F 15-17 minutes.

You can add whatever you want to the dough for some variety, just if it’s dried spices remember you really only need 1-ish tablespoons. I personally like making bread with about 1 tablespoon of dill in the dough. Roll it out flat, sprinkle it with cheddar, roll it into a log, squeeze the ends shut, and bake it like a regular loaf of bread. Cheesy dill bread OMNOMNOM.

*ahem* That got a bit long. But yeah. Bread’s expensive, yo. Save your wallet.

even if you get along great with your family you will get along even better with them after moving out 

generic is almost always just as good as name brand. But there are some things you never buy generic, including: peanut butter, ketchup, liquid NyQuil, Chips-Ahoy chewy chocolate chip cookies

just imagine the person on the other end of the phone hates talking on the phone as much as you do. Even a receptionist. I worked as one and I hate talking on the phone

at least once in your life you will go to Wal-mart to buy something under $20 like an ironing board or something and your debit card will get rejected. No one will judge. Everyone at some point in their lives has had $2.98 in their bank account. 

thrift stores

everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about them to notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about you

you will screw up. a lot. you live and you learn. and when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened and how you wish you could change it, just tell yourself that what’s done is done. There’s no changing it, so just forget it and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane.

do the dishes before the sink grows its own ecosystem

you can’t put Dawn dishsoap in the dishwasher. 

if you are the only one in the aisle at the grocery store, and you need to get from one end to the other without even looking at anything in that aisle, then you should totally cart-surf down the aisle. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Hold on to the little things. They make all the difference.

never try to make cake from scratch at 3am. You end up with a topographical map of Middle Earth.

15% tip. 

the best way to get money for food is to tell your grandparents about how you basically live on microwaved mac and cheese. Their horror may result in twenty bucks and orders to go out and get yourself “a real dinner”.

sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it might get better doesn’t always make it suck any less, but you’ll never get to the non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness. 

no seriously, NEVER put Dawn in your dishwasher

Always check the type of light bulb that goes in lamps. A 60w is not interchangeable with a 40w.

Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, a pack of frozen veggies and a well stocked spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. Splurge and get the biggest container of rice you can. You don’t have to go back and buy it again anytime soon and it makes a TON of meals in the meantime.

Rice can be cooked on the stove. You don’t need a fancy rice cooker. Two parts water to every one part rice (two cups water for one cup of rice for example). Get your water boiling, add rice, put a plate or lid on it, put it on low for 20 minutes. It should be done.

Keep a calendar on your pc of bill due dates. If your bills are set up at inconvenient times, like all of the services started on the first or something, then call up the company and find out if you can get your billing date switched to something more manageable. A lot of places do try to work with you.

There is no shame in calling a company and asking for an extension on a bill. Let them know what you can pay, pay that amount, and they arrange when the rest of the payment is required. This can stop you from having services shut off man. It shows responsibility on your part.

Take time to eat, even when you don’t feel like eating. Your body needs energy to live.

Wash or rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It prevents gross caked on junk.

“The Works” is an excellent cheap toilet cleaner.

MAGIC. FUCKING. ERASERS. THEY WORK ON EVERYTHING JUST DON’T SCRUB HARD. I took the ring out of our bathtub with one. Also generic ones work just as well.

Keep some bleach around but if you use it for cleaning? Dillute it. There’s rarely ever a case where you need to pout straight bleach on anything. A cap full or two in a bucket of water works just fine.

DO NOT MIX CLEANERS. Chemical reactions are can be very dangerous. Here’s a good list. (Note that vinegar and baking soda can actually be a good combo for removing smells from things but it’s not very good at actually -cleaning-.)

If you drink? Don’t take meds at the same time it’s just not good.

Make sure you check the dosages on your pill bottles. No one wants to accidentally overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen.

If you have a uterus make sure you have a heating pad and ibuprofen on hand for the pain. Hot baths also generally help and Ginger Tea is excellent for any nausea.

Buy a first aid kit. It’s worth it in the long run.

You can often do your taxes online at places like TurboTax.

Here’s some good sex ed resources because I had to explain what a yeast infection was recently. 

Petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) is good for chapped lips and you can get a decent sized tube or tub of it (generic brand version) for cheaper/same price as Chapstick.

KEEP TRIPLE ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT IN YOUR HOUSE FOR CUTS AND SCRAPES AND SORES. 

~~Medications~~

Over the counter medications (stuff you can buy right off the shelf no prescription needed) have a name brand and a generic name. ALWAYS buy generic if it’s available it is literally the same thing and way cheaper usually.

Some names to remember when you’re looking for meds!

Acetaminophen = Tylenol

Used to treat pain and reduce fever. Do not take with Ibuprofen.

Ibuprofen = Advil, Midol, Motrin

Used for pain and fever, is an anti-inflammtory. Is good for period cramps because it is an NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug).

Naproxen = Aleve, Naprosyn

Treats fever, pain, arthritis pain, gout, period cramps, tendinitis, headache, backache, and toothache. Is also an NSAID.

Acetaminophen + Asprin + Caffeine = Excedrin

Usually marketed as “Migraine Relief” as a generic.

Asprin = Bayer

Use for pain, fever, arthritis, and inflammation. Makes you bleed easily so should not be used for periods. Might reduce risk of heart attacks.\

Triple Antibiotic Ointment = Neosporin

Used on cuts, sores, and scrapes to reduce risk of infection and promote healing.

if you live off ramen, add stuff to it! add veggies you like, don’t use the whole flavor packet to cut down on sodium and msg or don’t use it at all and add your own spices.

if you’re making something with potatoes in it (beans, stew) potatoes are done when you can easily stab a fork through them.

you can microwave a hotdog as long as you put it in a microwave safe container of water. microwaves work by making water molecules vibrate. also, when reheating rice leftovers, add a small amount of water, like maybe a spoonfull, so it doesn’t get hard and crunchy.

the rice cooking advice above is for long grain rice. if you’re making short or medium grain rice, a 1:1 ratio (one cup water for one cup rice) is better, so the rice doesn’t come out too mushy.

buy a few cans of chicken. wholesale club stores like sam’s, costco, or bj’s tend to carry multipacks for a good price. they’re incredibly useful for when you forget to defrost meat.

buy meat on sale and put it in the freezer. buy vegetables on sale, and put them in the freezer. frozen veggies are often as flavorful and good as fresh ones, keep longer, and often come in microwaveable bags or with microwave directions.

soak ink stains in milk to help get them out or at least lighten them.

soak blood stains in water as soon as possible, with a bit of detergent or stain remover. scrub at them. use cold water, heat binds proteins to fabric. tbh, there’s no real need to change the washer from cold-cold setting unless the thing you’re washing says to wash in warm water.

-coolant or water if your car overheats (coolant is preferable cause it won’t hurt the engine in the long run but hey i know money is tight) 

-flashlight in case you break down at night and need to check under the hood and your phone is dead

-SPARE TIRE. 

-jumper cables.you will at some point leave your lights on. you just will. 

Don’t be afraid to go to your local food bank. They are there for a reason.

1. Buy a roll of parchment paper from the cooking shit aisle. A big roll will last you for-fucking-ever. Pretty much any time you’re using a baking pan you can line it with that stuff and save yourself A: food sticking to the pan and B: it’s a quick rinse and it’s clean.

2. Bread can get fucking expensive, so make your own. A bigass bag of flour and a bag of active dry yeast (store it in the friiiiidge!!!) works out a FUCK of a lot cheaper than buying bread at the store, and you can do so much more with it. Bread, pizza, rolls, cinnibuns, homemade pizza pockets. It seems intimidating but it’s stupid easy.

Seriously. It’s stupid simple to make, and most of the “3 hours” to make it is sitting around surfing the internet or doing whatever the fuck you want while the dough rises. If you have an afternoon free once a week to sit and play video games or surf the net, you have the time to make your own bread on the cheap. Here’s my simple-as-fuck recipe:

2 ¼ teaspoons active dry yeast (You can buy a bag of this stuff CHEAP in bulk stores, the little packets are hella stupid priced) 1 cup warm water (think a hot bath) 1 ½ teaspoons sugar 2 tablespoons oil (any kind works for the most part) 2 ¼ cups flour 1 teaspoon salt

1. Stir the yeast, water, sugar, and oil up in a bowl. Let it sit for about 10 minutes. It will foam up VERY high, this is the yeast getting happy! If it doesn’t get all foamy, the water may have been too hot or not hot enough. Remember, Yeast is alive! Treat it like a nice girlfriend!

2. Mix your flour, salt, and the yeast concoction up in a bowl.

3. Knead that shit for about 5 minutes. It will start sticky as heck, but will come together into a nice dough. If it’s still super sticky, toss in a bit more flour. Here’s how to knead it: 

4. Put your dough in a covered, lightly oiled bowl and leave it someplace warmish for an hour. At that point it will have roughly doubled in size, give it a gentle punch to release the gasses that have built up inside. Cover it again and let it sit for a bit longer.

Boom. You have bread dough. Here are some baking times and uses for ya:

Optional egg-wash: Just crack an egg into a bowl, add a pinch of salt, and mix the bejeebus out of it with a fork. Brush (or if you’re like me, goop it on with said fork) that shit thinly on bread before baking for a nice crust.

Pizza: Stretch it on a pan, stab the fucker all over with a fork, add toppings, bake 425*F 15-20 minutes. 

Bread Sticks: Make snake-shapes, let rest on pan 10-ish minutes, bake 400*F 10-20 minutes.

Dinner rolls: Make ball-sized (yes those balls) balls. Place on greased pan, let rest 10-20 minutes to rise. Egg-wash and bake 375*F 25 minutes.

Bread: Lightly score (cut) the top, let sit for 20-ish minutes on/in whatever you’re using to bake it, egg-wash, bake at 375*F for 20-ish minutes. It’s done when it sounds hollow if you knock on the bottom.

You bet your ass you can deep-fry this shit for cheapie yeast doughnuts. Roll that shit in sugar or dip it in whatever, it’s fucking tasty.

Bagels: YES. YOU. CAN. Form bagel-shapes out of the dough and boil them in salty water for about 2 minutes. Egg-wash them and bake them at 400*F for 10 minutes.

Cinnamon Rolls: Roll that shit out into a rectangle. Brush it with a mix of butter, cinnamon, sugar, and a pinch of salt (no exact amounts here, do it to your taste). Roll it up into a log, and cut it into discs. Let them sit 20 minutes in a pan and then bake at 375*F 15-17 minutes.

You can add whatever you want to the dough for some variety, just if it’s dried spices remember you really only need 1-ish tablespoons. I personally like making bread with about 1 tablespoon of dill in the dough. Roll it out flat, sprinkle it with cheddar, roll it into a log, squeeze the ends shut, and bake it like a regular loaf of bread. Cheesy dill bread OMNOMNOM.

*ahem* That got a bit long. But yeah. Bread’s expensive, yo. Save your wallet.

even if you get along great with your family you will get along even better with them after moving out 

generic is almost always just as good as name brand. But there are some things you never buy generic, including: peanut butter, ketchup, liquid NyQuil, Chips-Ahoy chewy chocolate chip cookies

just imagine the person on the other end of the phone hates talking on the phone as much as you do. Even a receptionist. I worked as one and I hate talking on the phone

at least once in your life you will go to Wal-mart to buy something under $20 like an ironing board or something and your debit card will get rejected. No one will judge. Everyone at some point in their lives has had $2.98 in their bank account. 

thrift stores

everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about them to notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about you

you will screw up. a lot. you live and you learn. and when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened and how you wish you could change it, just tell yourself that what’s done is done. There’s no changing it, so just forget it and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane.

do the dishes before the sink grows its own ecosystem

you can’t put Dawn dishsoap in the dishwasher. 

if you are the only one in the aisle at the grocery store, and you need to get from one end to the other without even looking at anything in that aisle, then you should totally cart-surf down the aisle. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Hold on to the little things. They make all the difference.

never try to make cake from scratch at 3am. You end up with a topographical map of Middle Earth.

15% tip. 

the best way to get money for food is to tell your grandparents about how you basically live on microwaved mac and cheese. Their horror may result in twenty bucks and orders to go out and get yourself “a real dinner”.

sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it might get better doesn’t always make it suck any less, but you’ll never get to the non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness. 

no seriously, NEVER put Dawn in your dishwasher

Always check the type of light bulb that goes in lamps. A 60w is not interchangeable with a 40w.

Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, a pack of frozen veggies and a well stocked spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. Splurge and get the biggest container of rice you can. You don’t have to go back and buy it again anytime soon and it makes a TON of meals in the meantime.

Rice can be cooked on the stove. You don’t need a fancy rice cooker. Two parts water to every one part rice (two cups water for one cup of rice for example). Get your water boiling, add rice, put a plate or lid on it, put it on low for 20 minutes. It should be done.

Keep a calendar on your pc of bill due dates. If your bills are set up at inconvenient times, like all of the services started on the first or something, then call up the company and find out if you can get your billing date switched to something more manageable. A lot of places do try to work with you.

There is no shame in calling a company and asking for an extension on a bill. Let them know what you can pay, pay that amount, and they arrange when the rest of the payment is required. This can stop you from having services shut off man. It shows responsibility on your part.

Take time to eat, even when you don’t feel like eating. Your body needs energy to live.

Wash or rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It prevents gross caked on junk.

“The Works” is an excellent cheap toilet cleaner.

MAGIC. FUCKING. ERASERS. THEY WORK ON EVERYTHING JUST DON’T SCRUB HARD. I took the ring out of our bathtub with one. Also generic ones work just as well.

Keep some bleach around but if you use it for cleaning? Dillute it. There’s rarely ever a case where you need to pout straight bleach on anything. A cap full or two in a bucket of water works just fine.

DO NOT MIX CLEANERS. Chemical reactions are can be very dangerous. Here’s a good list. (Note that vinegar and baking soda can actually be a good combo for removing smells from things but it’s not very good at actually -cleaning-.)

If you drink? Don’t take meds at the same time it’s just not good.

Make sure you check the dosages on your pill bottles. No one wants to accidentally overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen.

If you have a uterus make sure you have a heating pad and ibuprofen on hand for the pain. Hot baths also generally help and Ginger Tea is excellent for any nausea.

Buy a first aid kit. It’s worth it in the long run.

You can often do your taxes online at places like TurboTax.

Here’s some good sex ed resources because I had to explain what a yeast infection was recently. 

Petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) is good for chapped lips and you can get a decent sized tube or tub of it (generic brand version) for cheaper/same price as Chapstick.

KEEP TRIPLE ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT IN YOUR HOUSE FOR CUTS AND SCRAPES AND SORES. 

~~Medications~~

Over the counter medications (stuff you can buy right off the shelf no prescription needed) have a name brand and a generic name. ALWAYS buy generic if it’s available it is literally the same thing and way cheaper usually.

Some names to remember when you’re looking for meds!

Acetaminophen = Tylenol

Used to treat pain and reduce fever. Do not take with Ibuprofen.

Ibuprofen = Advil, Midol, Motrin

Used for pain and fever, is an anti-inflammtory. Is good for period cramps because it is an NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug).

Naproxen = Aleve, Naprosyn

Treats fever, pain, arthritis pain, gout, period cramps, tendinitis, headache, backache, and toothache. Is also an NSAID.

Acetaminophen + Asprin + Caffeine = Excedrin

Usually marketed as “Migraine Relief” as a generic.

Asprin = Bayer

Use for pain, fever, arthritis, and inflammation. Makes you bleed easily so should not be used for periods. Might reduce risk of heart attacks.\

Triple Antibiotic Ointment = Neosporin

Used on cuts, sores, and scrapes to reduce risk of infection and promote healing.

if you live off ramen, add stuff to it! add veggies you like, don’t use the whole flavor packet to cut down on sodium and msg or don’t use it at all and add your own spices.

if you’re making something with potatoes in it (beans, stew) potatoes are done when you can easily stab a fork through them.

you can microwave a hotdog as long as you put it in a microwave safe container of water. microwaves work by making water molecules vibrate. also, when reheating rice leftovers, add a small amount of water, like maybe a spoonfull, so it doesn’t get hard and crunchy.

the rice cooking advice above is for long grain rice. if you’re making short or medium grain rice, a 1:1 ratio (one cup water for one cup rice) is better, so the rice doesn’t come out too mushy.

buy a few cans of chicken. wholesale club stores like sam’s, costco, or bj’s tend to carry multipacks for a good price. they’re incredibly useful for when you forget to defrost meat.

buy meat on sale and put it in the freezer. buy vegetables on sale, and put them in the freezer. frozen veggies are often as flavorful and good as fresh ones, keep longer, and often come in microwaveable bags or with microwave directions.

soak ink stains in milk to help get them out or at least lighten them.

soak blood stains in water as soon as possible, with a bit of detergent or stain remover. scrub at them. use cold water, heat binds proteins to fabric. tbh, there’s no real need to change the washer from cold-cold setting unless the thing you’re washing says to wash in warm water.

-coolant or water if your car overheats (coolant is preferable cause it won’t hurt the engine in the long run but hey i know money is tight) 

-flashlight in case you break down at night and need to check under the hood and your phone is dead

-SPARE TIRE. 

-jumper cables.you will at some point leave your lights on. you just will. 

Don’t be afraid to go to your local food bank. They are there for a reason.

1. Buy a roll of parchment paper from the cooking shit aisle. A big roll will last you for-fucking-ever. Pretty much any time you’re using a baking pan you can line it with that stuff and save yourself A: food sticking to the pan and B: it’s a quick rinse and it’s clean.

2. Bread can get fucking expensive, so make your own. A bigass bag of flour and a bag of active dry yeast (store it in the friiiiidge!!!) works out a FUCK of a lot cheaper than buying bread at the store, and you can do so much more with it. Bread, pizza, rolls, cinnibuns, homemade pizza pockets. It seems intimidating but it’s stupid easy.

Seriously. It’s stupid simple to make, and most of the “3 hours” to make it is sitting around surfing the internet or doing whatever the fuck you want while the dough rises. If you have an afternoon free once a week to sit and play video games or surf the net, you have the time to make your own bread on the cheap. Here’s my simple-as-fuck recipe:

2 ¼ teaspoons active dry yeast (You can buy a bag of this stuff CHEAP in bulk stores, the little packets are hella stupid priced) 1 cup warm water (think a hot bath) 1 ½ teaspoons sugar 2 tablespoons oil (any kind works for the most part) 2 ¼ cups flour 1 teaspoon salt

1. Stir the yeast, water, sugar, and oil up in a bowl. Let it sit for about 10 minutes. It will foam up VERY high, this is the yeast getting happy! If it doesn’t get all foamy, the water may have been too hot or not hot enough. Remember, Yeast is alive! Treat it like a nice girlfriend!

2. Mix your flour, salt, and the yeast concoction up in a bowl.

3. Knead that shit for about 5 minutes. It will start sticky as heck, but will come together into a nice dough. If it’s still super sticky, toss in a bit more flour. Here’s how to knead it: 

4. Put your dough in a covered, lightly oiled bowl and leave it someplace warmish for an hour. At that point it will have roughly doubled in size, give it a gentle punch to release the gasses that have built up inside. Cover it again and let it sit for a bit longer.

Boom. You have bread dough. Here are some baking times and uses for ya:

Optional egg-wash: Just crack an egg into a bowl, add a pinch of salt, and mix the bejeebus out of it with a fork. Brush (or if you’re like me, goop it on with said fork) that shit thinly on bread before baking for a nice crust.

Pizza: Stretch it on a pan, stab the fucker all over with a fork, add toppings, bake 425*F 15-20 minutes. 

Bread Sticks: Make snake-shapes, let rest on pan 10-ish minutes, bake 400*F 10-20 minutes.

Dinner rolls: Make ball-sized (yes those balls) balls. Place on greased pan, let rest 10-20 minutes to rise. Egg-wash and bake 375*F 25 minutes.

Bread: Lightly score (cut) the top, let sit for 20-ish minutes on/in whatever you’re using to bake it, egg-wash, bake at 375*F for 20-ish minutes. It’s done when it sounds hollow if you knock on the bottom.

You bet your ass you can deep-fry this shit for cheapie yeast doughnuts. Roll that shit in sugar or dip it in whatever, it’s fucking tasty.

Bagels: YES. YOU. CAN. Form bagel-shapes out of the dough and boil them in salty water for about 2 minutes. Egg-wash them and bake them at 400*F for 10 minutes.

Cinnamon Rolls: Roll that shit out into a rectangle. Brush it with a mix of butter, cinnamon, sugar, and a pinch of salt (no exact amounts here, do it to your taste). Roll it up into a log, and cut it into discs. Let them sit 20 minutes in a pan and then bake at 375*F 15-17 minutes.

You can add whatever you want to the dough for some variety, just if it’s dried spices remember you really only need 1-ish tablespoons. I personally like making bread with about 1 tablespoon of dill in the dough. Roll it out flat, sprinkle it with cheddar, roll it into a log, squeeze the ends shut, and bake it like a regular loaf of bread. Cheesy dill bread OMNOMNOM.

*ahem* That got a bit long. But yeah. Bread’s expensive, yo. Save your wallet.

Made this list for my fellow witchies who like their kitchen to be full of the green stuff :

Basil : like lots of sun and warmth. More difficult to grow in the winter months

Bay : needs plenty of sun and fresh air.

Chives : needs at least 6 hours of sun and plenty of water.

Dill : prefers slightly acidic soil, needs plenty of sunlight, doesn’t need too much water.

Lemongrass : My personal favorite as you don’t plant it in soil. Grow in a couple of inches of water. Easiest to grow.

Mint : needs plenty of water and needs to be placed in an area with indirect light. Harvest frequently.

Oregano : does not deal well with cold and drastic temperature changes could kill it.

Parsley : Doesn’t require too much light or maintenance, but is a slow grower.

Rosemary : needs 6 - 8 hours of strong, direct sunlight. Only water when the top layer of soil feels dry. Needs good ventilation. A bit trickier to grow.

Sage : Needs plenty of sun. 

Thyme : Needs 6 - 8 hours of sunlight a day and maybe even supplemental light.

(Because oh my god, it’s so hard, and everyone’s all like stop feeling so bad about yourself and it’s like how???) 

Be naked. A lot. Sleep naked. Have sex naked. Eat cereal naked. (Or naked and wrapped in a sheet. Favorite thing.) 

Follow beautiful, confident, (un-photoshopped) body-positive babes on the Internet. Unfollow anything that makes you feel insecure. Exposure is key. You’re not going to get it if you don’t seek it out, because the media sucks and wants us to feel like shit about ourselves so they can take our money. (Some hashtags to follow: #effyourbeautystandards #bootyrevolution #blackisbeautiful #transisbeautiful #wheelchairlife #fatkini #fatshion)

Lingerie. Next best thing to being naked. 

Self care, babe. Different for everyone. (Me? Showers, books, shaving my legs, nature walks, dark lipstick, good playlists, clean rooms, candles, sexy time.) 

Get ready in your underwear. Boobs = happiness. 

Self portraits. Be pro-selfie. Take a million selfies. Take sexy selfies. Take no makeup selfies. Take bad angle silly selfies. Take artsy tripod selfies. Take everything-is-on-point selfies. You’re gorgeous; document your gorgeousness. You don’t even need to post them. 

Stop with the self deprecationnnnn. Pleeeeaseeee. It’s hard to control your thoughts love, I know, but you can control what you say. NEVER insult yourself out loud. Dare I say compliment yourself out loud? (And if you can, do your best to try to body-positive-ify your thoughts too.) 

Sex (including solo sexy time), wine, and chocolate. In that order. 

Share the body love. Compliment your girlfriends. Cultivate a nonjudgemental, supportive, lift-each-other-up “we’re so cute” friend group. Everyone’s insecure. Compliment your besties. And strangers, too. Be that person that makes everyone feel good about themselves when they’re around.