dino boots .....

Why do people say "a little birdy told me" when talking about secrets? I have heard way more dark secrets from the toads.

If you're a new writer and you're asking yourself "is this too personal, is this too much, will people think this is weird" that feeling is the exact location of your actual voice. The stuff that makes you want to close the laptop is the stuff nobody else could write. The safe version is always worse. Always. I have never once read something and thought "this would have been better if it was a little less honest." go further. It's always go further.

smoking the shit that turned the clock wise

Boss told me my software had too many bugs so I plugged a frog directly into the mainframe. Frog ate all the bugs and was so much better than me that I was fired. Now the frog has my job and my wife and my kids call him dad instead of me.

I have an announcement. It was me, I was putting the chemicals in the water that make the frogs gay. The chemicals was actually Dr Pepper. The frogs were already gay but the Dr Pepper made them gayer. I am not sorry.

Have you or a loved one experienced Instant Frogification after visiting frogofthemonth.com? Good. Your welcome.

tomorrow im developing my theory of tuesday

it's already tuesday

just as i theorized.

do you fuck with my unwritten story

do you fuck with the weird guy i made

sorry if i weirded you out with my messages earlier (remembers im trying to be more self confident) but actually it was normal of me to do so (becomes nervous im acting superior) because i am a human like everybody else and not better than anyone (remembers i am better than some people) except for really bad people (notices the ideological can of worms opened by previous clause) but anyone can work towards self improvement (remembers im trying to be more self confident) like meeee :)