Whiskey in my Whiskey

Dennis Stock     Lester Young in His Hotel Room, New York City     1958

I’ve been refraining from being an activist on the social media as of late. Mainly because I think social media activism is kind of silly. But also out of frustration and disappointment in our current state of affairs, and our two terrible choices for president.

But recent events have compelled me to say a few things. I’d like to start by asking a question. If I were to say to you, “Your opinion matters”, would you take offense to that? Would you tell me that I’m being exclusionary? Would you say, “Well sure, but what about everybody else’s opinion? Don’t all opinions matter?” Of course you wouldn’t. Because I’m not invalidating other opinions by saying that. I’m focusing on you. I’m telling you that your opinion matters. Because it does. Of course other opinions matter. And generally speaking I’d have to agree that all opinions matter. But we’re not talking about other opinions. We’re talking about yours. The truth is that all lives do, in fact, matter. But we’re not talking about all lives. We’re talking about the lives of those who have been marginalized. The lives of those who have disproportionately died at the hands of police (and others, I see you Trayvon) while unarmed. We’re talking about the lives of those who have had disproportionately more severe sentences for the same crimes, and who disproportionately make up the prison population. Their lives matter. Just as much as yours.

Saying that black lives matter is not an exclusionary statement. It’s an inclusive statement.

Hey! These lives matter! You know, the ones you’ve been ignoring. These people matter too!

The “all lives matter” retort is a ploy. An attempt at dismissal. Like saying, “yeah yeah, your opinion matters. Everyone’s opinion matters. Shut up.” I’m sure you’ve heard something along those lines at some point in your life. And that’s what we’re saying when we respond with “all lives matter”. It’s bullshit. It’s dismissal and further marginalization. It’s got to stop.

I’m white. I’ve never felt marginalized to any extent worth mentioning. But I’ve seen my friends who are not white be stopped for no good reason. Questioned, asked why they were running when I was running too. I’ve seen a black roommate of my mom’s be handcuffed on his knees in his own front yard only to be released after my white mom said he lives there. Mind you, my mom hadn’t produced any evidence that she lived there. But hey, they took her word for it.

Two more men killed in two days. Two more families ruined because of snap judgements. Two more moments that have become all too normal.

This brings me to last night. 5 cops were killed, and another 6 injured. This is heart breaking as well, and nothing but destructive. My heart aches for their families, and their colleagues. This type of violence, born of anger will make things worse. And that sucks (to put it simply). We need perspective and understanding. Now there will be more clouded vision and judgement. Because two dumbasses with guns just destroyed lives, and set fire to a positive movement. I hope #BLM will not suffer because of these fools. This shit scares me. It scares me for my friends who are not white. It scares me for my cop uncle, who is a good man and a wonderful father. He is basically an amazing human being. It scares me for everyone involved.

It scares me that I’ll have to one day explain to my son that because he’s white, he has privileges that his brown and black friends do not. That he will have to be cognizant of that. That he needs to be aware of those moments. And that conversation ain’t shit compared to the ones my brown and black friends have to have with their kids.

It scares me that it’s good people who suffer. Whenever a segment of people are targeted. It’s the good ones who get hurt. There are far more good people in this world than bad. Everyone needs to remember that.

So please, reevaluate you opinion of #BlackLivesMatter. Because your opinion matters.