you're imperfect.

the acid sitting behind his teeth is beginning to saturate the anger ghosting his skin; there’s no such thing as benign malevolence or soft elasticity coating the razor of his tongue.   mangled thoughts are in the pools of his eyes, the shadows of his lungs, a year of grief replaying over and over in his head like an ethereal nightmare.   only, it’s not a nightmare, but his reality; those are the reflections of his own memory seeping into his broken halo, cracking his spine and dipping into the crevices.   it stings him again, the mere mention of it.   he said that once out of anger, he said it to bask in the circumstantial passive aggressiveness axel ripped out of him.   he’s angry, angry that this inferior blot of desolation thinks he has the right to lay claim to the suffering of others.   this can’t be real—vanitas can’t be real—yet he’s here somehow, baring his fangs, severing the silence with a residual animosity roxas finds satisfaction in being able to place, somehow.   the predator has spent 365 days lurking in the shadows and resigning himself to his fate, and he basks in the irony of the situation, shrinking coyly into himself as he unsheathes his claws.

❛   i don’t know what’s more pathetic,   ❜ he starts, his lips barely separating the serrated edge from cutting deeper into the wounds,   ❛   that you think you have some kind of power over me, or that you think you’re going to break me when you’re so unimportant.❜   that’s a deliciously decadent line rolling from his lips, but he refuses to bow down to anyone.   besides, roxas doesn’t need to be saved as he’s long since accepted his inanition, but he knows sora is going to attempt to save him anyway out of the goodness of his heart and not out of pity.   it’s never about pity, it’s about doing the right thing.  vanitas, he has nothing, he understands nothing.   it’s a ploy to redeem himself by ending the vicious cycle of pain and hatred he developed out of jealousy, but vanity will be his undoing; he has nowhere to go, and maybe that scares him, but roxas can’t be bothered to care.   perhaps the uncertainty is what scares vanitas, scares him into submitting to the rage and evil caging his heart.   roxas doesn’t know, but regardless he won’t submit to vanitas’s level, he refuses to.

he’s better than that.

in other words, if xemnas were his guardian and the one supplementing him with cues and tidbits of info, roxas would most likely be aligned based on xem’s overall intention rather than from axel’s experience with friendship. this isn’t to say that roxas would be fully ‘evil’ or something like that, as he probably would still question things and be a little ??? about some stuff based on what others would say to him, but he definitely would lean on the more dark side of the spectrum, as his ideology would be shaped by what xemnas tells him is good/what would be ideal, and would put his perspective of the ‘bigger picture’ along with the idea they’re doing this to be whole. xemnas, if he manipulated roxas acceptably, would answer any questions roxas has and push him in the direction he wants to ensure victory. roxas, being given answers rather than being ignored, would most likely become reliant, and would seek his leader out (and defend him, by extension) as he depends on answers, since xemnas would be his primary giver of what he wants.

he fiddles with his thumbs nervously, not sure how he should go about the presentation, as xion definitely disregarded him altogether after he got through explaining his reasoning behind asking for a loan the first time he attempted to ask.   it’s an item he’s wanted for a little while now (but no one really needs to know the details of how long, exactly, he’s wanted it), and the interior of sora’s heart has been feeling a little gloomy, he thinks; he purchased knickknacks in the past to liven up places (and just because he likes them, in all honesty), and now is definitely no exception.   hopefully ventus will open his ears and be more receptive to the request, however he’s absolutely aware of how silly it might sound, and he’s hesitant to start.   unfortunately, he has to start eventually; wearing a smile on his face, he hopes that’ll ease the rest of the conversation into a more fruitful direction.

❛   look, ven, before you shut me down, let me explain why i think we need it.   ❜   he sticks his tongue out while he digs through the pockets of his pants, struggling because of the cloak in the way, before finally revealing what appears to be a photograph.   ❛   it looks like a palm tree.   it’s perfect, because sora’s home has palm trees.   this place feels so dead, so it’s a nice and warm little splash to decorate.  plus, we always leave our paper towels out on the counter and they get dirty and used faster.   we should be able to save more paper with this.   ❜

i’ve actually been contemplating this for a while, but due to a recent brief conversation with sparky, i think i’m going to go ahead and implement it.

from this moment forward, my roxas will be manga/novel canon compliant vs game compliant, though i will draw influences from the game as it is his original source of media. to cut a long story short, the novel/manga versions of roxas are different in the sense that he isn’t as static, and the books actually portray certain events that happened in-game differently that make much more sense (to me, personally) and add a certain flavor of depth that isn’t otherwise present. it’s a nice angle i’d like to explore and will probably add more personalization to my portrayal.

            SO this was Roxas– despite the fact they’d met informally already ( can you really meet someone you’ve only heard in your head? )  she still knew very little about the blond whose name had been thrown around besides the fact he was SORA’S nobody.

            “ It’s nice to finally actually meet you IN PERSON, Roxas. ” Kairi smiled & introduced herself once there’d been time to do so. This was the person Axel– LEA had wanted to reunite with before. “ Remember me? I’m Kairi. ” It’d be awkward if he didn’t….. “ We spoke just once before. ”

he knows sora’s life like the back of his hand.   it’s kind of weird for him, being in such close proximity to someone who was once a mystery, but going back to where he belongs yields him with a completeness in his sense of identity, and the answers to all the questions he previously had.   this completeness resolves the mysteries of the identities for those involved in sora’s memories, including kairi; you’re that girl he likes, he told her once, but she’s a lot more than that.

I love you, Maddox I hope you have a wonderful day!

my heart belongs to me ://