The Portal Of Another Life

"Ellie, your Dad is barely in his thirties, so it’s not a mid-life crisis. Maybe something is on his mind."

"I don't know, he's so weird"

"Oh dear, is he on a training kick?"

"A kick? More like a jump, someone set the fireworks, he's always training, is he having a mid-life crisis?"

(Open)

"I'm hiding from Dad, who wants to train me, again"

"Ellie, you've been home three days"

"So pick up all your stuff, what did your servant die of?"

"Ugh Dad, it's not like it's hurting anyone, you're so lame"

"It would be nice once things sort of…settle. And I can understand. Course, I don’t think that’d stop you from looking around either. Learning your surroundings, you could argue."

"Ooh I like that, time spent checking out the surroundings, reaching ones zen"

"She likes to travel that one. And I’m not sure Joe would at this moment. Don’t think we have the time available to do so right now. Maybe someday, who knows."

"I think it would be cool that you could travel, I mean I jump place to place but it's work, no sightseeing allowed"

"I wouldn’t be surprised. If he could, he’d take us to South Korea to see BIG BANG or Shinee. Me? I’d rather go to Japan and see Baby Metal, tour the country, go to Universal and make Edana foam at the mouth…"

"She so would foam at the mouth, she grilled Mom when she and Pa came back from London when Sil was two weeks old. You should get Uncle Joe to take you"

"….Right next to the yellow mouse and pink puffball? I believe so….does your mother and fathers know your uncle took you here? Or am I going to have to slap him upside the head?"

"They only know he's taken me out with you, but he mentioned a convention, Dad and Pa are gonna freak, Mom may join you in the kicking butt... is that K Pop on the speakers? I bet this is why Uncle Joe came here too"

"You want weird? Ever go to a robotics convention? You have women and men rushing the stage for Tony Stark like he’s Elvis, people - sorry, a whole panel -debating whether or not robotics is leading us into a Terminator-esque Age or not, people debating A.I. rights while not understanding programming, and parties. Johnathan Coulton, MC Larts, and MC Frontalot performed. It’s like Pax East meeting an actual intellectual convention.”

"Jeez, my mom would have a field day there, she would be ON the panel debating such a thing.... and is that Rocky humping Bullwinkle over there?"

"Now I wouldn’t go that far - it’s not a Twilight convention.”

"Then why did Uncle Joe take us to a furries, slash, pokemon, slash mario bros animals only shopping gathering where people look like they want to hump eachother? It's creeping me out"

“Do you know there’s a Mount Thor on Baffin Island?”

"Ah, so the Mating Ritual of American’s Captian involves crooning out cheesy love songs and dancing in a way that would have been deemed as sinful a few decades ago…in short, he turns into Michael Bolton."

"So if Dad starts sporting a perm and singing like he's swallowed marbles and smoked a bus load of cigs, sporting love poems with titles that would make Meatloaf proud, should I just hand you the adoption papers to sign?"

“Do you know there’s a Mount Thor on Baffin Island?”

"I’ve never seen your dad flirt. I wasn’t aware he could…..and less Grease and more John Cusack in “Say Anything”, holding a boombox outside her apartment, blasting something like, I dunno, Everlasting Love by Carl Carlton. Because why not.”

"Oh no no, my darling Godfather, if he's going to sing cheesy love songs it's gotta be 'Don't know much' by Aaron Neville and Linda Ronstadt, from the heart, man, the heart, complete with warbling, I can't see him attempting Shaft like dancing, Fury would put him in for a Psych test"

“Do you know there’s a Mount Thor on Baffin Island?”

"That sounds more like Edana than your dad. Your dad seems more…..take action. That surprises me. And she just decided to pop over with a cake? Sounds like E - or did she call and tell your dad and he JUST HAPPENED to be walking around in just jeans? How convenient….curiouser and curiouser…"

"Have you seen my Dad try to flirt? It's like watching Danny from Grease, any day now I am prepared for when he starts singing 'Sandy' by the window"

“Do you know there’s a Mount Thor on Baffin Island?”

"Well, well, well….this is an interesting turn of events. I gotta get popcorn then with this goes down."

"Pretty much yeah, they stare at each other and then run away. I once read her mind, because her eyes widened as if saying 'unclean thoughts! unclean thoughts' and that happened after she popped over with a cake and Dad came out the bathroom in just his jeans"