Dimension 20 Gift Exchange 2019

“You never call me Sofia, Dale.” She begins to sniff.

“No, no, see you can’t. I can’t keep doing this to you, I know I’m here but. I’m not the same, I know you told everyone we had hot sex in heaven and I think it’s a funny bit too but you know that’s never really what this is going to be.”

“Plenty’a people are fine bein’ single, Dale, I need you I don’t need a romp under the sheets.”

“No. You need someone to love you back, you need someone to kiss and to romance and to cuddle and make blueberry-chocolate muffins and buttermilk pancakes for. You don’t need an ex-husband who kept secrets his whole life and underestimated you because it was easier than seeing you in harm’s way.”

It feels like a tennis ball is lodged in her throat, but also like the weight of Dale just got lifted off her shoulders. She nods after a while.

“Don’t you dare disappear again. The monastery still needs you.”

“I know.”

“I’ll get Em to punch you if you even think about not comin’ back.”

“I wouldn’t fight her.”

“‘Course you wouldn’t…” she sighs.

“So do I have to ask her out for you or…”

Sofia finds she doesn’t need help punching him after all.

“What are you thinking?” A voice of comfort, full of love, draws Sof out of her reminiscing.

“Three years!” Sofia cheers and Em laughs, cuddling into her bosom to block out the light. Sof’s finger runs over Em’s, she has to go soon, they both do. But they’ve found that even Em can have days off- it seems that humans don’t notice a missing statue if it’s made of magic.

“Not yet.” Em teases.

Sofia huffs at her, “Fine!” She groans. “Two years, 363 days and an hour.”

Em laughs herself out of bed and Sofia smiles, beaming as Em discovers the batch of chocolate buttermilk pancakes.

Em eats two in one go and Sof shakes her head fondly, joining her at the breakfast nook where a feast awaits them. Their first date was their regular, weekly lunch minus Esther just that once.

“I love you.” Sofia’s breath catches midway through chewing her own pancake. She's never chewed quicker, and then swallows, her voice heavy.

“I love you too, so much.”

“So much.” Em smiles, taking her hand and squeezing it slightly.

“So I’ll wrap things up at the monastery early today and meet you at the fountain?”

“Yep.”

“And you’re not going to say anything about the surprise?”

“What surprise?”

“You know I know there’s a surprise, and why did Pete know? You know he’s terrible at keeping secrets!”

Em mimes zipping her lip and Sofia laughs it off, a blush staining her cheeks as they eat breakfast together telling quick stories of their favourite dates and impromptu gifts.

“I packed your lunch.”

“I packed yours.” Sofia smiles mischievously and Em laughs, bending down slightly so that Sofia can kiss her. Em doesn’t need sustenance- not human food anyway- but she can eat and she loves to eat what Sof makes. Nonetheless, Em appreciates the irony of her making food for Sof, but what’s better is that Sof appreciates it even more.

They both head off from their tiny apartment, Em magicking to the fountain through a treeline as Sof bounds up the wall and jumps towards the monastery’s courtyard.

“Hey boss.”

“Hi Tom, how’re those spin kicks coming.”

He demonstrates in lieu of answering.

“That’s great, Tom!” She praises, “now remember you have to keep…” Sofia explains as she walks him to her class. 

Later that day, half-forgotten about what day it is, Sof’s on her way to her 3:30 meditation practices when a familiar purr emanates through the air and Sof sighs and relaxes her hands into the fluffy hair of La Gran Gata as she appears.

“It’s been a while.”

“You haven’t needed me.”

Sof hums in agreement as the purrs increase in volume, her fingers finding the familiar pattern of scritches that the majestic cat enjoys the most.

“Why are you here now?”

“I missed my chin scratches and I don’t want to bother you when you’re- ah, it is a secret- I remember now. Have fun, young one. Don’t be late for her, now.”

“EM!” Sof shouts at the empty space between her hands and clocks the sun. She’d better run. She’s only done this once before, run over these buildings but it’ll have to happen again- she can’t be late for a third anniversary surprise! Throwing down everything except her phone, Sof takes a running leap over to the next building and only speeds up from there.

“Forgot?” Someone asks her halfway up to heaven.

“Not now Kug!”

“I’m just helping Sof,” he laughs, and the wind pushes a little bit higher and faster. 

“Thank you!”

“Be good, Sof, be the best of us.”

She lands on her feet, patting her hair into place as she looks up at where Em… is supposed to be?

“Over here, Sof!” Pete says energetically and she frowns, walking over to where Pete and Kingston are standing near a massive portal of dream energy to another New York. 

Rowan’s New York.

“What’re we doing?”

“C’mon, Sof, everyone’s waiting.”

“Wha-okay.” Sofia nods as a glimpse of Em enters her field of vision.

Em steps to the side, blocking Sof’s view of what’s going on as she dominates the entry. 

“Thanks, guys. God, I hope this is what you’ll love.”

“Em, what’re you...” Sof halts her sentence as Em takes out a small, black, velvet box. “Ohmygahd, Em.”

Em laughs shyly, “Sofia Bicicleta. These three years with you have been the most delicious of my whole life. You light up my world and you warm my nights with your love. I know it won’t be the safe but,” she opens the box, a simple gold band inside, “will you please marry me?”

Sof nods, tears streaming down her face.

“These are happy tears right?”

“Yes, oh my god, yes! Pete!”

“Pete?” Em asks.

“Uh, yeah?”

“My right pocket, jacket, I can’t- just, can you get it.”

“Yes, yeah, I got it.” Pere says shakily, fumbling into Sofia’s pocket and clasps the identical black box in her jacket.

“Oh my god.” Em tears up, small tears of the fountain running over her cheeks.

“I was gonna go first, babe, I can’t think when you're bein’ all mushy.” Sof sniffs. “You are the best thing to ever happen to me, Em. I love you, will you please marry me?”

“Of course!” 

“Uh, guys?” Kingston asks tentatively. “Shall we?”

“Right. Of course,” Em says, taking Sofia’s hand and leading her inside.

CONGRATULATIONS spins in the air as everyone who they know pauses the party to listen.

“She said yes!” Em cries out and everyone cheers, “and so did I!” Laughter rings out as everyone applauds and Rowan leads Sof off to clean up for their engagement party.

“Are you happy Sof?” Rowan asks, pausing by the door after Sof’s freshened up.

“I’ve never been happier, Rowan.” She smiles.

“You guys are gonna be great.”

Her heart pounding, she accepts the request quickly.

He’s not going to like you if you’re so desperate.

Then unfriends him in a blind panic.

But now he’ll think you don’t like him- you deleted him.

She quickly presses on the add friend button.

Still too desperate!

Her hands shaking, and through her head racing with conflicting thoughts of insecurity, anxiety, and Gorgug she keeps obsessively pressing the add friend and delete request in quick succession, panicking and spiraling as she gets up and paces through her room and around her bathroom and back.

Zelda finally stays her hand when a ding pops through, and a message appears.

GORGUG THISTLESPRING This person isn’t in your contacts, would you like to add them?

<What’s up? Uh, how’s your semester going? <We need to meet up <I think you might be in trouble? lol

His messages come through in quick succession and she quickly types her reply

Not much, u?> *Good. Not not much> *Not not much> I didn’t mean to type not much, I meant to say good. My semester is going good.> I’m in trouble? lol? Like, do you…> lol...what?>

Gods above, why can’t I just get flirting! What does he want me to say? Is this a thing?

<Hey, do you want to get ice cream tonight? I know that’s wild lol

Zelda flings her crystal in the toilet in surprise. Anxiety squashes the rage almost effortlessly as she panics around the toilet and quickly picks out her dead crystal.

“Fuck!”

She washes her hands twice and runs to her room, shakily missing the plug to charge her laptop so it will turn on. Finally, finally, it starts up as she starts chewing on her inner cheek her fingers tap restlessly in time with the beat. She pulls up the website and chats as quick as she can and types a message.

So sorry. I dropped my phone in the toilet I’m on my computer now> Um> lol> Forget about the toilet thing> That didn’t happen> Something else happened> I took a pause from the conversation for a different reason. Not the toilet, forget about the toilet thing I said.>

Zelda quickly gathers her stuff and peeks her head out of her room, laptop in hand. “Mum! I’m going out to Basrar’s with a friend, also I uh, I dropped my phone in the toilet so don’t worry too much!” Her mum tells back, sounding unaffected, “Okay, sweetie, have fun, don’t be back before ten!”

On my way to Basrar’s right now lol> Hope that you like banana sundaes because I also like them and then that would be a thing we had in common> <That would be good for me too <To eat a banana split <I guess I like them too

Earbuds in, she picks a red rose from her mum’s garden and starts walking to Basrar’s, eventually beginning to form a leisurely gallop as she becomes more excited by the prospect of her first date. With Gorgug!

At Basrar’s she glances around but can’t see anyone so she quickly ducks in and flashes a smile at Basrar. When she looks up a few minutes later, she sees Gorgug and then in the corner of her eye, notices the rest of his party, heads bowed close together as they whisper furiously.

Her pulse ramps up and Zelda can feel her eyes widen in instinctive fearful response.

“Ugh, um, ugh, you’re friends here as, like, a prank, or something?” “No. No, oh they’re just...they wanted… they heard I was getting ice cream and then they wanted ice cream too. So they’re just… it’s good to see you!” “Oh! Cool. Yeah, my friends, they all peaced out.  They didn’t want… they, they were all like we all live in different homes, we have to go home…” “Right. All my friends live in different homes, too.”

ADAINE Tell her she looks nice>

“Uh, uhm, you… you look…” he looks down at his phone, “nice.” “Are you bored?” “No, no. No.” “What did you say?” “I said you look nice.” “Oh. Cause, uh-“ “I’m sorry. I’m nervous.” “It’s cool… I-I’m nervous too. I, uh, I ugh, your friends are, like, popular and loud…” “They’re really loud”

Fabian laughs, fig plays Bass with a bow

“Sometimes I just feel like they’re just so loud all the time and I would just love it quiet.” “Yeah, I get that. My family is super, uhm, loud too. Uhm. And I’m like, the least loud, uhm, one.” “That’s, uh, me… too. I don’t… I like to be quiet. Should we get some ice cream?” “Yeah!” Zelda smiles. Basrar swirls over, “Ah! Hello to the young couple, ah congratulations on… is this some sort of anniversary? I notice you have a flower?” “Oh, yeah…” Gorgug looks at the rose “I actually just s- I was- uh…” Zelda panics and instinctively munches on it. “Okay. Uhm…” “I’m part goat, so I can, like, eat super anything…” “Yeah. Uh, do you want more flowers?” “No.” “Oh, okay.” “No. But if you wa- If you’re gettin’- or do you want some?” “Can we a sundae with some flowers on it?” Gorgug asks Basrar.

“I can only do ice cream, is the thing. So I can do, like, a- a flower flavour-” “Okay.” “-but I can’t. I do very specific wishes, okay. So…” “I get it.” Gorgug smiles at her, as if she’s in on something, and Zelda swears she can almost forget her knotted stomach if he would just keep looking at her like that. “Okay.” Basrar says, sounding miserable. “Whaaa- yeah. Whatever, uh, this flower flavour sounds good.” “Uh, flower is okay, do you wish to use your wish for ice cream later or is someone going to pay?” “I can, uh, I’ll pay.” Zelda offer immediately. “I got it, I got it. I can- I’ll pay. It was my idea, so, yeah.” Gorgug says quickly and Zelda looks furtively down from his broad smile. “Uh, okay.” She looks at Gorgug, anxiety building again. “Yeah, my family all worship, um, the god of wine and ecstasy-“ “Oh.” “Um, and I-“ “Cool.” “I’m, um, I’m training to be a battle dancer, and-“ “Battle Dancer?” “Yeah, sort of my ancestors would go wild in the hills, in forests, and they would, um, drink wine and experience a deep ecstasy, and they would, um, rend men limb from limbs with their hands.” “So cool.” “Really?” Zelda says, surprised, “So-some people think it makes me, like, a freak.” “Oh.” Grogug pauses, “I don’t think so, I think it’s cool.” “Rad.” Zelda breathes, a small smile forming. “Yeah.” “Uhm, that’s why I thought it was weird when you flipped out on Ragh, it was just that I got super, um, like when you flipped out it’s like, that’s… hot.” Zelda confesses. “Oh.” Gorgug looks at her, wide-eyed. “Because I also…” Zelda starts explaining. “What?” Gorgug asks, taken aback. “No…” Zelda laughs wrily, “I-It’s stupid…” “No it’s not…” Gorgug says quickly, “I mean, cool. That’s awesome.” “Yeah…” Zelda says softly, retreating back into her hair, “Whatever.” “That’s really awesome.” “I just, like, uh- I flip, like-“ “Do you flip out?” “Yeah, I have to. I have to practice with Porter, uh, because I can’t be in the room with regular barbarian classes ‘cause I flip out too hard for the other barbarians.” “Really?” Gorgug asks, intrigued. “Yeah. ‘Cause it’s like a- like a divine thing where it’s like powered by the god of wine and, uh, and ecstasy. And so there’s a- it gets really, uh, disturbing, what I have to go through…” She trails off. “I bet it’s awesome.” Gorgug smiles and Zelda smiles back at him, a little sheepish. His face quickly turns serious as he looks down into his lap, and she frowns, confused as anxiety starts creeping in again. “Hey, um, like, this feels like an annoying thing to ask but do you, uh, do you know Penelope?” Oh, god, what if he likes Penelope and he thinks we’re friends so he can get to her through me? “Oh. Not super well. She asked me to hang out earlier today, but uhm…” “Okay, ‘cause she’s been doing some weird...stuff. Me and my friends were just, like, kinda noticing…” Oh, thank god, he doesn’t like her… is he… concerned? For me? “Yeah, I didn’t super get it, she actually asked me about you, “Why?” “And like, if we had, like, hooked up at all, or…” “Oh.” “I dunno, she like thought… “ Zelda trails off, ”it was weird.” They both laugh awkwardly. “It was weird.” “So weird.” Gorgug agrees. “I haven’t hooked up with anybody, so.” Zelda fiddles with her hoodie strings, unsure why she can’t get her mouth to just stop. “Oh, yeah, I uh-I-hkum, I know what you’re thinking, but yeah, me neither. I just like this jacket, and stuff…” “But is she, like, weird. Is she not cool?” “I don’t think, she’s like maybe.” Gorgug sighs. “I don’t wanna, like, freak you out, but I think she’s like, maybe, like, a psycho… uhm…” “Weird.” “Killer person? Like, she might be doing some crazy stuff, like putting people in… stuff.” “Oh, I’ll super- she asked me to hang out tomorrow- but I’ll… super not.” “Wait. Whe- uh, yeah, maybe you should, but also where did you- she, uh, say that she wanted to hang out?” “Just like, at school.” “Okay… cool.” Gorgug pauses, “What kinda music d’you like?” “Um, I like a lotta different stuff… screamo, I like emo, I like punk and, like, some pop-punk I like…” Zelda smiles, listing all of her favourites as she revels in being the only thing in Gorgug’s attention. “Um, what about you?” “The same stuff.” “Awesome.” She smiles, and they talk about how different metals seem to make their rages have a different vibe. 

Gorgug is sweet and attentive, the ice cream is cold, although they don’t eat a sundae but now flower-flavoured ice cream is their thing. He doesn’t seem to listen to a lot of music, but his enthusiasm is super cute and she’s already half-made a mix-tape for him by the time he offers her the last few spoons of the ice cream.

Her heart seems calm around him, and the butterflies are slowing down too. She really likes him a lot, and despite their weird date, she’s glad he finally asked her because she almost thought he would have lost interest in his newfound popularity.

As she glances at the clock above the counter, she smiles sadly. “It’s getting late.” She half-smiles and Gorgug looks like he’s sad about that too. Please walk me home, please walk me home. Her mind races and she clenches her jaw in an effort to get it to shut up. Standing up she waves at his loud but harmless friends, “Alright, well, it’s getting late and my parents get mad at me if I, like, get home too early because they’re like ’live life,’ you know, ‘rip your clothes off, feel the rush of blood and the warmth of what it means to really live’ and I’m like, Dad, shut up,” she laughs wryly, “shut up.” “Right.” Gorgug nods, having got up as she explained. “Um, my parents are gnomes.” “What?” Zelda asks, taken aback. “You guys should go home together!” Kristen shouts, slurring as she stumbles up from her seat. Zelda panics, terrified that Gorgug will laugh off Kristen and her, because she wants that so bad. “I, uh, I gotta go!” “Oh, okay,” Gorgug nods, eyes big. “It was super nice to-“ “Yeah.” Gorgug nods, happy, “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” “Yeah. I’ll see you at school.” “Awesome.” Gorgug says easily. “Awesome.” She echoes “Awesome.” Gogug says again. “Bye.” She gulps and runs off quickly, her heart racing.