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@dilutedsadness
This is toxic, but everytime I see that one of my coworkers gained weight due to not being able or motivated enough to exercise during quarantine, I really feel motivation in wanting to be the exception, the one who instead got slimmer.
Yeah, toxic AF. I feel so guilty everytime the thought crosses my head!
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I have no control.
I am not losing weight.
Everytime I see the numbers on the scale going back up again I get a sense of despair.
I am still not at a normal weight, and the goal I could kinda see within my reach a few months ago is slipping from my grasp as I keep eating away my boredom and anxiety.
I'm disgusting.
I hate myself right now.
Are we there yet? 😬
Is there even a skelly under those fingers?
No, people around me, it's too early to be concerned! I'm not even out of the overweight BMI range yet!
My ED to me after realizing I weigh the exact same as I did a year ago
Joke's on you, me being a loser would mean I'd at least been losing something... *cries in weight plateau*
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Dear Metabolism,
I am sorry for trying to kill you. I didn't mean it, I swear, it was for a greater good. Please don't leave me just yet, I am lost without you.
Sincerely,
Not Yet Skinny
Soo, there'sthis coworker? On whom I might have a sliiiiiiiiiight crush? Who is the best at his job and who I admire very much?
He told me I look beautiful.
It's five in the morning and I couldn't sleep because I've kept replaying the scene in my mind all night, and now my shift is about to begin and I can't concentrate.
People are starting to notice.
"Oh my gosh, you lost weight! You look awesome!"
"Have you gotten younger?"
"What's your secret? You look radiant!"
The recognition... it's intoxicating. I don't want to stop, I won't stop until everyone notices and the compliments switch to worry.
✨It's here✨
And it's all mine. F the quarantine, I'm still gonna run run run run run~
I've finally managed to save up enough to order my very own treadmill. It's the only thing I can think of.
When it'll arrive
How freely I'll be able to use it
It's mine
I'm gonna make so much progress
Why do I have to wait ten days for it to be delivered
No more dull moments
Anytime I'll be bored, it's gonna be treadmill time instead of fridge raiding time
Baby I'm gonna burn so many calories people will call the firefighters
...did I mention I can't wait?
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My stomach: "yo, it's lunchtime, we're supposed to be eating!"
Me: "here, have another cup of lemon water for lunch and don't say I don't spoil you!"
My stomach: 👁️👄👁️
I'm still here. Still at the same weight, yo-yoing between the same three numbers, dreaming of when I'll break this plateau.
I'm getting hopeless, my goals are never in sight and I know it's my lazy ass's fault.
🎆 New Year's Resolutions 🎆
Get to my GW
Cut down on unhealthy eating habits
Start jogging, for real this time
Sleep more
Stop impulse-buying everything
Stop wasting my money on gacha games
Maybe stop hating the person that looks back at me from the mirror everyday
Stop being so goddamn unhappy with myself!
Stop setting unreachable goals and then beating myself up about not being able to reach them
Giambattista Valli Spring 2018 Couture
Olivier Theyskens / Spring 2020 / RTW
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I've had a breakdown this evening. I was supposed to go out with my SO and some friends to exchange Christmas presents and have a pleasant evening, instead I looked at my reflection, found out I looked flabby, lumpy and bloated, tried on six pairs of pants and realized I looked disgusting no matter what I wore. Crying ensued.
My SO didn't waste time consoling me and went out anyway to see our friends so now I'm spending the evening alone at home, in my shapeless PJs, swearing I'll never eat anything anymore.
