* A R C H I V E D .

So if we extrapolate from this one-off line in episode fifteen, as well as this tweet by the creator and the answers given at this comic con panel from 2014, we can infer that this character’s relationship with salad is more complex than it first appears …

to write, draw, or whatever. have people choose a number and perhaps a character, or proceed however you wish and invent it all. 

The 11th. 

Lost at the creek. 

Above, there is an attic.

The tree is very old. 

A figure at the edge of the woods.

Horses anticipating a storm. 

One foot in another world. 

Face on the other side of a dark window. 

Driving for many hours through mountains. 

The photograph. 

In search of sea life. 

A blue tin kettle. 

Wanderer on a scorched path. 

It had no eyes. 

Please, let’s go home. 

Small birds, dry grass. 

A hero in the wrong. 

Unearthed bones. 

The sensation of falling as experienced in a dream. 

How far can you carry this?

Conversations with the crows. 

A book infested with ghosts. 

Forgetting why it mattered. 

The protection of laughter. 

Each time we climb the stairs, something changes. 

Wildness on the loose. 

The passage of time as it varies by season. 

Sunlight on rumpled sheets and the smell of pine.

I love you, they said. I love you. 

g.m. ‡ tales that weren’t meant to be told #14 (via intrusicn)

*  A VARIETY & MIXTURE OF JENNIFERS BODY PROMPTS, CHANGE PRONOUNS AS NEEDED / FITTING .

‘  hell is a teenage girl. ‘

‘  it smells like thai food in here. have you guys been fucking?  ‘

‘  you’re lime-green jello and you can’t even admit it to yourself.   ‘

‘  i’m a virgin. i’m a virgin. i’ve never even done sex. ‘

‘  do you buy all your murder weapons at home depot?   ‘

‘  god, you’re butch!  ‘

‘  i’m not even a backdoor-virgin anymore.   ‘

‘  i had to stay home and sit on a bag of frozen peas.  ‘

‘  you point them in the right direction, and shit gets real.   ‘

‘  my dick is bigger than his.   ‘

‘  oh! a puncture wound. god, that’s so emo…   ‘

‘  i recommend you shut the fuck up!  ‘

‘  you killed my fucking boyfriend!  ‘

‘  you goddamn monster, you dumb bitch!  ‘

‘  do you know how hard it is to make it as an indie band these days?   ‘

‘  satan is our only hope.  ‘

‘  and to do that, we’re going to have to butcher you. and bleed you.  ‘

‘  relax, i’m kidding about the face thing. ‘

‘  she’s just hovering… it’s not that impressive. ‘

‘  she can fly?  ‘

‘  god, do you have to undermine everything i do?   ‘

‘  you are such a player hater. ‘

‘  wow, nice come back, hannah montana.  ‘

‘  got anymore harsh digs?  ‘

‘  you know what? you were never a good friend.  ‘

‘  even when we were littler, you used to steal my toys.  ‘

‘  and now i’m eating your boyfriend.  ‘

‘  you can have anybody that you want, [name].  ‘

‘  how could i ever be insecure? i was the snowflake queen! ‘

‘  i thought you only murdered boys. ‘

‘  i go both ways.  ‘

‘  my tit.  ‘

‘  no, your heart.  ‘

‘  i am going… to eat your soul… and shit it out! ‘

‘  i mean, she’s actually evil. not high school evil.  ‘

‘  i will finish you if i have to. ‘

‘  you can barely even finish gym class.  ‘

‘  they took her in their spooky van with the windows all blacked out. ’

‘  i think i already died when you got here.  ‘

‘  but i woke up when i heard your voice.  ‘

‘  you’re killing people.  ‘

‘  no, i’m killing boys. ‘

‘  my skin is breaking out and my hair is dull and lifeess.  ‘

‘  i feel like one of the normal girls.  ‘

‘  i am a god.  ‘

‘  i had one of my night terrors again.  ‘

‘  what did you dream about?  ‘

‘  i can take care of myself. i’ve been using bowflex.  ‘

‘  i saved you because i’m a badass mom!  ‘

‘  why do you need him? huh?  ‘

‘  how are you going to get alcohol?  ‘

‘  i’ll just play hello titty with the bartender.  ‘

‘  they’re showing rocky horror at the bijou next friday night… ‘

‘  i don’t like boxing movies… ‘

‘  he thinks you’re a virgin. i heard them talking.  ‘

‘  it’s true. it’s on wikipedia.  ‘

‘  uh, okay… why don’t you narc me out?  ‘

‘  i’ve got the cops in my back pocket, [name]. ‘

‘  i’m a fucking cadet, remember?  ‘

‘  are you pms’ing or something? ‘

‘  i’m a different person now.  ‘

‘  you might get lucky for once in your miserable life! ‘

‘  i need you frightened. i need you hopeless.  ‘

‘  you need a mani bad.  ‘

‘  we come here tonight to sacrifice the body of…  ‘

‘  i’m scared of what’s happening to you.  ‘

‘  i just got aquamarine on dvd. it’s about a girl who’s, like, half sushi.  ‘

‘  ya know what this is for? huh? it’s for cutting boxes! ‘

‘  you give me such a wetty.  ‘

‘  i don’t tell whoppers, and i’m not crazy.  ‘

‘  you’re totally lesbi-gay.  ‘

‘  i think you might want to talk to the school shrink.  ‘

‘  dude, that is a hot murder weapon.  ‘

‘  those jeans are hella low. I can almost see your front butt.  ‘

‘  it’s a rock show. this is my rock look.  ‘

‘  i’ve been through the occult section of the library five times. ‘

‘  our library has an occult section?  ‘

‘  sit like a lady, no one wants to see your kiki.  ‘

‘  where… where are we going?  ‘

‘  you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.  ‘

‘  i never heard you drop the f - bomb before. ‘

‘  life is too short to be moping around.  ‘

‘  mmm, you can totally tell they’re from the city.  ‘ 

‘  what’s wrong with you? besides the obvious surface flaws.  ‘

‘  listen, it’s, uh, really dangerous out here.  ‘

‘  we can play boyfriend/girlfriend like we used to.  ‘

‘  i’m having the best day since, like, jesus invented the calendar.  ‘

‘  moveon.org.  ‘ 

‘  best friends don’t keep secrets.  ‘

‘  if you’re bitten by a demon and you live, you just might absorb some of the demon’s abilities.  ‘

‘  i think it’s important to reach out to our fans in the shitty areas, too.  ‘

‘  what’s your name again?  ‘ 

‘  pms isn’t real, [name].  ‘

‘  she must’ve had sex with a blowhole or something.  ‘ 

‘  a very bad, very damaged person…  ‘

‘ we’re family. family never gets left behind. ’

‘ time for a haircut. ’

‘ i burned your birthday cake. ’

‘ don’t you raise your voice at me, young man. ’

‘ you can stay here. for as long as you need. ’

‘ your bath is ready. ’

‘ stop squirming and let me see that cut! ’

‘ they’re being assholes, mom! ’

‘ remember to scrub behind your ears. ’

‘ hand sanitizer! we’re out of hand sanitizer! ’

‘ we lost the keys. ’

‘ get out of my room. ’

‘ where are you off to, little dude? ’

‘ you’re so annoying! ’

‘ i don’t think so, young lady. ’

‘ who broke the toilet? ’

‘ you’re one of us now. ’

‘ mom! ’

‘ want to hold my hand? ’

‘ i smell cupcakes. ’

‘ please stop screaming. ’

‘ if you don’t turn off that light and go back to your room right now… ’

‘ pull up a chair. have some breakfast. ’

‘ shut up. i’m n-not s-s-scared. ’

‘ what happened to your eye? ’

‘ honey, they’re staring. ’

‘ hey, hey. i’m not going anywhere. ’

‘ you should be in bed. ’ 

‘ get over here right now! ’

‘ that’s gonna be a no, buddy. you have a temperature. ’

‘ what is it with kids and their gadgets? ’

‘ shut up. shut up. shut up! ’

‘ don’t be sad. you can come along next time. ’

‘ go to your room. ’

‘ dad! ’

‘ did you just sass me? ’

‘ you brighten up my life, honey. ’

‘ you’re my kid. ’

‘ they can’t watch this! it’s rated r! ’

‘ does someone need a hug? ’

‘ he called me lame, honey. ’

‘ we’re hip. we’re in the know. ’

‘ do you want to hear a story? ’

‘ i’ve been texting you for ten minutes! where were you? ’

‘ i don’t wanna hug him! ’

     Making starters are hard, especially first interaction starters. Below is a list of various ideas ripped off from all sorts of cliche, and less cliche, first interaction starter ideas. These are free to use, so go wild ; add some of your own if you want to. Some may be a bit flirty, sorry.

Grocery store: Oh holy shit what that’s my cart right th— oh wait noo how awkward, haha, that’s your cart and now I’m arguing over content that’s not even mine; I’m sorry but could you maybe point in the direction of what I need?

Grocery store: I just caught you stealing something and now I’m not sure if I could yank you to the cashier or let it go because idk man fuck the system, but are you sure that’s what you want to do?

Grocery store: Wow this line is long, let’s complain together!

Grocery store: That’s MY bread, I got up early just to get that bread and now you’re trying to take it away from me

Grocery store: I can’t reach that thing, I need help!

Clothing store: I’m awkwardly stuck in something and you’re the only person around to help me, please help me out here

Clothing store: Good god my color coordination is horrible and I have no idea what to wear for that event, would you be so kind to help me out? I know that we don’t know each other, but you seem to know what you’re doing

Clothing store: That’s ! My ! Sale ! No ! You can’t have it ! 

Clothing store: Sorry for staring but wow, I’m here with friends but I have to say that you look great

College: we’re in class together and I don’t really know you’re name but now we’re stuck on a group project together and no one seems to take this seriously except for us so hey, how about those long study sessions am I right

College: we’re going on a field trip you/i don’t own a car so we need to figure something out! maybe we can co-drive?

College: I signed up for this course but I don’t know anybody so is it okay if I sit here with you?

College: I’m new here and I have no idea to get around and holy fuck I’m lost can you help me? — Wait, you also take that class?

College: You awkwardly ran into me the other day and knocked me over, but it turns out that we’re living in the same dorm so hey, since we’re sharing a kitchen how about we chat a bit?

College: You’re my new dorm mate and please don’t be the kind of person who won’t take responsibility

Cinema: Looks like we ended up in the seats next to each other and holy fuck that’s a scary movie I’m so sorry for grabbing your hand but MY GOD

Cinema: I just witnessed you getting set up by your date so I’m quietly making my way over to check if everything is alright and oh god it looks like you’re crying?? uhm?? hey how about i get us some tickets to a comedy and we try to take your mind off it maybe??

Park: I accidentally managed to knock you over while jogging/roller skating and i am so sorry please don’t tell me you’re hurt?? can i do something to make up for it??

Park: aw man !! there goes my dog !! and i am so sorry but they get so easily excited around new people and they just want to say hello —

“Hey, look at me. It’s not real. There isn’t anything there.”

“It’s okay! Nothing is in here, nothing!”

“Describe what you see to me.”

“Ssh, I don’t hear anything. We’re alone.”

“I don’t know how to make something that I can’t see go away!”

“Here, squeeze my hand. You can hold onto me. I’m real, I’m not going anywhere.”

“We’re going to play a game. Focus on yourself and the things around you. Focus on what’s real, and count. There is one book, there are two chairs. You have two arms, you have two legs. Okay? Keep counting and focusing on the things around you.”

“Take a deep breath in, that’s it, now let it out. Come on, you can do it again. Just breathe.”

“Can you hear me?”

“Sometimes, I can’t even recognize you.”

“Who are you, anymore?”

“Why are you shaking so much?”

“Hey, hey! You’re okay, you’re safe here! Please calm down, you have to breathe.”

“Here, I made you something to eat. I know you’re never hungry, but…”

“Have you had anything to drink or eat today?”

“Did you take your medicine today?”

“How did you sleep?”

“What did you do to yourself?”

“Let me see…please?”

“Here, I’ll clean and bandage it. Alright? Will you let me?”

“Why do you do this to yourself?”

“Stop, stop it! You’re hurting yourself!”

“I’ll leave the light on, okay? Look, it’s not dark.”

“I’ll stay right here. You’re not alone, okay? I’m here.”

“Hey, anxiety’s a bitch, right? I’ll go with you!”

“Hey, I’m proud of you. You did great.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“You’re not broken.”

“Wake up! It’s just a bad dream!”

“You don’t have to be afraid.”

“Come on, we need to go the hospital. You’ll be safe there.”

no one is under ANY obligation to reblog ANY callout. while callouts can be helpful and sometimes are used to spread awareness of dangerous people and intentions, this can’t be PROMISED. there have been times where callouts were based on personal problems rather than people actually being problematic; there have been callouts that were based on false accusations; and – the most IMPORTANT thing to remember – toxic people have made callouts before.