So I have some explaining to do...
Like your favourite bands, I took an unexpected hiatus*. An unexpected two year hiatus. An unexpected, unplanned two year hiatus. And like your favourite bands, I owe you an explanation...which we rarely get when bands go on hiatus, let’s be real. But you guys deserve it for hanging around. Or just forgetting to unfollow me since I stopped posting for two years.
Anyway...
Right before I fell off the face of the internet, I was going through the usual existential bullshit: who am I, what am I doing with my life, what’s the point. You know, all the stuff you’d find in an episode of One Tree Hill. I couldn’t find any new music I could really get into, my old stuff wasn’t doing it for me anymore, and I couldn’t stand sitting at my clunky ass Dell for hours trying to think of what song to post and what witty/half way decent writing bit to attach to it. So I just stopped. I left this blog, dropped off of Twitter, told Facebook to fuck off, and went about my life. This isn’t to say I stopped logging onto these sites, I totally did cuz realistically, what else was I gonna do with my time? I just couldn’t bring myself to post anything.
Then about a year ago, my best friend moved from our hometown to a big city two hours away for school and I hated that I wasn't doing anything with my life so I figured, why the hell not, I’ll move too. We ended up living in the same building two doors down from each other (not really on purpose but not really accidentally, the place was cheap and close enough to grocery stores/bars/malls etc), until she moved out about two months ago because her program was done. In the meantime, I’ve been here working a dead end job at a shitty Bed Bath and Beyond knock off store burning through my savings but having the freedom to do whatever the hell I want which usually means drinking on my balcony and still dealing with the exact same existential bullshit I was dealing with before. I realized a couple days ago that no matter how far you move, or how much you change your routine, you can’t run from the problems in your head. Which brings me to my first music post in two years (oh man this feels like being a born again virgin! hello second chance!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IqCfxgKZd8
Show Me What I’m Looking For by Carolina Liar is a song I’ve had since One Tree Hill was still on the air because I discovered it through the show. I’m still constantly looking for new music but one day last week I was cruising through my iTunes and I had an overwhelming urge to listen to this song. I don’t usually believe in signs but fuck, that urge was dead on the money. This song sums up basically everything I’ve been struggling with for the past two years and sings it in the simplest way possible: show me what I’m looking for. I’ve been lost for a long time and this song has tripped a switch in my head and reminded me that I can’t stay stuck in my head anymore because I seriously need help figuring things out. It helps too that it’s fucking triumphant sounding with the piano/guitar combo, the bell, the choir insert near the end, the drums, the vocals, fuck! Hopefully you guys have a song like this that you can blast through your car speakers and sing scream to. If not, I’ll share this one. And whatever it is, I hope you guys find what you’re looking for.
C.
*side note 1: I plan on coming out of the whole hiatus thing and hopefully getting into a routine of posting once a week. It’ll take a while for me to get adjusted to it so don’t get all sassy if I skip a week or two or five. I can just promise that there isn’t another unannounced hiatus in the near future. Thanks for hanging in there guys, you’re all fabulous gems.
**side note 2: the fuck is with this spotify and soundcloud linking bullshit?!?!? when did this happen?! I am not down with these fucking sites that you have to make an account for just to listen to a full song. What the fuck Tumblr?! What the fuck. All of my posts will now have youtube links instead because fuck spotify and soundcloud (unless someone can tell me how to upload music that I may or may not have “illegally” downloaded without getting in shit by the Tumblr police.)





























