Digging Up the Past

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Have an anxiety attack at your desk at work but have to keep working so no one realizes you're a basket case

Why people can't deal with the consequences to their own actions.

Every morning I wake up and I feel like crying. I miss my college friends and mentors so much but I don't know how to go spend with them without it being weird and like I have no life. I'm so shy and I just assume I'm a waste of space.

Tell everyone what they want to hear, plaster a smile on my face, assume my rightful position as doormat and just give up on growing a backbone or any measure of self confidence or boundaries.

My first Christmas away from my family this year. It's coming up so quick. And it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to go spend Christmas with my batshit crazy mother in law who hates me. Almost every time we spend time with here I'm guaranteed to have an anxiety attack. Every fucking time. And the idea of spending my favorite holiday with her sounds like a fucking nightmare. And every time I remember that I have to do that I'm just done for. Gone. Out. Omg I'm freaking out just thinking about it. I hate this.