MEGA - BITCH.

NICK › he's lost track of how long this has been going on for. he's sure he could look at his shitty little desk calendar, see all the little green x's crossing out the day instead of his usual black, figure it out. what's incredible to him is how it still feels so ... novel. she's gotten bolder, lately — today, especially, both of them, messy in their kissing, in their desperate groping. heather'd had her legs wrapped around his waist only moments after the door had been locked. the very calendar he'd been musing on, shoved unceremoniously off the side of the desk so he could sit her atop it.

she has one leg over his shoulder now, giving him easy access to her cunt — three fingers pistoning in and out, nick's positively savoring the sounds she makes, the muffled cries from behind her own hand. he'd batted her hand away, not satisfied with letting her get herself off. (he had some pride here, in the skill of his own mouth, his fingers.) he'd brought her to the brink once, twice already, but the pleading ... he'd be a filthy fucking liar if he didn't say hearing her beg went right to his cock.

a palm pressed to his still clothed groin, attempting some, any, kind of relief from the strain. (NICK ... he's gotten so used to the sweet voice calling him MR. DUNNE. she still pulls it out, at the start of these meetings, whenever she wants to tease him.) she's always so firmly in control ... it's nice to have that power, now. to be the one properly in charge. of her, of her pleasure, of whether she gets to come or not. it scratches that little itch in the back of his brain, the one that desperately needs someone to need him.

satisfied with his own attention — and aching to sink himself into her hot core, nick's other hand reaches up to rest on her mound. his thumb finds her clit, pressing in hard, before stroking. " you can, baby, you can do it, " he says, almost surprising himself with how husky his voice sounds. he turns his head slightly, just enough to press a kiss to her inner leg, to nip at the soft skin, maybe leave a little bruise. his movements pick up speed, then, as well, both the digits inside her, and his thumb against her clit. though he feels her clench around him, she's not quite there yet.

she's getting close, at least, and the pleading look on her face is beautiful. (jesus fuck, when's the last time he's felt this goddamned horny?) the sounds are obscene, the slick drag of his fingers, and her soft little puffs of breath, the little whimpers when he crooks his fingers just right. nick licks his lips, transfixed on the image of his fingers disappearing into her cunt again, again, again. how wet she is for him — and he looks up at her, slowing the ministrations on her clit, but not stopping just yet. " if i go back down, will you come for me? "

she would be embarrassed to beg if she couldn’t see how it affects him.   the twitch of his cock beneath his own hand,  even with the tight denim constricting him.   she wonders if he’s leaking precum into his boxers,  the wet spot growing with every passing moment.   heather has half a mind to reach out and check.   the thought dissipates when nick presses against her clit.     ' oh,  fuck. '     

her head falls back to the desk,  a whine escaping when he nips at her skin,  his stubble rubbing against her leg.   nick moves faster now,  fingers pumping in and out of her cunt,  thumb stroking her clit.   it feels incredible.   and yet,  it still isn’t enough to push her over the edge.   what the fuck?

heather lets out a frustrated noise when nick slows again,  ready to complain about him denying her a third time,  how unfair it is to keep teasing her like this.   then the question comes,  his voice steady,  and he’s already moved to settle between her legs when she manages to nod.   yes,  please.   he spent some time down there earlier,  and she’s eager for a repeat performance.   nick must be too,  based on the look in his eyes when she meets his gaze.   it makes her shiver in anticipation.

what’s happening to us?

so you’re not sleeping, you’re not having sex. sounds like you’ve been a complete fucking disaster without me.

you know i love you. right?

only thing to remember is take your time, even if there is no time.

i shouldn’t have to fight this hard to be seen.

all of a sudden, everything i thought i was fighting for is gone.

when i think of something to say, it doesn’t seem like enough.

i feel like everything is boring me. 

don’t do anything stupid. or brave.

you can’t imagine what i’ve done to get this far.

i was trying to be a low-maintenance girlfriend.

we’re just friends. it’s… nice. 

i know this seems like the end of the world, but you will get over it. probably sooner than you think.

i know all of the worst things about you. the shit that no one else knows. and i still love you. that’s why we don’t work with anyone else.

i know the difference between someone who cares about me and someone who doesn’t. i’ve been on the other side enough times.

i’ve never seen anybody worse at being in a happy relationship.

is it always like this? does it get worse?

i was too busy dying.

you’re the scariest person here.

i cannot exist with this secret anymore. you don’t understand.

it really is just us against the world, isn’t it?

you’re nowhere near as nice as you fucking think you are. 

you fight dirty. you use people’s worst shit against them.

i’m not your therapist, i should be paid for the shit i have to talk you through.

i honestly adore you.

sometimes i feel like you say stuff just to be a dick, like you store things up and make me feel like shit for no reason.

can it please be enough now?

i never wanted any of this. i didn’t wanna be at war with you.

i loved you. even though i knew exactly who you were, all of the worst things about you. so why do you punish me for that?

i feel sad all the time, and i don’t know why.

it’s not my fault that you feel like shit.

not everything’s a fucking joke just because you are.

i just ruin things, and there’s not even a fucking point to me.

i don’t feel normal. i feel like i’m nothing all the time.

there was a time when i’d do anything for you.

whose blood is that?

it’s a forest full of nightmares. 

only person that i care about is you.

one day you’re gonna make friends with people you actually care about. 

why do you insist on being the most annoying person in every room?

you know you’re a little fucked up?

you have so much love to give. you don’t have to give it all to me.

you can’t move forward if you’re looking back.

you make everyone sad. you make everyone fight.

i wanna feel like a good person again.

all this running and hiding has made me so miserable.

what i do know is that i don’t want to keep hurting you. 

what if i’m just as bad as everyone always said i was? what if i’m even worse than that?

you helped me realize something pretty big about myself.

you know we’d be awful together, right?

you look half dead already. i’ll be quick with the last half.

i think better when i work with my hands, so leave me the fuck alone.

you gotta die somewhere. what does it matter where?

i thought i’d get it right the next time around, but i made it worse.

sometimes, you have to do horrible things. no matter how bad you feel.

there’s something in your eyes, i could tell that you’ve been through stuff. 

i could tell that you were dangerous.

i’m here. and i love you. and i am so, so sorry that i hurt you.

we are all we have. us.

i’m not having a good night.

maybe that’s your cover, hiding in plain sight.

i don’t consider it cheating if it’s more of an exit ramp.

i need you to get your shit together. okay?

women kill for power.

i’m cute, i like when people notice.

is there a world where this works?

has the closeness of death made you feel more alive?

we can be friends because we like each other. not just because we worry about each other. right?

i think i just stopped caring if people think i’m a piece of shit.