steadfast

“Awesome. I’ll let you know what I decide on.” He’d probably have to look through her collection and read a few descriptions before he decided. Mysteries always held his attention the most. Also, books with matte covers, for some reason. “That’s a good challenge. I’m going to try it!” He chuckled lightly. Cooper was a bit competitive, so he could see himself trying hard to beat his last time. “Really? Who? Are they vets themselves?” He didn’t know many people around town yet, but he was still curious to see if he’d met the person she was referring too. “Hmm, learning how to instal IVs sounds interesting.” He meant that. “Awesome. When should we watch it? Right now? I’m free right now.”

Darcy nodded.  She was perfectly okay with that and she knew that Cooper was capable of letting her know one way or another.  If he needed advice or direction on which book to select, she had no doubt he’d ask for it. She certainly had plenty of options so finding a decent one shouldn’t be that hard. “I’m sure you’d be able to do it,” she admitted with a small smile.  “Trey Wright and yes. He’s a vet.  A good one from what I hear.”  She knew plenty of people around town though, aside from just the handful she was related to and was happy to make introductions, wherever necessary.  “I think we’ll leave that for another day. The movie is about all I have capacity for but now is fine. Just don’t get mad if I knock off after a bit because work has been taking all my energy.”

He nodded, and sat down next to her. The cold concrete step making his ass immediately throb, but he didn’t mind. His legs felt better. He had been on his feet the past few hours and getting a chance to sit made him feel normal. “Locker room is not bad, though everyone comes in and out.” He shrugged, his hands in his lap. “I don’t tend to get to explore the hospital that much. Constantly feel like I’m being pulled every which way.” He didn’t mind it. The days went by quick, and he definitely enjoyed being busy. Most days. On the random days the exhaustion hit him, he didn’t really know why he had chosen this profession so late in his life. 

The concrete definitely was comfortable but there was something about the hardness that steadied her in a shaky world.  If she’d truly wanted to relax or nap, she would have found somewhere else to inhabit.  She didn’t want to get so comfortable that getting home became an impossibility.  Exhaustion could be a funny thing.  “It’s definitely not the most private place,” she admitted.  “I mean, it’s okay but if you’re just wanting a moment of peace to gather your thoughts the locker room definitely isn’t it. You can’t even grab a shower in true privacy much less have a breakdown on the benches.”  She nodded at what he was saying. It was definitely hard, especially when you were still learning and getting pulled from case to case. “It’ll ease up once you complete your residency. Are you thinking about staying here or do you already have a different hospital lined up?”  It seemed a fair enough question.  

I mean, they’re pre-schoolers so exposing them to satanic energy was never on my agenda. I’m thinking more along the lines of fun fall arts and crafts, maybe coloring in some pumpkins while watching the Charlie Brown Halloween special. 

I don’t think so. I mean, there are some times where innocent things are just that but there will always be people trying to twist it in some way.  Charlie Brown is always a safe route to go. I mean, pretty much everyone  loves Charlie Brown.

I’m not. I grew up around a lot of people who did not hesitate to call out bullshit when they saw it and would not hold back from telling someone like it is. Now, I like to think I have a little more tact than my dad does, but the apple doesn’t always fall far from the tree. It’s worth sticking up for yourself sometimes. Most times, even. I guess that can be true, yeah, depends on how you look at it and how someone handles what’s thrown at them. I’m glad to hear it, I think everyone seemed to have a good time. You at least have to keep them around until this weekend, then you can start getting some mums, instead, at least it’s still a fall flower. Weird, but not unbelievable. Probably has more to do with like… the amount of light reflected or something, maybe?

I think that is a healthy environment. I mean, more so than a family or community where people turn a blind eye to everything. Sometimes, we desperately need someone to give it to us straight.  It can help us stop doing whatever we’re doing and get on the right path.  I think that tact is rather important when doing all of that though. I mean, things tend to go over better with a lump of sugar.  More times than not, it doesn’t fall far from the tree.  Hopefully, you picked up other positive traits as well. I mean, do you look more like your mom or your dad?  I think that we all have to hold our own and stick up for ourselves when the situation calls for it.  We all handle things differently and that’s okay.  I think that there is no harm in trying to hold onto both. I mean, the mums do tend to last for a while.  That seems like a valid argument. I don’t suppose I have an argument in any other direction.

It’s better than laying there awake and letting your thoughts get the best of you, although I’m sure that being exhausted the next day isn’t the world’s best feeling, either. That’s where a whole lot of coffee or energy drinks come in really handy, though. A little reevaluation never really hurt anyone, as long as they’re still staying true to who they are and what they want. I think at the end of the day, as important as it is to be yourself, it’s also important to understand that people can change and grow and become different versions of themselves. In a good way, though. I definitely don’t complain about them when they come around, especially since regular weekends seem so short lived.

I think that we’ve all done it before though. I mean, I wish I could say that it wasn’t any sort of regular occurrence but the nature of my job is that my mind is literally always overthinking each shift and wondering what more that I could have done.  I definitely am grateful for those.  I tend to go the coffee route versus the energy drink way since I’ve read of some pretty horrific side effects of long term drinking of those. I think different things work for different people.  It’s definitely okay to constantly be checking in with yourself and deciding if you want to keep on the same path or chose a different one. There is no shame in wanting to make different choices, choose different adventures.  We definitely don’t have that many. It’ll be November before we see another one. Though I suppose you technically get fall break for your kid but there are no guarantees as a parent you also get the time off.

Needless to say, Merrock Hospital Center was quite different from the hospitals that Jacob had worked in back when he was in London. For starters, the hospital here was much smaller as it only catered to the small population here in Merrock. The staff, as well-trained as they were, they did not act like they were better than anyone else. There was a sense of family here, all of them working towards the mutual goal of serving their community. It was the opposite of what he saw in London, where people were constantly competing with each other on who could be better, often losing sight of the real reason why most of them got into medicine in the first place - to help people. Clearly, his father had lost sight of it, and that prompted Jake to pack up his belongings, and take off without a word. Thankfully, he had found the best hospital he could ever work in, where people were more focused on compassion than competition. He liked working alongside those people, which included Darcy. “Yeah, that’s true.” Jake agreed to her words with a nod of his head, though he could not help but wonder how she had ended up to be so mature, and almost philosophical, at such a young age. He figured that she might have lived a very different life from him, but he was thankful that despite the differences in their upbringing, their paths had crossed. Working alongside Darcy had always been an honour, because she care to took for her patients often reminded him of his younger self. “And even though the system is incredibly flawed, we all try to make it better because that’s also a part of our job. Or at least, I think that’s how it should be. People like you certainly make this flawed system a tad better, and I can’t help but wish there were more people like you, people who care deeply about the patients, and put their experiences first. You nurses are a force to be reckoned with, you know? It really is a shame that you don’t get paid as much as us surgeons. The highest paying job never mattered to me, because I didn’t need the money. My family was quite wealthy, but that also made me aware of my privilege. While I am happy with my current salary, i feel as though it is my duty to do good with the money that I inherited from my family, money that I didn’t earn.” He explained with a shrug of his shoulders. “I don’t think I would have too much trouble getting them to approve it. God knows that my arrival in Merrock has brought so many new patients to the hospital. I’m one of the highest billing surgeons here, so if they want me to stay here, and keep making them more money, the board would have to approve it. As much as I hate to deal with the bureaucracy, I do have some cards up my sleeve. I’m not afraid to play politics if it means that I can actually do some good, and help people who actually need to be helped.” After hearing her encouraging words, Jacob was certainly feeling confident about setting up the pro bono surgery fund. “Thank you, love. It means a lot coming from you. I’ll let you know if I ever need anything from you, but until then, I’ll just stick to surgery.” He stated with a soft chuckle. “Are you sure though? It’s the least I could do for all the positivity you’ve inspired in me, love.”

Darcy didn’t have a lot of experience at other hospitals.  She’d only ever been one other place when she was going through nursing training. She’d learned that each facility had their own sort of atmosphere.  She loved the fact that Merrock was a smaller, more rural hospital.  By necessity there were more staff than she could ever meet but she generally felt like everyone she met was there for the right reasons.  If anyone was looking to become rich, they were choosing the wrong hospital.  There were plenty that would have paid significantly more.  Darcy didn’t care about those things though.  Of course, she needed enough to survive but she was content to live frugally.  Things were nice but they weren’t the most important thing in the universe. She happiest when focusing on others those she treated high amongst the list of those she was caring for.  She had the utmost respect for anyone who chose to do the same. The fact that Jake clearly had advanced talents and chose to bring them there said a lot about the kind of person he was.  She didn’t consider herself especially gifted as a nurse. She, certainly, could do any of the things that were expected of her but she wasn’t going to win any awards for changing the game. She was, however, empathetic and compassionate toward those she dealt with.  Science could only go so far and where it was lacking, she hoped her spirituality and care could help.  “I feel like its part of the life mission that was assigned to me. I mean, I might not be able to create earth saving scientific solutions but if I can help and provide comfort to them then I feel like I’ve done my part,” she admitted. “I really do appreciate you saying that though. For me, it’s a team effort. We do what we can but without the whole team of nurses, doctors, surgeons and everyone else we’d hardly be able to succeed at what we’re trying to do. I know that a lot of people would be excited about raises and I would be lying if I said they were nice but at the end of the day, it’s not the most important thing. I think that if you want more than you have to sometimes have extraordinary skills and nowhere to take them. I can’t say that I’m any more skilled at my job than anyone else.  Surgeons have so much more at stake with their job and I completely understand why they’re paid the way that they are.” She smiled, nodding at his words. It might have come across as bragging from some people but he was just stating the truth. She knew that they were aiming to keep him on the staff and he likely did have the pull to get the job done. There was always the give and take, attempts to get the other to back down but if they felt he might actually leave they would give him what he wanted. “The trick is to beat them at their game to get what you want without something else getting removed or shut down so they can afford it,” she admitted. “Smaller hospitals don’t have as much funding as the big ones for these projects but there is no reason compromises can’t be made. I don’t envy the people who have to make the decision over what gets funding and what doesn’t.”  When and if there was no need for them to lose money, there wouldn’t be an issue.  “Perhaps, you could use grants to fund it so that nothing else has to get cut to make it happen.”  She smiled, taking another sip of her drink. She waved her hand dismissively. “This is what I’m here for. I never need anything special.”

There’s a lot of that new agey thing where people try to heal their inner child now, and I actually like that. You get fucked up from the early days and you can never fully get that back, but there’s room to get that back. We’re lucky to have that, and I’m glad that my nephew and his kids and then if Clem has any kids they’ll get the chance to keep that going on for generations and generations to come. And then some things keep reinventing themselves over and over again, because we can’t get rid of the power that makes them sound appealing.

I fully support anything someone needs to do to heal themselves. I might not personally utilize all of them but if it brings them closer to wholeness it’s a positive thing.  I hate that for people. I mean, I know that there is absolutely nothing I can do to save ever person in the universe but sometimes I wish that I could protect all the kids.  Your nephew is very lucky to have you. You never know when the universe might come full circle and your nephew might be the one looking after, teaching life lessons to a kid of your own.  That is the way the universe works there. We’re constantly creating and destroying in repetition.  

OPEN STARTER

“I’m not much of a baker, but I swear this is safe to eat.” Ali presented the box of chocolate chip cookies, hoping like hell that someone would take it. It had been a while since she’d baked anything, but since she’d gone a little overboard, she needed to share them. 

@merrock·

Darcy had been raised to be polite when people presented her with food. She had eaten plenty of questionable things though the years because of her dad’s church.  There was nothing overtly questionable about these cookies.  “They seem nice,” she admitted with a nod, reaching to grab one and taking a bite. “They taste like chocolate chip cookies to me. That’s usually a good sign.”

I don’t know, I’ve met the adults who clearly grew up after that, and…they’re not fun. Snakes for sure, bears we tried to avoid as much as we could. Yeah, it’s a good place to grow up for him and have the life that Cage and I had. Well, I think it’s about the same no matter what- Mister Goody Two Shoes. Well, yeah, but I mean specifically in the application of morality lessons, we teach the same things in different ways- don’t talk to strangers, don’t have sex before marriage, all that kind of bullshit stuff.

Growing up without a proper childhood, doesn’t tend to make for great adulthoods. I mean, I can only be grateful that my parents didn’t ask me (or my siblings) to grow up too quickly.  I certainly feel for those who didn’t have the same opportunities though. I’d personally try and avoid both as best as I could but you can only do so much.  It’s honestly really special that you guys had that though and that you get to keep it for future generations to enjoy.  I have no choice but to take your word on that.  Yeah, I mean, people try their best to teach the same old lessons but as much as we might like to hold onto the old ways, the times are simply different.

While his parents had never told him that he had to become a doctor, it was their insistence that he begin volunteering at the hospital that had led him to eventually come to that decision on his own. Perhaps that had been their plan all along, Jake would not know for sure. But either way, it was no secret that surgery had always been his passion. Even at a young age, when he had heard the stories of his father, and his uncle’s days at work, he had been fascinated by how they could cut just treat their ailing patients by cutting them open, removing whatever was causing their illness, repairing whatever was broken, and closing them back up. There was a part of him that always saw himself doing the same, and when he had started volunteering, he knew that it was his calling. It had to have been a sign from the universe. But once he had become a surgeon, once he had completed his clinical trials, once he had published his research paper, and did go down in history, he had seen what real change he could bring. He had made such a big difference for so many families, given a future to so many children who would not have thought of having one, and it was safe to say that he wanted to keep doing that in any way that he could. Even though he had walked away from the career, and the shadows of his father, Jake hadn’t walked away from his accomplishments, nor his passion. He still wanted to make a difference, and that was why he continued to work as hard as he did even to this day. “I guess you’re right about that, Darcy. We don’t have to have just one purpose. Even if we feel like we’ve fulfilled our purpose, there’s always more that we could do. When I was volunteering at the hospital as a kid, I saw far too many kids my own age who were waiting on a transplant. Although we had the NHS in the UK making things more affordable for our people, the scarcity of transplant organs was a sad reality. That’s why I wanted to tackle that issue, and I did. I’ve helped so many children, so many families… find hope again, and I didn’t charge them a dime because I didn’t need to. The NHS took care of it. But now that I live here in America, and I’ve witnessed how the healthcare system seems to exist for the sole puprose of making a profit. When I brought my synthetic hearts over to America, I was offered millions of dollars by so many medical device companies. But turned them all down. I don’t need their money. I didn’t get into medicine to make a profit. I did it because I wanted to help people, and if it means that I have to sacrifice making a profit then so be it. I feel like that could be my next purpose though - making healthcare affordable. I’m not going to lie. I have been thinking about setting up a pro bono surgery fund at the hospital, specifically for my synthetic heart transplants. Considering that I’m entitled to a large trust fund that I’ve never really needed to use, I could certainly put that to good use now, you know? But for some reason, I feel a little hesitant about taking it up to the administration. I don’t know, I want to do good… but I don’t want to deal with the bureaucracy.” He explained with a shrug of his shoulders. “But I’m no genius, Darcy. I just have deep pockets, a passion for science, and a desire to do good.” And that pretty much summed him as a person. “You really think so? If I birthday wish were to come true though, Darcy, you’ll be the first one to know. And I’ll treat you to whatever you want, no questions asked.” 

Hospitals hadn’t been a substantial part of Darcy’s life until she’d gone to college and got into the nursing program. The number of times she’d actually set foot in one until after her path had been chosen were few and far between. She had never had much need of it for herself. She’d gone a few times when her siblings had been born or when they were visiting church members so her father could pray with them. There had been a time or two they’d delivered toys at Christmas to children in the pediatric ward. It felt like another life time when she looked back. She spent more time between the walls there than she did in her own home.  It was somewhere that she felt useful though and that was all she ever really wanted to be. She didn’t have much concern for notoriety. She simply wanted to be there for the people who needed her most and do what she could to provide them comfort in the roughest days.  She felt like she actually was making a difference in the lives of those she came into contact with.  This career and everything that it entailed was her choosing and she was grateful for being able to forge her own path.  It helped that she had managed to find hospital that put her close to her grandfather and lots of extended family. There were times that she missed the safety of her large family being nearby but she didn’t regret her decision at all. There was a time and a place to spread one’s wings and coming to Merrock had been that. It allowed her to return to her familial roots and follow her professional ambitions. “It would be disappointing if we were only meant for one thing in our lives and then we were done,” she admitted.  “I think that we try and simplify it sometimes but life is fairly complex. I definitely envy those who get to work in better health systems. Ours is incredibly flawed but I feel like the flaws are all the more reason to be part of it to try and find solutions and give greater access to those who need it.  Sometimes, it’s really not even about profit. I mean, sure need the basic necessities to survive but for me, this has never been about a desire to be rich. I don’t know anyone who is exactly rich as a nurse but I could see it as a surgeon.  It says a lot about you that you’d prefer to do what you can to help versus looking for the highest paying job.”  She smiled, nodding at his idea of doing pro bono surgery. She thought it was great. She did know that there would probably be some pushback from the higher ups but it was a fight worth fighting. “You could really make a difference here with something like that.  It would probably even bring in new patients from elsewhere just to get that sort of treatment. The approval process would be the hard part. For what it’s worth, I’d be willing to help in any way that I can. I mean, I’d do anything for my patients.”   She didn’t know what it was like to have deep pockets or the ability to do anything she wanted because of it.  She envied him in a way.  “There are worse things a guy could be than motivated for good with the means to make it happen.  – I don’t really need anything special.  I’m just happy for you if your things work out for you.”

Luke had put his phone into his pocket, along with shoving both hands in both pockets as he walked over to her. She had seen her around, but never formally introduced himself. It was always a busy hospital. Not nearly as some he had heard about in the big cities, but there was always someone to take care of. He understood the feeling of a rough shift. He tended to have those pretty regularly. As a resident, he was still in the learning process. “Yeah.” He waved off the phone call from before. “I’m okay. You mind if I sit?” He said, rocking on his feet for a second. “Haven’t sat down in a while, and that concrete step looks comfortable.”

Darcy made an effort to get to know anyone she came into contact with at the hospital in any regular frequency but there were far too many people in there for her to truly know everyone. There were a lot of people that she hadn’t directly worked with but saw in passing. If she saw them on the street, she could have identified them as having worked there but she didn’t know much beyond that.  This man was one of those cases.  She didn’t have to know someone in order to be kind to them. That was simply who she was.  “No,” she said with a nod, gesturing to the space next to her.  “I don’t mind at all. We all need to stop and get some fresh air sometimes.”  She let out a sigh before offering him a gaze. “This is one of the better places to decompress when you need an escape from inside I’m sure you’ve found your own little spots though.”

No, I wouldn’t really go out of my way to be nasty to them for no reason what so ever. If someone picks a fight or decides to be an asshole for some reason, I won’t say that I won’t fight back, but life’s too short to pick fights with people who just honestly aren’t worth it, you know? I figure sometimes it hurts more than getting something, too – and definitely doesn’t give the other person the satisfaction of getting a rise out of you, which is exactly what they want. It was nice, the bands were good, maze was fun, we got some flowers, no complaints on my end. I’m glad to hear that you got out, not so much about working a lot, though. Do you believe in all that? Full moon craziness?

Most people have a method to their madness even if we don’t understand it. I honestly think that you’re a good guy but I also know you’re no floor mat. You wouldn’t tolerate some of the things other people (like me) probably would simply look the other way about.  I definitely prefer to pick and choose my battles and most of them aren’t worth my time. I always have to ask what I’d accomplish by doing things.  Everything has potential to hurt.  I don’t know that we can really avoid having a reaction at times but we try.  The music and the maze was great. I certainly filled my house with some fresh flowers. Now I just want to keep them alive as long as I can and then maybe I’ll dry them.  This is the life of a nurse. I definitely believe that the moon has an effect on people.  There is no scientific proof of the effect it has on humans but they’ve proven that it does cause affects in organisms and plants.

Those are normally the nights where I just give up, get out of bed, and find something else for my brain to focus on. Sometimes it works. I guess there’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want, and knowing what you need, as long as it’s something attainable. I’ve met a lot of people who are chasing the dream without paying attention to the reality, not just in relationships but anything. Alright, to be fair it’s not really a fantasy, per se, so much as just an example, the kinda mundane, every day stuff that you don’t always think about when you think about a life partner. Or a right now partner. I think there’s a lot of people out there who do everything they can to not be simple, and I don’t understand it. I still get excited about long weekends, in my big age.

I normally just grab a book. I might not get up but I’ll lay in bed for hours and finish a book if I can’t shut my brain down. It’s definitely led to more than a handful of tired days.  It’s important to know who and what you’re about. I mean, yes, you do have to be realistic and flexible at times but there is absolutely nothing wrong with being self-aware to know what you’re looking for or not looking for. There comes a point where you do have to maybe reevaluate from time to time though.  You have to dream big but keep your eyes open so to speak.  You have to let people understand and do things as they understand them.  Long weekends will always be special.

It was a really good and fun adventure, but no. There weren’t real monsters, at least nothing that we actually saw, not even moose. I’m glad that I had that life, is all, and I’m glad that my nephew has something similar now, eve though he’s getting to be, well, older now. Well, there are, but not the type of golden boy I’ve been in my life, I’m sorry to report. I just think the world saw things differently then, right? There are things we let children see now that we never would have 100 years ago, the reverse can also be true.

I’m relieved to hear that your sense of imagination wasn’t lacking. Can you even picture a childhood where your imagination only put dull ideas into your head? Not seeing any moose seems a little sad. What about bears or snakes?  It’s honestly great that your nephew gets to experience that and explore the same woods and fields that you and Cage did. I suppose that being a golden boy could mean a lot of things; different things, depending on who you’re speaking about or to.  The world is always changing.  I am pretty sure that there are things that I’ve seen as an adult that I wouldn’t have been able to see as a woman 100 years ago. Maybe less so you as a man but I suppose there are a few things.

Jacob had always known that he was meant to be a doctor, not just because it ran in the family with his father, and his uncle, but also because he had developed the inherant need to help people, to make a difference in the world somehow. What starting out as wanting to help people, eventually turned into something more. He had been quick to realize that the medical sciences hadn’t been all that advanced at the time, and watching his father and uncle working towards addressing the gaps in the research had caused him to want to do the same. By the time he was in medical school, he had decided that he wanted to have a surgical career. While he had dabbled with general surgery, and neurosurgery while he was a resident, he had settled on cardiothoracic surgery, wanting to specialize in congenital heart defects in infants and young children. Soon enough, he had been offered a research grant, which he had used towards creating 3-D printed synthetic hearts to be used in treating patients who suffered from heart defects. Things had been going well for the most part, but the stress of working in a high stress environment hadn’t been all that good on his mental health. He had to leave, and had somehow managed to find himself in this little town. While he did not get to continue his research here, he still felt like his expertise were being put to good use by the hospital. He was still helping people, and making a difference, just as he had wanted to. That was all that mattered to him. “Purpose…” Jake repeated the other’s words for a moment, pondering what had been his purpose in life. “For the longest time, I believed that my purpose was to dedicate my life to the advancement of medicine. Volunteering at the pediatrics ward when I was only a teenager, I realized that there were a lot of children who were waiting on a transplant because they were born with heart defects. It really changed my view on things, and I wanted to make sure that transplants weren’t the only option for them. I trained in treating congenital heart defects, got into researching bio-printing, and came up with the synthetic hearts that can be used in place of transplants. But now that I’ve done it, I don’t know what’s next for me.” The smile on his lips did not fade as he spoke, considering that even though he did not know what was next for him in life, he had no regrets about what he had walked away from. He had done what was necessary for his mental health, and now he was living his happiest life here in Merrock. “I wish I could tell you what I had wished for. It’s probably a little pathetic. You might laugh. I’ve always been a practical guy, and I never believed in making wishes. But this year, I don’t know what happened… there was a part of me that felt like there was something missing in my life, and I made that my wish.” 

In truth, Darcy didn’t know what she would have been if she hadn’t chosen nursing as her chosen career path.  Her parents had always encouraged her to make her own path and when she’d found her interest in serving others, it just had made sense.  While some parents might have pushed for her to make a different choice, maybe even stay at home and simply be a mother and wife like her mother had been, they hadn’t forced that on her.  When she’d first suggested that she wanted to pursue nursing, they’d validated it as a choice and even suggested that perhaps the pull towards it was God given.  She might not have come from doctors or scientists but she was certainly supported and encouraged every step of the way.  As long as she was happy and fulfilled, there certainly wasn’t going to be any complaints from them.   She was focused more on patient care and compassion than earth-shattering discoveries but she was grateful, as a nurse, to get to work with some of the best surgeons and doctors in their individual fields. She didn’t have to go down in history as solving problems but she was happy to be in the room when people’s lives were changed for good.  There was magic in seeing people arrive broken physically or mentally and slowly built back until they were whole again.  The good days more than outnumbered the bad but there was still innate stress. She knew that mental health was just as important for them as it was for the patients. If they allowed themselves to be overworked, overburdened and never take personal time they would have lost their minds.    “I think that perhaps, we’re meant for more than one purpose or one plan,” she admitted. “Maybe we are just meant to get the ball rolling on some things.  The universe has a way of bringing the people in who are meant to finish things.  Sometimes, we’re meant to return and finish things at a different time. The universe really has it’s own timing.   I’ve seen far too many children suffering while waiting.  Creating other options is half the solution, making it affordable is another.  I got into nursing to help those who needed it most and sometimes, it feels like I’m fighting a losing battle against greed and profit.  Geniuses like you come up with these great solutions and only a fraction of those who need it most in the world ever even have it suggested. It’s the greatest travesty.”  She  definitely did think he was a genius for what he’d done.  “I have no doubt that your next great idea is only a matter of time though.”   She put her book to the side completely giving up on it as the conversation continued. She nodded to his words, completely understanding where he was coming from with his wish. “There is absolutely nothing pathetic about that.  I think you’re probably not the only person in the world who feels like there is something missing at times.  I like to think that eventually that hole will be filled though.”

I wouldn’t really go out of my way to be nasty to them, but I can’t say that I would go out of my way to be nice to them, either. I’d probably just nothing them, I think I’m that kind of person. That’s my limit, is just giving people nothing. I figure it’s better than being an absolute asshole to someone, so I’m not going to feel too bad about it. I’d probably end up losing my mind, but no, they’re great. It’s been alright to balance so far, and I still get time to enjoy life things, like the Festival this weekend, which has been a lot of fun. Did you get out to enjoy it?

I honestly can’t imagine a scenario where you would go out of your way to be nasty to someone. I mean, I’ve always gotten the vibe that you are the kind of ·person Who does precisely what he wants and says precisely what he wants to say but not the kind of person who would be cruel just because. I think giving nothing is a pretty decent choice of times. We can’t have you lose your mind or becoming that. I’m glad that you managed to get a little time. I did the best I could to go out and enjoy it. I’ve been working a lot this week though which is crazy. I think I heard there’s a full moon coming this weekend so it’s probably only gonna get worse.