just a little older, that's all.

Actually, yes. There was a period of my life... early high school, I had acne and went through one of those awkward periods where I didn't feel good in my skin. Then my mother got me some treatment and my face cleared up and I was never insecure again. Except for when I moved here, since I was starting over. So there you go, insecurity can be overcome. I do. You have to growl when you talk, overenunciate your words, point a lot, and furrow your brow.

I know it's a real lived experience, but thinking of you as a teenager is kind of weird. Like you weren't born as a full grown man in a nice suit? Huh, I guess everyone is new at something once or twice in their lives, even you. But now you're like a staple around town. Raf, think about who you're talking to. I can't intimidate a kitten.

Yeah, when Ronan comes to work with me, I get him situated on the bandsaw and tell him to have a blast with it -- he's really good, I think he might be able to make a career out of it. No, I just mean that I'm mostly back to work these days, so I try to behave myself. Oh, right, so basically the Spring Fling for you is like... every other day that ends in Y, except you have to be social and people are more eager to buy since it's for a good cause?

I hear when they're that age, their fingers grow back. Don't google it to fact check, I'm your big brother and you know I'm right 100% of the time, so don't test me. Which by the way, I'm great at pretending like I want to talk to people. They don't even know that I'm dying inside because I can't stand small talk most of the time.

"That's not a real thing, like I know those are both words but..." Kellan shook his head. "Isn't that just something you do on a calendar?" he offered. He know, objectively, why math skills were essential, but it still felt rather brutal. "What do you recommend today? That's ideally not math related."

spring fling - open

"I actually gave all of them a sweet treat, so there's none left for you and you have to suffer the energy," Kellan commented, giving Kenzie a small smirk as he gestured to the last of the departing kids. "I actually maybe have this extra donut that I thought maybe I'd share with someone like an evil sister, for the big price of telling me I'm the best ever."

All they would have to do is take one look at me and they would change their mind and realize that I am incapable of being anything but confident and serious. I just have to keep them guessing until that point. You have to keep them guessing, Kellan -- threaten them a little more. Or are you saying that at this point, your siblings aren't scared of you? Because if so, it sounds like you need to be scarier.

Have you ever been insecure in your life? Honest answers only, because you're helping me grow into a mature and confident man. Because I'm still young and not in my 40s, after all. Threaten them more? Because that might be...maybe a bit extreme. Do you have recommendations for being scarier?

What, I become a dad again and I'm not allowed to have the fun stuff anymore? Actually, that's probably a good idea, I've been using heavy machinery and that plus beer is not a good mix. Deal. Let's do it this weekend, I need a break from prepping for this Spring Fling next weekend, and I'm sure you do, too, you've been making jams, right?

Heavy machinery? Have you been using that with the baby, though? YOu have to start him out young, one of them has to inherit the woodworking skills, obviously. Jams, but some of them were already made. I just get stressed and get the blueberries out of the deep freezer and slowly lose my mind more than usual.

who: nick & open! (2/3)

"Math is hard, so I'm sort of glad I didn't hear it," Kellan commented, giving a lighthearted laugh. He took the one math class he was required to in college and then never looked back. Even when helping with his nephews, he made sure to steer clear of any math beyond the most basic stuff. "What kind of math is it? Is it like...algebra? Or geometry? They still teach those, right?"

I guess something rooted in truth -- even if it's just a sliver of truth -- is better than something that's completely made up and rooted in… fiction, right? That's the way to look at it. That's true, we can't all be as good as me, how boring would life be if that were the case? I'm maybe joking. You can decide. That's true. Long phone calls making sure that everyone was doing what they needed to do and listening to you from over the pond, hm? At least you can boss them around in person, now.

That sounds about right, but you should probably lead that statement with a bit more confidence there, Raf, because...you're not convincing anyone that you're a wise person to listen to. You're not joking and that's alright. That's about right, yeah, just to confirm that my siblings didn't need their asses kicked when I got home, until they realized I'm not actually good at kicking asses.

"What are you going to do, stop them and ask to search through it for the right kind of straws?" Which probably wouldn't be the weirdest thing that those recycling collectors had seen, but… still. Brothers would be brothers. Rubbing Ronan's back in gentle circles, he pressed a kiss to his son's head before leaning down to carefully place him back in the bassinet, looking up at his brother. "I'm not going to sleep for another eighteen years. If you want to sugar those kids up, go for it, enjoy the sleepover," 'cuz there was no way that they were going to come back to his house that night. "Ah, well, wouldn't that make it kind of funnier? TMZ launching a story about a former pro-athlete turned blueberry farmer that's one rogue?"

"I didn't think ahead there, truth be told," Kellan said. Wasn't that the truth, he very rarely thought more than a moment or two ahead when he said stupid things, after all. It was a flaw of his, not thinking things through. "Eighteen? I'm sure by...sixteen you'll get a full night's rest every now and then. Unless he's sneaking out." He narrowed his eyes at his brother. "No, I will not do the sleepovers, they've already been plotting how to take my home away from me, they will have a coup." Kellan tilted his head in that amused but not amused way. "TMZ doesn't care an ounce about me, in fact."

And even some of the more… metaphysical stuff, we'll say, is probably somewhat rooted in science, right? Maybe even in ways that they aren't aware of or sure about, definitely can't explain, but what matters is that they're still making good predictions. I'm better than some people, life's too short to pretend that I'm not. The difference is making sure that you don't act like you're better than people. Oh, that actually makes sense, I wasn't thinking about the time differences. You'd have to be keeping your crazy brothers in line.

Well, it's not completely fake, there's at least data that makes it make sense in people's minds, even if it's, again, not the full truth. Well, everyone is better than at least some people. That's sort of...how being a human is. You can't act like it, even if you think it or, in your case, know it. I had to still be the boss of everyone while I was far, far away from home.

"I try," he said with a laugh, knowing that they at least had a recycling bin at the house… it just didn't mean that he was always all that good about following through with making sure things ended up where they needed to go. "I know, and you work so hard to get to that point," and although it should have come across as sarcastic, Cage knew that his brother really did work hard to be a good uncle to his kids, and that he was really grateful for it. "It's gotta be worth something, right?" he said quietly as he gently rocked Ronan against his chest, "like, you've got to have at least one fan out there that's secretly building a shrine to you to this day?"

"I'll check outside your house the next day they come to collect it," Kellan warned playfully. He would do no such thing, because they collected recycling early and he was either asleep or on the farm, there was little inbetween. "Well, I hear there's awards for uncles, like the Oscars but for being great at Sending kids home all sugared up? I"m trying to win me one of those. Maybe even two." Kellan snorted at the comment about fans. "Let's not hope for that, alright? I got through a whole career with no restraining orders."

Mm, good point. And I do feel like the information that you pick up in that is probably more valuable and accurate than what you're going to find in a variety of other places -- including the internet. Which of course has information, but maybe not information catered to exactly what you need, all in one place. I… do like feeling better than other people. Have you met me? I've basically made my entire personality being better than other people! God. Were you sleeping at eight PM, or just watching TV? Not that I'm judging!

It is sort of accurate, some of it is just farmer metaphysics, but then it's just fun to judge what they predict versus what actually happens. It keeps the year exciting, especially when things are wildly different. And are you better than other people? Not just feeling that way, I mean you actually are. It depends when we were playing and where I was, if I was in Europe, I would be talking to folks back here at that time, but back in California, I was getting ready for bed.

"I'm not going to argue that one. Besides, I can be careful to... recycle them, right?" He was pretty sure that you could recycle straws, and hopefully that kept them from going straight into the ocean and becoming a problem for everyone else. "Oh, yeah, stuck," he laughed, rubbing Ronan's back gently, "like it's such a horrible burden for you, free help in the summer time, sugaring the kids up when you have 'em, you poor thing." But in all reality, Cage was grateful for it, knowing that his brother had his back. "Ah, don't worry. I just stole a bunch of your t-shirts to repurpose. Old jerseys, too."

"Sure, because you're such a big recycler," Kellan teased. Everyone could probably be a bit better at that, he knew he was one of them, truth be told, but it was so hard at times. "Listen, it's a lot of work to be cool and fun and delightful as an uncle, not all uncles can do that." He looked back up at the bundle in his brother's arms, barely aware he had been born, he suspected. "Sure, way to be out of money for all of the sooo pricey resale prices of my stuff."

Oh, I can absolutely see that for you -- I'm guessing you get the Almanac first thing each year and study it inside and out, just to make sure you get the best blueberries possible? Your dad would be very proud of you for that! I think that's what matters, too. Make sure it's something that you like reading, and that's all you need. Because you weren't invited, or because you were invited, but needed to be in bed by eight PM? That makes sense. And I can't see you failing a test.

I won't say that's the only way I decide things, but I figure if there's any information I miss out on that's easily accessible...and then I have a bad harvest? That's entirely on me. It's better to enjoy what little you do read than to do it for the sake of feeling better than other people. Unless what you like is feeling better than other people. Because I do like to be in bed by 8 pm, or at least in my hotel room or whatever it was at that point in time.

"Oh yeah, it's even worse when it ends up hurting your kids, you start to wonder if the sea turtles are really worth it," he said with a low laugh, shaking his head. At home, they had their own fun, reusable straws, at least. No sea turtles or little girls got hurt. "See, and my wife gets upset with me when I call them my little burdens... go figure," he grinned, taking Ronan back into his arms and cradling him against his chest. "Mm, yeah, I'm really not looking forward to that part. Or the spit up, I'm going to have to dig out all my old t-shirts."

"Listen, sea turtles are great but little kids are more important." He shrugged. Probably. "Well, they could be my little burdens, but you won't send anyone to live with Uncle Kellan, so now I'm stuck being the cool uncle for the rest of my life." He wiped his hands on his hands, before carefully standing. "Hopefully you've got them in easy storage, I hear babies can throw up a lot."