I like chicken strips & tentacle porn

honestly the worst thing about simon’s friends’ reactions to him getting outed was when simon explained that martin had been blackmailing him and threatening to out him and nick replied with “what does that have to do with us?” and none of them showed the slightest bit of, i don’t know, sympathy or concern for their best friend

rͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬaͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣtͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭ  rͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬaͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣtͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭ rͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬaͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣtͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭ rͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬaͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣtͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭ rͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬͬaͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣͣtͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭͭ

where is the rat? bring him to me. 

T R A N S A C T I O N C O M P L E T E

Ready for a financial glo-up

omg another exhausting day of doing the bare minimum

i just got a super predatory debt collection letter. it was for a $113 debt from citizens bank, who i had an account with when i was 16 (20 years ago). the letter appeared to be an offer to cancel the debt if i paid them $22.75. HOWEVER, the actual wording is, “The amount of the debt is $113.77 and we will accept $22.75.” so, no MENTION of canceling the debt, but the implication is there because many collectors of current debt offer to settle for a percentage. at the bottom of the letter, it says: “Because of the age of your debt, we cannot sue you for it and we cannot report to any credit reporting agency. In many circumstances, you can renew the debt and start the time period for the filing of a lawsuit against you if you take specific actions such as making payments on the debt or making a written promise to pay.” basically… i don’t owe this money anymore, the debt is so old they can’t legally sue me for it OR put it on my credit report, BUT if i take their generous offer of paying them $22.75… they can sue me for the full amount because making a payment makes the debt current. no thanks, jefferson capital systems llc.

always, always read the entire letter! it is so important because of semantic awfulness like this! 

thought: the future is terrifying reaction: i should chop all my hair off

god I hate this country

‘cannibalize the rich’ is a legitimate political platform

the person to make the 40,000th note gets to carve the roast

I would pay $10 to do this

me

exactly!

Snakes that large are actually incredibly lethargic most of the time.  Even if they haven’t eaten, they know they can’t eat you, just don’t hurt them and they pretty much don’t give a damn.

When you’re in the middle of sobbing and you start dissociating so you’re like “okay I’m done now” and turn into an emotionless zombie

I have a real problem fighting down the impulse to just reach down into the frying pan and flip whatever it is I’m frying over with my bare hands. Like I’ll be fiddling around down there with some fucking spatula or whatever and some part of me will be like “you can just reach down if you’re quick and precise enough. It’ll be fine don’t worry”

going through my microsoft word archives is great fun because i always find the wildest shit in there and by “the wildest shit” i mean the time i tried to rewrite the entire bible from scratch at the age of eleven and a half

I would read this in its entirety.