빛나는 SHINee Fiction

“He’s resting now,” I inform him.

He nods, out of breath.

“Hyung,” I hesitate. “Could you do me a favor and take Y home? I was supposed to drive her but-”

“Sure,” he agrees at once without question.

“No,” Y intervenes. “It’s okay. I’ll just take a cab home.”

“Are you sure?” I feel a little guilty for making her wait and not being able to drive her home.

“Yes, really, I’m fine,” she gives me a tiny smile, assuring me that there’s nothing to feel bad about. “You should stay here with him,” she turns to Minho.

“At least let me call for a taxi for you,” I insist.

She nods. “Okay.”

I look at Minho to tell him to take over for a few minutes.

“Of course. Go,” he says, not needing me to say another word.

Y and I walk down the street just outside the hospital. Nobody has talked for a while. Despite the silence, I don’t feel uncomfortable at all. Somehow, I feel safe when I’m with her. I feel comforted by just her presence.

“Look, if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call me,” she stops and breaks the silence. She takes her phone from her pocket, unlocks it, and hands it over to me.

I take it without saying a word. I feel gratitude toward Y. It’s not every day you find someone you just met who would care enough to go with you to the hospital and wait hours for you. I dial my number on her phone and my phone vibrates in my pocket. “Here.” I hand it back to her.

“Thanks for a fun night,” she says.

“I’m sorry it didn’t end well. I promise it will be different next time.”

“Please. There’s nothing to apologize for. I’m just glad there’s a next time.”

I smile at her, glad that she’s here for me. Too bad she has to go home.

The taxi I called for appears on the road. I extend my arm to let the driver know that we were the ones who called for him. He shifts to our side of the street.

I pull the handle to open the door for Y. “Please take her home safely,” I say to the driver respectfully. 

She hops in and closes the door gently beside her.

I can see her waving at me through the glass window. I wave back as the car starts to drive away. I watch it disappear from sight. I miss her already.

Y

When I get home, I walk straight to the kitchen to get some water and sit on a stool under the counter. I haven’t drunk anything besides my cocktail at the bar. I’m parched. 

Before I get there, I instantly see Jonghyun standing in front of the refrigerator pouring a pitcher of cold water into an empty glass. He looks like he’s been sleeping and woke up to get hydrated.

“I’m home,” I announce my arrival.

“Hey, how was your night?” he asks before yawning.

“It was great,” I say while pouring another glass of water for myself. “Until we had to go to the hospital.”

“What happened?”

“Taemin’s brother. Something’s wrong with him.” I drink my water.

“Oh, I remember he had pulmonary edema years ago. I came to visit that one time,” Jonghyun tells me.

Turns out it’s a relapse. I didn’t want to ask Taemin before because I didn’t want to seem nosy and annoying while they were going through heavy stuff. Plus, we just met. It’s natural to not discuss burdensome problems on the first day. Just like I haven’t told him why I’m getting a divorce.

Jonghyun sets down his glass and puts the pitcher back in the fridge. “I’m going back to bed,” he says as he throws his arms up to stretch his body. He then heads to his bedroom. “Turn off the lights before you go in.”

“Wait,” I stop him. “What’s your schedule for tomorrow?”

“Hmm, I’m going to the gym in the morning. I will be going to work at 1 p.m.” 

“Great. I’ll drive you. We should get lunch before.” I’m glad I’m back to doing this with him. Instead of sitting around at home doing nothing. I know I could paint, but that’s all I did when I was living with my husband. That’s all he could allow me to do for myself.

The next morning, I’m thinking I shouldn’t wear heels after what happened with Taemin yesterday. I don’t want to ruin somebody else’s shirt. So I’m wearing a pair of white sneakers and matching them with a white collared shirt, a black sweater, and light blue mom jeans. Casual and comfortable. 

When I get out of my bedroom, I hear the front door shut as Jonghyun dashes in with his gym bag. 

“I’ll just take a shower and get dressed then we’ll leave.”

“Okay,” I say to him.

I head to his bedroom and gather all the stuff he needs for today. His notebooks, contracts, and extra clothes. While I’m stuffing things in my bag, I hear his phone’s ringtone blast from his gym bag. Upon checking it, I see Nam Euisoo’s name pop up. “Hello?” I answer.

“Hello, who’s this? Where’s Jonghyun?” Nam Euisoo is Jonghyun’s main manager who’s in charge of bigger responsibilities than me. I’m just here to get beverages, bring stuff, and run errands for them.

“Euisoo, it’s Y.”

“Y! Have you been well?” It’s good to hear he’s enthusiastic to know that I’m back.

“Don’t worry about Jonghyun. I’ll drive him around from now on. He’s just taking a shower.”

“Oh, thank God. Okay, I’ll see you at the office,” he says before hanging up. Looks like he’s been busy.

I figured I should stay as Jonghyun’s assistant for now while my divorce is being finalized. Besides, I like doing it and maybe I could go back into styling eventually. 

Jonghyun comes out of the bathroom wearing his robe. I tell him about my conversation with Euisoo as I step out of his bedroom to let him get ready.

As I wait for him, I check my phone and see a message from Taemin.

Thanks for being there for me last night.

I smile at my phone. I wonder if I should ask how it’s going. 

Don’t mention it. How’s your brother?

He will be discharged in a few days and carry on the treatment at home.

It must be difficult for him to see his brother fight an illness. I admire that he’s being there for him. After a minute, my phone dings. He sent another message.

We should go out again sometime if you want.

My heart flutters the second I read it. Normally, after a recent divorce, you wouldn’t want to be with anyone else for a while. Lucky for me, a nice guy like Taemin has taken an interest in me. It’s not like it’s an official date. It’s just a casual gathering between two new friends. 

I’d love to.

“Are you kidding? I love him already.” Kibum has dated a lot of guys and had fun in his youth. It makes his stories exciting and hysterical. It reminded me of my younger self. I also used to party a lot and dated some. I was fearless and reckless. I had a lot of fun.

“Yeah, well, he’s actually better once you gained his trust and friendship. He’s pretty loyal to his friends.”

I smile and nod at him and then watch Kibum enter the building.

“So,” Taemin exhales. “Do you want to get some coffee? I know a nice place nearby.” 

“Actually, it’s a little late for coffee. How about we get a drink?” I suggest.

“I can’t. I’m driving,” he regrets.

“That’s fine, they have virgins.”

We drive to a cute little bar near where I live. It’s where Jonghyun and I had our ups and downs before I got married. I used to go here when my husband’s at work or on a business trip far away.

“Hey, Y! You’re back. Where’s Jonghyun?” the bartender/owner greets me as soon as I walk in.

“What’s up, Carl? This is Taemin. Jonghyun’s working tonight.” I inform him. “Is there an available table for us?”

“Of course, I never leave out my regulars.” Carl gestures to one of the waitresses to lead us to a booth across the bar.

I look at Taemin behind me and nod as a signal for him to follow me to our table. 

“Just call for me when you’re ready to order,” the nice lady smiles as we sit down.

“This place is nice,” Taemin says. “I haven’t been to one of these since I graduated.”

“They have great food, too,” I tell him proudly. “Are you going to order food or just drinks?”

“I already ate. So a drink will be fine,” he says, looking down and reading the menu while stripping off his jacket.

After not long, the food arrives. I ordered a kimchi stew, a grilled pork belly, and a vodka tonic while Taemin has a “virgin rum and coke,” he says. 

“You can have some pork belly if you want,” I offer. I feel like a pig for getting two types of food.

“I’m okay. You seem like you’re starving,” he points out as I wipe some soup droplets off my chin. 

I cough a chuckle after sipping my drink.

“So, why did you have to see a lawyer?” Taemin asks.

I’m slightly startled by his question. It’s a little weird for me to share my situation with someone I barely know. I got used to having no friends around. Besides Jonghyun, I haven’t shared things this sensitive with anyone for a long time. I don’t feel comfortable telling this guy the whole story.

Taemin apologizes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be nosy.”

“I’m getting divorced.” I nod, decide to go for it. 

“Well, it’s good that you got out of a bad relationship. If it’s a good one you wouldn’t have to get divorced, right?”

Others would say “I’m sorry” and ask me what happened. They would either look at me with pitying eyes or wouldn’t be able to look me in the eye because they’d become uncomfortable learning about my situation. But not Taemin.

“Right,” I smile at him, grateful for what he just said.

“It’s good to see you doing well despite whatever happened. I hope you heal continuously.” He smiles back.

We converse through the evening. I talk about my friendship with Jonghyun and how he’s helped me after finally moving out of my husband’s house. He tells me about his friends Minho, Kibum, and Jinki, whom I had worked with a long time ago. It’s been a long time since I’ve had fun with somebody like this.

“What are you planning to do once your divorce is final?” Taemin asks.

“I think I’d like to start working again.” I haven’t actually thought about it much. For years, all I thought about was getting out of my painful marriage. Going back to work is just the first thing that popped into my head.

I miss the feeling I had when my clients loved how they looked because of my work. The different makeup looks and the different outfits I worked on with various artists and models were in magazines, on television, and all over social media. I loved how my life was back when I had a career.

“Oh, right. I hear you were Kim Jonghyun’s personal manager,”

“Yeah, but that was only when I was in between projects and he really needed more help. I used to be a makeup artist and stylist.”

“That’s cool. Who’s your favorite person that you’ve worked with?” 

“Kim Taeyeon,” I tell excitedly. “I’m a big fan of hers and I finally got to work with her on one of her comebacks years ago.”

Taemin speaks about his work and all the crazy superiors he worked with when was just starting out. As I listen, I feel a vibration on my ass. I fish my phone out of my pocket and see that Jonghyun has texted me:

I’m home now. Where are you?

I reply immediately:

I’m at Carl’s with Lee Taemin. I’ll see you soon.

I stuff my phone back in my back pocket and carry on my evening with Taemin.

I’m really glad Jonghyun asked me to help him out today. If he didn’t, I never would’ve met Taemin. My visit to my divorce lawyer didn’t feel so heavy today because I knew that he was waiting for me.  I expected I’d be relieved once I got divorced. But I didn’t expect I’d be this happy.

As we both converse and laugh, I hear a ringtone coming from Taemin’s smartphone on the table beside him. He picks it up and answers a phone call. When I least expect it, I watch his smile disappear and get replaced with a frown. His expression suddenly looks frightened. He hangs up.

“Is everything okay?” My heart is burning with concern.

He didn’t answer my question. “Sorry. I have to go.” He takes his jacket and hurriedly exits the bar.

If something bad is going on, I shouldn’t let him go alone. I quickly take some cash out of my wallet and place it on the table. Then dash out to follow him.

I hope everything will be okay.

“Yeah, I’d seen her around before. Think it was three, four years ago, when I was still new here. She was also a stylist. I actually got to talk to her today. And damn, she did not age a day. She’s still as pretty as I remember her to be. She’s a year older than me.”

“Really? That means she’s five years older than me.”

“Why? Does that bother you?” Minho Hyung asks.

“Not at all, I like older women as much as I like, well, women in general. I just wonder if she’s still single.”

“Pfft!” he rolls his eyes. 

Jinki Hyung and I share a look. 

Apparently, he’s still sulking about his break-up. They had been together long enough for him to think that she was the one until she replaced him with a much more mature man. Not to mention richer.

Minho Hyung just keeps his head down as he chews his food slowly. At least he’s eating. In the past months, we couldn’t even get him out of bed. 

“Oh, there she is,” Jinki Hyung acknowledges.

I catch sight of where he’s gesturing at the glass window to find Y standing just in front of the building. It seems like she’s waiting for someone. 

I chug my glass of water before heading out. “Gotta go,” I wave to the Hyungs.

I race out of the restaurant, through the halls of the ground floor, and then through the lobby and the revolving door. 

As soon as I get to the spot where I saw her a few seconds ago, she’s gone. 

“Yes, I know. I’ll be there soon.” A woman’s voice reaches my hearing. “I just can’t find a taxi anywhere.” 

I turn around and it’s Y on the phone. I approach her the second she hangs up.

“Hey,” I call out as respectfully as possible.

“Oh, hey,” she smiles back, her eyes squinting from the afternoon sun.

“Remember me?” I say as I show her the tear on my back.

She giggles. “Of course.”

“Look, you’re not going to find a taxi at this hour. Why don’t I just take you to wherever you have to be?” I offer.

She stares at me, hesitating. “No, I can’t do that to you after I ruined your shirt.

“Come on, you can treat me after your thing. I can wait. I’m free for the rest of the day anyway,” I raise my eyebrows at her, trying my charm.

She pauses for a while. “Alright, that’ll be great.”

“Yeah?” My smile extends even wider as I feel excited.

“Yeah,” she nods, yet I can still see she’s a little hesitant.

So I lead her back to the building to get to the parking lot up the elevator. 

My friends would surely laugh at me if they saw me letting a woman ride my car. Since this car is so important to me, I never offered rides to anyone but Kibum Hyung and Minho Hyung. Even when I dated, it never got serious for me to be intimate. Except, of course, for the one-night stands I had back when I was in university. Then again, I never let them even get near this car. It’s my parents’ reward to me for finishing my studies. They saved this up for me all those years.  

I know it’s just been a day and I don’t know what this exactly is but I automatically smile when I lay eyes on her. 

But still, I have to figure this out before I get too serious. 

I pull the door open to the passenger seat for her. 

Her smile is small and toothless, but her eyes light up when they land on mine for a second while she hops in.

I check if she’s entirely in before shutting the door and then walk around the back to get to the driver’s seat. 

I exhale. “Alright,” I say comfortably as I start the car.

She stares at me, her eyebrows furrow. “Why are you smiling?” she asks.

I stare at her back in confusion. “Sorry?”

“You’re smiling.”

“Oh,” I stutter. “I just had a good day at work.”

I didn’t realize until now that I was smiling this whole time. So I bite my lip as I put on my seatbelt.

To my right, Y struggles to pull hers from the back of her seat.

“Here, let me,” I offer. Leaning to her side to gently pull her seatbelt to put it on her until I hear the click.

“Thanks.” Her face turns red subtly.

This time I feel myself smile. I just can’t help it.

As we drive to the highway, she keeps herself quiet, looking away from me and to the window, as if thinking far.

I hesitate to say a word, but I have to ask her something important.

“Y?” I speak her name formally. 

She doesn’t respond. Either she’s too deep into her thoughts or my voice is just too soft.

I check her out for a second, then eyes back on the road. “Y?” I repeat. My voice is a little louder yet stays gentle.

“Hmm?” she finally responds.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You still haven't told me where we're going,” I remind her. 

“Oh, shit,” she slaps her forehead, laughing at herself. 

I laugh too. Not only because she’s funny, but also because she’s fucking adorable. 

. . .

Two hours have passed and Y hasn’t come back down yet. She advised me to wait in the lobby and pointed me to the nearby convenience store in case I needed something. She did say that her meeting with her lawyer might be a while but I insisted on waiting in the car. I should’ve listened. 

I hear the vibration of my phone on the little compartment below the air vents to my right. My mom is calling me.

“Hello, Mom?”

It takes a few seconds of chattering sounds in the background before she speaks. “Taemin, you said you’re coming to the hospital tomorrow, right?”

“Yes, Mom,” I feel pleasantly serene by the sound of her voice.

“Don’t you forget it. I have to pick up your father at the airport.”

“I won’t forget it, don’t worry,” I assure her lovingly. I could never refuse her every request. “How’s it going over there?”

“Oh, you know, fine. Everything is okay today, no complications at all.” Her voice sounds obvious that it’s trying to sound cheerful, but I just see right through her.

“That’s good to know. Well, I have to go now. I’m hanging out with my friend tonight.”

“Sure, honey. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I hang up. Chills run through my veins as my throat aches from trying too much not to tear up. What happens in our family these days is something I’m not used to. Well, none of us are. All we can do right now is stick together until it’s all over. Whether it’ll result in a celebration or devastation. 

So I shake it off, swallowing my tears. I then decide to get out of the car. 

I take a little walk to the store. As I enter, I proceed straight to the beverages section. Upon choosing what I should have, I immediately recognize somebody familiar hiding by high stack cases of beer. 

I tap his shoulder. “Hyung?”

Kibum gasps in shock. “Fuck, you scared the shit out of me,” he intensely whispers.

“What are you doing here?”

“See that guy over there by the snacks? I dated him.”

“Oh, God. This isn’t one of your stalking sessions again, is it?

“Will you keep it down? He might hear you.”

“Kibum?” I guess he already did. “Is that you?”

“Oh, hey! How have you been? It’s been so long.” Kibum fakes enthusiasm.

I try not to burst into laughter, sensing how awkward this is. I recognize this guy who he used to date. Kibum Hyung was all over him until he was friend-zoned. Fuck buddies as he would say. 

“Good. I’ve been good. I’m married now,” he informs us happily, showing us his wedding ring. “Is this…?” I didn’t expect him to look at me.

“Ah, yes,” Kibum says, still faking. “This is my boyfriend, Taemin.”

“Nice to meet you,” the guy smiles at me.

“You too,” I say back politely. And suddenly, it’s not funny anymore. It displeases me to even think about being this guy’s boyfriend. I so want to kill him for implicating me in his schemes. He and I have always hated each other. Minho Hyung is the only string that ties us together.

As they’re keeping up with this awkward exchange, the bell rings by the entrance as someone proceeds inside. 

“Hey, thought I’d find you here,” Y approaches. 

“Great, Noona’s here!” Kibum exclaims. “Look, we have to go,” he says to the guy. “It was great seeing you.”

He then suddenly links his arms between Y and me and pulls us out of the store.

Y looks at me with a weird look, her expression confused.

I just gave her a shrug, not knowing how to explain that Kibum is kind of a crazy-ass fuck. 

This is not the first time I got dragged into his skits like this. Back in college, we pretended to be cops to scare another ex-boyfriend of his away. As expected, we got busted by a real policeman, none other than Officer Seo. It was a great fucking day for everyone.

TAEMIN

“Taemin! I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Jinki Hyung taps my shoulder to turn me around.

“What is it?”

“Director Choi has been brought to the police station again. He needs you. I’ll take over from here.”

“Ugh, Jesus. What has he done this time?” I complain while I take off my headset and pass it to him. 

“I have no idea.”

Choi Minho is the director of my and Jinki Hyung’s production team and my best friend since high school. He was a junior and I was a freshman when we first met. His father is close to my parents and one of the board members of the production company we’re working in. He and I had gone through a troublesome phase when we were younger but apparently, he was stuck in that phase until his long-term girlfriend dumped his marriage proposal recently and eventually grew up. 

I start to run along the halls of the building and to the parking lot. I hop into my car, and drive as fast as I can to the police station. It’s been almost a year since I’ve last been there.

I hurry inside once I arrive to find Minho Hyung sitting by one of the policemen’s desks. 

“Hyung, what happened?” I call out as I approach and sit on the chair across from him.

“I swear, it’s nothing,” he says defensively. “I just got in the middle of a fight at the bar and the guys got away.”

“Why are you still here then?”

“The police won't believe me because of this,” he points to the big bruise on his face. “So then I had to explain that this happened days ago and I didn’t get involved this time.

“Hey, Choi Minho!” I hear someone shout from the entrance. Kibum rushes toward us and pulls me out of my seat for him to take it. “What the fuck happened to you?” He hits Minho in the arm.

I roll my eyes and cross my arms. Ever since Minho Hyung came out as bisexual, Kibum has been after him, especially now that his girlfriend called it quits. 

We three went to university together. Kibum Hyung is the craziest among us and always led us to the most raging parties. He was, most of the time, the reason we ended up in the police station. 

While they both are being all annoying and shit, I catch a glance of a woman, perhaps in her late twenties, sitting on the bench by the entrance. She has a big bandage on her forehead just above her left eye. She’s got cuts on the right side of her lips and a cast wrapped around her right arm.

“Well, well, well. How nice to see the trio back together again,” an officer sits behind his desk.

“Wow, you’re still alive?” Kibum says savagely.

“Sir, I swear, we have nothing to do with this one. I’ve started my life over,” Minho pleads.

“Son, I’ve always heard that bullshit from you,” Officer Seo shakes his head. “Seven years ago you three were arrested for breaking a windshield of a Maserati and for stealing one of its wheels.”

“What? That guy deserved it for cheating on me,” Kibum interrupts.

“Shut your fucking mouth. I’m not talking to you.”

Kibum just rolls his eyes at him.

“I don’t know. I’m going to have to call your father,” Seo turns back to Minho Hyung.

“Sir, please! I-”

Another police officer approaches and whispers something into Seo’s ear.

He gives all three of us a weird look as if he’s heard something he can’t believe. He nods to his fellow policeman and turns back to us. 

“I never thought I’d say this, but you’re free to go,” he sighs, showing his disappointment.

Y

For the first time in years, I’ve slept so soundly and awoke to a peaceful morning. The sunlight pierces through the curtains. It’s a beauty I hadn’t seen when I was with him. It was always dark under that roof.

This time, there’s less fear, less anxiety. Just serenity and safety.

There’s a knock on my bedroom door.

“Oh, good. You’re awake,” Jonghyun says, only his head showing. It’s so nice to see his smiling face this early. He sits on the bed next to me. “How are you feeling, Noona?”

“Better,” I nod. I grab his hand and give him a slight smile. “I hope I’m not burdening you by staying here. I promise I’ll leave as soon as I can.”

“Hey, we’ve been over this a thousand times. Don’t mention it. Just stay as long as you need.” He then places a smack on my forehead. “It’s just great to have Noona back.”

“You mean your assistant?” I giggle.

“That too,” he laughs as well.

“What would you do without me?” 

When I was still living with my husband, I never got to hang out with Jonghyun because he forbade me to get out of the house. He didn't even allow me visitors. I had not seen Jonghyun in a while until he picked me up at the police station three months ago. 

That one last slap in my face before I passed out is the worst thing I remember. Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital confined for two days. My face was covered in stitches, I could barely open my left eye, and my arm was in a cast. As if I can still feel his tight grip. 

Every time I looked at myself in the mirror, I hated myself. But at the same time, I felt sorry for my body. His fingerprints in the form of bruises on my arm still show. The scars on my face will remain. The memories of being hit by a dining chair will be remembered by the big dark diagonal scar across my back. All these traces of him will never leave me.

I couldn’t speak in over a week, but Jonghyun says I could respond by shaking my head and by nodding. He also tells me about what the doctors said about me, that I’m pretty strong for someone who had been mistreated for years. It was the physical torture that traumatized me to hold my ability to speak.

Some days I stayed in bed until evening. Some days I spent my time reading and painting, which I have not done in a while. 

Now, it’s been more than a month since I last saw my husband. The police have been looking for him but he’s nowhere to be found. I don’t care where he is as long as he doesn’t bother me anymore.

“Hey, you should come with me to my schedules today. Meet some old friends and colleagues, be my assistant again like in old times. What do you say?”

“Hmm, well, my meeting with my divorce lawyer isn’t until this afternoon. So, sure.” I genuinely smile at him.

There’s not much has changed in the station. Except for the lobby and the front desk. There used to be a small space between it and the path through the elevators so it was a hassle getting through there especially when it’s crowded and you’re in a hurry.

Four years ago, my soon-to-be ex-husband forced me to quit my career as a makeup artist and stylist. I had a hectic but fulfilling career as an artist. I got to work with designs and aesthetics for different companies and different pop groups and soloists. Besides being Jonghyun’s manager on the side, I had a magical life.

Jonghyun and I walk into the elevator. It kind of feels weird to be back here and I’m a little nervous to see everyone again. 

“Wait! Please hold the door!” someone shouts before the gates completely shut.

So I press-hold on the open button. A young man carrying thick extension wires (or whatever that is) wrapped around his shoulder down to his wrist and a wireless headset around his neck. 

“Thank you,” he says breathily. “Excuse me.”

“Which floor?” I ask.

“Oh, there,” he points to the same floor as us. “Thank you,” he gives me a respectful nod.

“Okay,” I smile back politely.

As we wait to get to our floor, the guy takes a glimpse at me. Before I realize it, he keeps looking at me every five seconds.

Do I know him? He’s not at all familiar. I haven’t seen him even when I was still working here before.

Or does he know me? If he does, I wouldn’t know where from.

It was the longest uncomfortable minute of my life. I exhale in relief once the elevator dings and the doors part. 

As I continuously walk, I hear the young man call out to Jonghyun formally. I halt to listen carefully, but his voice is so soft that I can’t hear what he’s saying.

“Who? Y Noona?” Jonghyun responds loud enough. “She’s my assistant for the day. Also a close friend of mine. Why?”

They are speaking about me. I’m not sure how I feel about this. It’s been a while since I heard people in the workplace talk about me behind my back.

I was inside a cubicle when some girls gossiped about me. They were ridiculing me, saying how stupid I was to stay in an unfaithful relationship. They said they pitied me yet they mocked me. 

“Jonghyun-ssi,” I say formally but in a sarcastic tone. “Shall we go?” I fake a smile and widen my eyes at him to send a message that I’m uncomfortable. 

So he nods politely to the young man. He and I proceed to one of the dressing rooms. I put down the gym bag with all the things he needs for today as I sit him down in front of a vanity mirror to start dressing him up for the reality show filming. 

“Noona, where’s the suit that I’ll be wearing?” Jonghyun asks.

“It’s here.” I pull up a stunning blue two-piece suit.

“That’s what I’m going to wear to Lee Jieun’s event this evening,” he corrects me. “I’ll wear the gray one. It hangs in the back of the van.”

“Oh,” I laugh at myself but I cringe inside because I feel stupid. “Sorry. I’ll get it right now.” 

“Maybe this isn’t a good time to wear those heels,” Jonghyun teases me as I make my way out the door.

Catching for air, I get to the van and open the back door. Six sets of gray suits appear before my eyes. Plus, the paper bags of meals and snacks I was supposed to take too to give out to the crew.

I sigh deeply. I reach for my phone from my jeans’ back pocket and then dial Jonghyun’s number to ask him which of them he’s wearing for the show.

No answer.

I growl dreadfully. I forgot what it’s like to be a famous singer’s personal assistant. 

I sigh once again and eventually decide to bring up all six. They’re quite heavy. This was way easier when I was younger. I was in my twenties and could carry a heavy backpack, a gym bag in one hand and his lunch and coffee in the other. And I could run up and down the elevator several times without my body giving in. Even in high heels.

Now, it feels like I want to quit already. I’m running out of strength.

So I hurry all the way back to the floor with these suites hanging on my shoulder and two heavy paper bags in my other hand.

Almost to the hall of dressing rooms, my heart drops as I almost fall backward. The hook of one of the hangers is caught on someone’s t-shirt making me drop some of Jonghyun’s suits while the person shouts out loud in shock. 

“Oh, no! I’m so sorry!” I say as I pick the clothes up off the ground one by one.

“What the fuck?” he mumbles in confusion and a little panic, reaching for the thing that’s caught on his back.

“Let me take that.” And when I do, I notice that his shirt is torn from below the neckline down to the middle of his back. 

I gasp.

The guy turns around to face me, I recognize him right away. He’s the staff member from the elevator who kept staring at me.

“You?” We both say almost at the same time. 

“Shit. I am so sorry,” I say again as he notices the tear as well. “Let me help you. I have an extra t-shirt back in the dressing room. I’ll go and get it.”

“No, no. It’s okay. This top is really old anyway. Been planning to buy a new one,” he says so politely, grinning at me.

“Please, I insist. Let me-” 

My phone suddenly vibrates on my ass. It’s Jonghyun calling.

“Okay, I have to go. But when I see you again, maybe I’ll buy you a cup of coffee or a new t-shirt. Yeah?” I’m talking so fast I’m not sure if he still understands what I’m saying.

Without waiting for his response to my offer, I run to the halls and back to Jonghyun.

It’s my first day back to work and I’m already slipping. Literally.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3 NEW!

Chapter 4 NEW!

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12 (smut)

Chapter 13 (male nudity)

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

. . .

14:36

Kim Kibum: Hey, Kim Jonghyun! When are you getting discharged? You’re delaying our project. Get your shit together, yeah? Love you

15:18

Jinki: They ran some tests on you a few days ago, right? How did they go?

15:24

Minho: Hope everything’s okay, Hyung. We’re just here waiting for you~

16:20

Taemin: Hyung, did you receive my fruit basket? Hope you like it.

Reading their messages instantly puts a smile on my face. I start typing to reply that everything’s good and that I’m getting out of here soon. Maybe next week at the very least. 

I’ve been in this hospital for almost a month because of the car accident on my drive to my parents’ house after work. It was already dark and I was on the expressway when it started to rain so heavily that visibility was close to zero. Unexpectedly, a huge truck was running too fast in my direction. I managed to avoid it but then made me hit an electric post. Even though I was in a coma for three days, still, lucky for me, I had very little damage compared to others who have gotten into accidents like this.

I’ve never felt more alive. It may be hard to believe or even admit, but it might be a miracle, what happened to me. I was in such unbearable pain that I could already imagine my loved ones crying at my funeral.

I grab my little notebook and head up to the rooftop. I sit in my usual spot, which is at the very corner of the floor, overlooking the city. The city lights are like stars, the cars like elves, and the people like ants. It’s like a whole new weird world. I pull up my pen inserted at the last page I wrote on. Every time I have an idea for a song or a poem, I always write it here. 

As I’m turning the pages to look back on what I’ve written, I catch a glimpse of someone’s legs way across this wide rooftop. It looks like a person lying on the floor. 

“Hello?” I call out. 

No response. 

“Excuse me, are you okay?” My voice is a little louder, hoping to be heard.

Still nothing. Not even a subtle movement.

I drop everything and walk briskly over to check on them. 

I gasp at a young girl in a hospital gown like mine, which means she must be a patient too. I draw closer to see that she’s unconscious. And pale.

My heart twists, I hurriedly kneel down to her side and lightly put my head on her chest to check her heartbeat. 

Shit, I hear nothing. A quick shiver sends through me. 

Her pulse. I quickly grab her hand to feel her wrist and hope to feel something. 

Thank God. I exhale after what feels like twenty minutes. “Stay here. I’ll go get help.” 

I run down four flights of stairs and realize how ridiculous that sounded since she couldn’t even hear me. I finally reach the nearest nurse’s station, catching my breath in order to get words out. 

“Excuse me! There’s a girl up on the roof. She’s unconscious. Please help!” 

A nurse nods once and quickly picks up the telephone. She recites something I didn’t quite understand. Two guys with a stretcher appear immediately and ask me to let lead the way.

. . .

It’s now hours later and I can’t stop thinking about her. My last sight of her keeps flashing before my eyes. She was pale and almost lifeless. She looks pretty with her dark neck-length hair, her thin bangs fly off her forehead because of the wind. I wonder what’s wrong with her. I hope she’s okay now. Turns out she is the one who stays in the room next to mine.

My door slowly opens for a nurse to take the tray of my already finished dinner. “Hey, um, do you know what happened to the girl next door?”

“Do you know her?” he asks me right back, his eyes dead.

“Actually, yeah, I went to college with her.” I lie.

“Oh, okay, then,” he sighs. “Well, she attempted to kill herself again.”

My jaws drop in shock. “What?” I stutter. My heart sinks even more at the word ‘again.’

“It’s the third time she’s done that during her stay here. I really hope she'll stop. I’m worried about her. She doesn’t even have a family for us to call for a situation like this. There’s only this one guy that comes over every now and then.” His eyes suddenly change and fill up with pity when he walks out the door.

---

PRESENT DAY

Y/N

I run to the bus stop to see Jonghyun already waiting for me by his car in hazard mode at the side of the road. Two weeks passed and this is the most I’ve seen him since he’s been busy with his comeback. 

He spots me, then waves so happily that he’s almost jumping.

I land in his arms. “Jonghyun, I missed you,” I weep on his chest. 

He pulls away to look at my face, cupping my cheeks. “How’s my girl?” his eyes twinkle. He lovingly leans in for a five-second kiss.

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting,” I pout.

“No, I just got here,” he smiles. “Shall we?”

We both hop in his car and drive to Taemin’s house to have dinner with the boys. It was supposed to be a celebration for their comeback promotion weeks ago but it always fell through. Now that their promotion ended, they decided to have the gathering tonight. It was Minho and Kibum’s idea. Taemin offered his place to hold it. 

They love a good party. Kibum wanted to invite as many people as they could but Minho wanted an intimate gathering with just close friends. The decision was made democratically but it was tied up. So all that long heated, turbulent discussion led us to the lowkey one with just close friends.

Jonghyun and I arrive with three handsome boys already in sight. Minho greets me with a warm hug and then leads me toward the kitchen where Jinki and Kibum are preparing food.

“Mmm, smells good over here. Where’s Taemin?” I ask no one in particular while I make my way to sit on a spinning stool by the island.

“He’s not here yet,” Kibum answers me while he holds a wooden spoon in front of me to let me taste his soondubu stew. 

“What? He’s late even at his own party being held at his house. Great.” I say as I nod approvingly to Kibum, telling him that it’s delicious.

Jinki giggles. “That’s our youngest.”

I laugh, wiping off droplets of soup on my chin.

“Speak of the devil,” Kibum mutters as soon as I hear the front door beep. 

I welcome Taemin with a giggle and my arms open for a hug. “Hey, what are you doing late at your own party?” I say, pulling away from his one-hand embrace.

“I came as fast as I could. You’re at my house. Stop complaining!” he laughs too.

. . .

It is now four hours later. Jonghyun and I are back in his car on our way to his apartment. I insisted he takes me home but he insisted harder for me to stay at his place since it’s closer.

“Plus, I missed you and I want to be with you a little longer,” he says, kissing my hand while his eyes are on the road. 

“Really? Well...” I say, having something in mind. I start drawing closer to him and slide my palm on his lap up to his crotch. I lean in closer, humming into his ear.

He swallows. “Hey, I’m driving.”

I laugh at him. “Fine, I’ll wait until we get home.”

“Home?” He looks at me for a second, smiling. Then back on the road.

I pause, thinking of what I said. “What?” 

“Did you just propose for us to live together?”

“Where’d that come from? You’re making stuff up again.” I playfully punch his arm.

He laughs out loud. It is so beautiful that it is the most musical sound I’ve ever heard.

After a few seconds of silence, he grabs my hand. I turn to him, waiting for him to say something. “So, do you want to move in?”

My mouth opens in quite a confusion but immediately curves into a huge smile. “Yeah, of course! I’d love that,” I screech. I lean into him for a kiss on his cheek, then rest my head on his shoulder while he pulls over into parking.

He turns to me, cupping my cheek. “I love you so much, Y/n.” 

It makes me melt every time he says those words to me. My eyes fill in with tears. “I love you, too.”

---

TWO YEARS EARLIER

An overflowing burning sensation boils in my stomach, making me abruptly sit up and throw up on myself. I feel like my internal organs are about to come out of my mouth. I feel so heavy that I can't open my eyes. When I do, it’s brief and cloudy.

I suddenly hear the door open. Somebody walks into my room. A nurse perhaps. After I feel them carefully laid me back down, I catch a blurry figure of a man standing in my direction by the door outside my room. Before I can control my own consciousness, everything goes black again.

. . .

I slowly open my eyes with the sun blaring at me. It irritates the shit out of me. I get out of bed in an attempt to close my blinds but somebody stops me.

“Whoa, wait, be careful.” A guy in a hospital gown like mine suddenly appears before me. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I glare at him.

He looks startled by my sudden rage. Despite this, he adjusts the wire connecting the needle inserted in my arm and the IV that’s hung next to my bed before I could mess it up. 

“Let me get that for you,” he mutters before closing the blinds for me, leaving a bit of sunlight.

My face relaxes from frowning as I watch him walk back toward me. He sits on the chair next to my bed. I notice his attractive appearance. Dark hair that covers his entire forehead, a cute smile and a muscular body. I somehow get lost in his stare with those innocent and sparkly eyes, making the anger inside me fade. I feel some kind of warm relief. 

“Uh, I’m Jonghyun. Sorry to disturb you. I just wanted to see how you’re doing. I have not heard about you since I found you on the roof a few days ago.”

I snap out, bringing back my scowl. “Why?”

He stutters. “Well-”

“We don’t even know each other.”

“No, but-”

“Do you like me? Is that why you saved me?” I’m getting more pissed with this stranger in my room. “Or are you just trying to be some kind of a hero that saves my life, then our story would turn into a cheesy romantic cliché?

Silence. He just stares at me. Probably awkward and shocked.

“Get out of here before I call security.”

Without saying anything else, he gets up from his seat and walks to the door. Looking flustered, he glances back at me before sliding it close behind him. 

. . .

The moon has come out. It’s the only time of day that I appreciate the outside. I stand before the window, looking out, watching the cars and cabs go about down there. Thinking that there are millions of people existing, I question why the fuck I’m alone. 

Literally. 

Emotionally. 

I fall on my butt, and for the first time in almost a year, I cry out loud. Extremely loud. Numbingly loud. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I pull my hair out, punch my head, slap my own face. Dig my nails into my neck, scratch down to my chest, and then my arms. I kick my legs hysterically. Repeatedly.

I hate being alive. 

Eventually, my hearing went faint, abandoning its purpose. I feel someone grab me from behind, restraining me tightly. 

“Let me go! Just please let me go. Please! I don’t want to be alive anymore.” I continue to scream furiously, trying to escape everything that tries to come at me.

But then, I see that it’s Minho who’s hugging me. I crash into his arms, shut the fuck up, and cry silently. 

“Y/n, I’m here. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. I’m here for you. Please, stop now,” he hushes me. I can finally hear his voice. He's the only one I can trust. His embrace is the only comforting thing to me.

I’m breathing heavily, trying to calm down. I watch a nurse approach with a syringe but Minho immediately shoves it away. 

We just stayed like this. I have not idea how long but I don’t want it to end.

After some time, the noises in my head settle down. I can see clearly again. 

---

PRESENT DAY

JONGHYUN

After my radio show, I come home to a beautiful lady waiting for me on the couch in the dressing gown I got her for Christmas last year, and a pair of thick-framed reading glasses with a book in hand. 

I join her, laying my head between her breasts. “Hi, roomie.” I look up at her, then give her a wink. We talked about moving in together weeks ago and the day I’d been waiting for has finally come. She’s finally settled in with me. There couldn’t be any other day happier than this.

She hisses. “Shut up,” then goes back to reading her book, blocking my view of her pretty little face. 

I hiss back. I then crawl out off the couch to pick her up bridal style, spinning her around.

Y/n shrieks, laughing. “Jonghyun, stop!” 

So I do. “Oh, hey, we haven’t done that thing couples do once they move in.”

“I thought you were going to be too tired from work,” she says, her arms around my neck.

Her thinking about sex is heaven to me! But that’s not what I’m talking about. “No, stupid,” I chuckle at her while I put her down on her feet. “Come here.” I grab her hand for her to follow me out the front door. 

“Wait, what? Where are we going? I’m not dressed,” she complains.

I close the door once we get out. Y/n is still confused about what we’re doing. I pick her up again, bridal style. “Now, enter the code.”

She doesn’t say anything else and does as I say.

Once she opens the door, “Welcome home!” I cheer.

She laughs out loud. “Oh, so now we’re officially living together. Amazing!” she says playfully.

But I don’t put her down just yet and head to the bedroom.

“What are you doing?”

“We’re doing that other thing that couples do when they move in together.” 

“Yay!” she cheers, then kisses me deeply on the spot as I bring the action to our bedroom. 

---

TWO YEARS EARLIER

There’s a knock on the door while I watch a movie on the flatscreen. I hit pause on the remote control.

“Hyung!” Minho calls out enthusiastically as he enters my room with bags of food in his hand.

“Hey! What are you doing here?”

“What? Can’t a guy visit his guy friend who is unlucky enough to get into an accident?” he jokes around, handing me my lunch.

“Thank you very much,” I bow to him. 

Minho and I do some catching up, talking about his new drama series, and some other work stuff until our conversation finds itself about the girl staying next door.

“Then she just kicked me out of her room and threatened to call security on me. This is what she did to a person who saved her life?” I pout.

“Oh, my God. You’re the stalker she’s been talking about?”

“Stalker? Woah, that woman. After what I did for her?” My blood is boiling with intense irritation. But it subsides quickly once I realize something. “Wait, you know her?”

“Yeah, I actually spent the night in her room.”

I pause, staring at Minho in confusion. “You’re not… Nothing’s going on with you two, is there?

“Oh, no. Nothing like that. I’ve known her since childhood. Our parents used to be close. That was when her mother was still alive and her dad hadn’t moved to Japan.”

“Wow, she has it tough, huh?” Just like that, irritation turns compassion. 

“Yeah, but there’s more to that. Something that no one can explain, not even her herself.”

She’s been suicidal. Her depression has taken a lot from her. Hearing this makes me want to look after her more.

---

PRESENT DAY

Y/N

Since then, Jonghyun had been visiting me every evening to have dinner together even when I kept pushing him away, asking him to stop trying to save me.

Days after he got discharged, he came back, but I wasn’t in my room anymore. When he found out that I was transferred to the psychiatric ward, he came running to my door.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were being transferred?”

“Why would I?” I frowned.

“Right,” he laughed awkwardly. 

His phone vibrated in his pocket. 

“Hey, what are you-” 

He trailed off, his face turning red as he listened. It’s definitely Minho.

I suddenly snatched the phone from Jonghyun’s hand and walk near the door out of earshot. “Hey, where the hell are you?” I scolded Minho in a whisper. “You are not letting him-”

“It’s okay, Y/n. He means well. Maybe it’s time for you to let somebody else in for a change,” he laughed statically. “Love you.” 

I sighed in irritation as I heard the dial tone. “Here.” I hand Jonghyun’s phone back to him while he just smiled at me goofily.

If it wasn’t for Minho, I never would’ve trusted anyone again. And because of Jonghyun, trusting and loving again was worth it. 

By the time I got discharged from the ward, Jonghyun and I eventually started dating officially. He was always there for me. Offered to come with me to my therapist twice a week but I insisted that I could go by myself. I would meet the rest of the boys not long after we got together. Since then, I’ve got the best friends ever.

Sooner or later, I would get back to work in teaching kindergarten. I can’t imagine my career going any other way. I thank myself for being alive today. Some days, I’d join Jonghyun and the boys in organizing a charity mission. I’d teach kids in far provinces. I forgot how fulfilling working with children was when I was too busy being miserable.

I’ve never felt so alive. Not to mention grateful. 

“I’m so proud of you, honey,” my dad tells me with a big smile on his face.

“Thanks, Dad,” I smile back at my computer screen. “By the way, when are you coming? You should tell me ahead of time so I can prepare you something.”

Before I can hear his response, the front door of my apartment beeped. “Oh, I have to go. Jonghyun’s here.”

“I should really meet this Jonghyun. You’re talking about him a lot,” he says.

I shake my head and laugh at him before hanging up.

“Was that your dad?” Jonghyun asks as soon as he approaches and kisses me on the lips.

“Yeah.”

“Is he coming to visit?”

“He didn’t say,” I tell him, shutting down my laptop.

I stare at Jonghyun while he removes his shoes and walks towards me.

“What?” he asks, then kisses me on the forehead.

Trying not to tear up, I just shake my head and giggle at him. If it wasn’t for Jonghyun, my life would be so much different right now. Hell, I’d be dead. Because of him, I regained my bond with my dad. 

Months ago, they had to go to Japan for work and he made me come with them so my father and I could finally talk. We had never seen eye to eye ever since Mom died. We had drifted apart. Now, we are closer than ever.

She doesn’t answer, just typing and clicking away. 

He pouts. 

A minute later, since he badly wants her attention, his hands slowly start sliding down her arms. Tickling her wrists with his soft fingers then going back up under her arms. 

“What are you doing?” Y/n sighs, finally saying something. Although her eyes are still on the computer screen.  

Taemin starts to sniff her hair from the side. He breathes into her ear, she moans subtly. He starts to caress her neck with his nose and lips, admiring her scent, then sensed a little vibration from her reaction. While kissing her face then her jaw, he continues to feel her. His hand pleasuring itself by sliding down her breasts, stomach, then inner thighs. She receives a huge tingle inside. 

To Y/n’s increased arousal, she stands up and faces him. Staring, lusting over Taemin’s hungry expression. They then crash their mouths together. Tongues dancing with each other. She wraps her arms around his neck while she steps even closer to feel his growing manhood with her own crotch. She’s hungry as well. She now strips her short pants together with her panties before they get soaked. The two pull apart for a second as Taemin sets the keyboard and the mouse aside to make space. He holds on to her ass and spreads them apart for his own pleasure. “Mmm, baby,” he whispers seductively before tasting her mouth again while pushing her hips slightly to guide her to sit on the desk. 

After she takes off his shirt, she admires his upper body as her waters drip down there. She hasn’t noticed it for a while until now. She goes ahead and pulls him closer to herself so she can bite his neck, kiss her chest, and lick his abs, touching him all the way down to his erection, stroking it outside his pants.

Taemin’s eyes are looking devilish now. Her warm touches send him more desire than satisfaction. So his fingers proceed to Y/n’s wetness without any hesitation as he licks her neck, making her exhale loudly in oh-so much goodness. He lifts the hem of her sweater to reveal her lace bra. 

He thirsts by the sight of them. Remembering all those unfortunate times when he was away from touching her. Now, he can even bury his face in between her majestic breasts. He thought he’d be completely satisfied but he’s even hungrier. 

They are back to each other’s mouths when she grabs his face then pulls away. She brings Taemin’s head down in between her legs where her thirst problem will be solved. 

Taemin is now eating his way into her, giving her what he knows they both want so badly. His tongue plays around in between her lips, making her jump every time it touches her sweet spot. While he’s at it, he looks up at her but she shuts her eyes just before he can meet them. She leans her head back, reaching the top of the monitor behind her to get a grip. 

“Fuck, Taemin,” she moans a little louder.

As her cries are roaring and her face is turning vermillion, Taemin decides to insert two fingers inside her, making Y/n want to lose her shit. “Oh, God, that feels intense,” she cries in a wheeze, trying not to scream. “Keep going.”

And so he does. Enjoying every bit of this moment, humming in delicious fulfillment from the taste of her. The warmth of her insides throws him into his thoughts of ravaging her more later tonight. Now in the high hopes for her to reach paradise, he then stuck his fingers inside her, stopping the in-and-out motion. He then shakes them a little faster, hitting her just at the right spot while his tongue carries on with its work on her clit. 

Soon enough, Y/n gasps. Her mouth opens, the dark parts of her eyes disappear. She grabs Taemin’s hand to stop him as her body shakes. He watches her come for him, taking pride in the sight of this gorgeous woman whose skin is red from her face down to her neck. 

But then he realizes he adores her more than he takes pride. 

He stands up to meet her eyes while she’s still catching her breath. With her hand, she wipes the glisten off his mouth then pulls him in to kiss him while she giggles amid it. 

I laugh at his expression because I adore him so much. Since I’m not from around here, Minho and I have been having little problems with our language barriers, and my Korean isn’t that good yet. “Sorry. A third wheel means a third person accompanying a couple on a date.”

“Oh!” He lets out a chuckle. “No, the other three are going to be there.”

“That’s great, honey, but I still have a lot of uni stuff to do.” I pout. “Just give them all a hug from me.”

He picks up his plate and his glass to take to my kitchen sink. “That’s okay, you can come next time.”

“Hey, no, let me do that.” I take over the dishes as I bring my plate too.

I catch Minho smirk in the corner of my eye. He’s looking at me for some reason.

“What?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Thanks for the food, Y/n,” he says. And to my surprise, he proceeds behind me, wraps his arms around my waist, and rests his chin on my shoulder as I wash the dishes. 

I can feel my face burning. His touch and scent are intoxicating. “Oppa,” I mumble under my breath. 

Minho has been wanting me to call him that, but I was always too embarrassed. I called him that in front of his friends once and they all keep making fun of me since then. Kibum’s duck laugh is stuck in my head. 

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” He lets me go to meet my face but I couldn’t make eye contact. 

When I do look at him, I catch him grinning like a hyena holding back its laugh. 

And just as I’m dreading, he blows raspberries, guffawing at me.

I splash soap bubbles toward him. “Screw you! Forget it!” 

“Come on! It’s adorable to me,” he says, wiping droplets off his eye. He grabs me again from behind.

“You come on! You’re laughing! It’s making me feel bad,” I say, putting the last plate on the drying rack. Then I slap his arms away. “Get out!”

“Alright! I’m sorry, baby.” He’s sorry but still giggling. He just loves making me mad. What an ass.

“Shut the hell up!” I exclaim as I’m about to walk away. 

“No, wait! Come here.” He then grabs my wrist and pulls my head onto his chest to shush me. I can feel the softness of his sweater and the bulk of his muscles at the same time. 

I pull away, still sullen and pouting. “What is it that’s so funny?”

“I don’t know, it’s just the way you say it.” He shrugs. “Maybe it has something to do with your accent. Not sure about them but, to me, it’s the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard.” He raises his eyebrows, using his flaming charm on me.

I cross my arms. “The boys will continue to mock me. What if they hate me?”

“Are you kidding? They love you! They wouldn’t joke around with you if they don’t.”

“Really?” I didn’t think of that. “So I should be grateful that they’re making fun of me?” I finally got my smile back. “You guys are so weird.” 

“Aigoo, my girlfriend is so cute!” He squishes my cheeks to create a pout on my mouth and kisses me. 

“Excuse me,” someone taps my shoulder from behind. 

I squeal in shock but I cover my mouth right away with my hand. It’s Jonghyun. My eyes widen at him.

“Sorry I scared you,” he chuckles. “Can I help you?”

“I’m looking for Taemin,” I say, smiling, trying not to let my anxiety show.

“Oh, okay. Of course. You’re Taemin’s fan,” he jokingly acts upset.

I laugh with him. “Not exactly, um, I’m Y/n. He told me to come—”

“You’re Y/n?” Jonghyun looks surprised.

Seems like it’s not the first time he’s heard my name. I stutter to answer. “Uh… Y-yes?”

He then hurries to open the door to the dressing room, pulling me by my wrist to come in with him. The room is filled with their staff and stylists, and the rest of the boys except Minho. Jinki and Kibum are talking with one of the dancers in front of the mirror, rehearsing some choreo I think. 

I can feel sweat forming under my pits, it’s embarrassing. I’m so nervous to see Minho and this crowded room is not helping. 

Taemin is speaking with his manager until he sees me.

“Oh, Y/n!” He pulls me into a quick hug. “You made it.”

“Hey,” I release a nervous laughter, tapping his back once. “So, great show tonight! You guys are actual legends.” I congratulate them as I watch Kibum and Jinki joining the conversation. Which made me more nervous. 

I didn’t think I’d feel more overwhelmed after that grand show I’ve just seen so far, and it’s only the half of it.

“Thanks!” Jonghyun says enthusiastically. “Which part do you like the most?” he asks.

I pause for a second, trying to remember everything from the concert.

“Did you even watch?” Kibum teases after a second of dead air. Everyone laughs out loud.

“Oh, I know which part she liked the most,” Taemin answers for me. He begins acting out unbuttoning his shirt, sexy dancing, and putting his tongue out like a moron. He’s imitating Minho’s solo during their ‘Dynamite’ performance wherein he danced topless as he rapped his part. 

Everyone starts laughing again. I have no choice but to fake one because I’m too nervous to think about something else other than meeting Minho in person.

“So, Y/n, did you come all by yourself?” Jinki asks me eventually.

“Yes, I did,” I nod. “I must admit, I’m a bit tensed to—” 

Suddenly, we halt all the same time the second we hear Minho’s loud, contagious, high pitched laugh coming from the halls.

“Quick! Hide!” Jonghyun immediately directs.  

I look around the room but since I’m panicking so much I don’t know in which direction to go. “Where?” I shout but in a whisper.

“In there, in there!” Kibum assists me to a small curtain at the corner of the room where they can change costumes. Apparently. 

So I did what he gestured me to do and stay quiet behind the curtain. He left a little gap for me to peep. I’m pleasantly surprised at how they acted so attentively and helped me out without any further verbal communication. They knew what to do just like that while I’m at dismay. Thank God.

My heart twists once again. Perhaps after this, I think I’ll have a heart attack.

It’s now a few minutes later, I watch Minho walk into the room with a big smile on his face. He has just finished a good laugh. “Hey,” he says to no one in particular.

“What have you been doing? We could hear you laughing from a mile away!” Kibum yells at him. 

Oh, God, there he is. I can’t believe how close he is to me now. Just one step left and we finally meet. After all this anxiety and anticipation, I didn’t think I’d feel this intense yet blissful sensation. I could just stay here and watch him smile like that. Even if he doesn’t have to see me. Because of how happy I am right now, all my worries just went away in a heartbeat. 

I watch Minho put his arm across Jinki’s shoulders as he is just casually having a conversation with the four. With my shaking hand, I lightly grab the edge of the curtain to slowly set it aside and walk out to light. 

Minho’s smile unintendedly disappears in confusion the second he finally lays eyes on me. Then his eyes widen after a few seconds, as if they’re about to fall off, his expression turning into shock. His lips part a little. 

“Surprise,” I say in a giggle. 

His expression doesn’t change as his sight doesn’t leave me. We stare at each other in what feels like forever, the world stops around us. 

I attempt to step forward toward him but I hesitate. My heart feels heavy on my feet. I feel my fists tighten when I start to tear up.

“Y/n?” Minho finally says after a good while. “What… What are you doing here? I thought…” His brows furrow. He then turns to his friends around him. “Did you…?” 

They all nod at the corner of my eye. 

Jonghyun laughs. “I told you she might have a reasonable explanation.”

Minho’s smile is reappearing slowly. He probably has just completely realized what’s happening. 

I bite my lip as I try so hard not to cry in front of these people. 

Finally, he runs to me and picks me up in a tight hug, making me hold on to him. Just like that, the heavy feeling I’ve been holding evaporates and is replaced by an overwhelming relief. 

I can smell the fresh dry clean of his clothes, the product on his hair, and probably his sweat all at the same time.  

After all that time spending our relationship virtually, here we are at last. I could just live here in his arms forever.

. . .

MINHO

I feel like I’ve been hugging her for hours when I suddenly realized that we’re actually surrounded by a lot of people. 

So I put her down. She looks up at me with the most beautiful smile on her face, her eyes shimmer with tears. I wipe them away with my thumb. I, so badly, do not want to remove my hand on her face as I got this urge to pull her in and kiss her. But then again, I almost forget that there are a lot of people around us, watching us like a scene from a movie. 

I rest my hand on her shoulder instead.

“Yeah,” Taemin says. “I actually helped her get here. I gave her a ticket and a pass.” 

“I can’t believe you’re here.” The urge to kiss her is intensifying the more I stare at her so I turn to the rest of the guys behind me. “And you all knew about this?” 

“Really?” 

My thought goes back to the time when Taemin seemed like he was hiding something from me. Turns out he really was. But not because they’re betraying me. They were keeping things for me because they were planning something amazing. 

This amazing. I catch the sight of Y/n again. I’m still having trouble believing that this isn’t a dream. It just feels like it. She ghosted me for almost a week, she got me overthinking that there might be something going on between her and Taemin.

“So you two aren’t…?” I ask both of them.

“Aren’t what?” Y/n asks back.

I give them both a certain look, which they should understand immediately.

“Oh, no,” they both say almost at the same time as they look at each other and then back at me.

“No, no, no, no. Absolutely not!” Y/n carries on, reassuring me. “What made you think that?”

I look at Taemin. “Well…”

“Okay, everyone! It’s less than fifteen minutes before resuming the concert. Let’s go, let’s go!” One of our directors abruptly bursts into the room and starts shouting and clapping his hands like the sound of thunder.

“I’ll find you later, okay?” I tell Y/n, in which she instantly nodded to.

“Fighting,” I watch her mouth the word, holding up a fist in front of her.

My heart melts. I can’t hear her anymore because everybody speaks at the same time in the room and starts to roam around to do their respective tasks.

I watch her walk out the dressing room as my stylist fixes my hair. She’s now going back to the audience and resume watching the concert. I really hope she knows how overly happy I am that she’s here even when I couldn’t tell her by words. This is too unreal to grasp.

. . .

Two hours later, the concert has finally ended and I can’t be more satisfied with everything. Kibum and Jonghyun Hyung have just recovered from a good cry for being overwhelmed with all the love that we received tonight. Again, we obviously can never be used to this. 

Once I change into my casual clothes, I go running towards the halls.

I almost trip over Jinki Hyung as I’m in a hurry. 

“Hey, where are you going?” he asks.

“I’ll be right back,” I say, drifting backwards and facing him. “Tell the others I’ll be right back.”

Without waiting for a response, I carry on rushing throughout the long hallway to find Y/n. Apologizing to all the staff I almost knock over as I twist and turn to every corner. I still don’t spot her. She must still be at her seat.

So I reach the heavy door to the stairwell. I push it open and run up the stairs to the second floor where Y/n’s seat was. 

To my luck, I don’t have to run any further. I halt before the next flight of stairs.

“Hey.” There she is. I’m running out of breath.

Y/n was just walking down before I found her.  

I then race toward her. Putting my arms around her waist to lift her off the ground. I almost throw her up in the air because she weighs like a hundred pounds. I can’t contain the happiness running through my veins.

She blares out a cheerful shriek as I spin her around.

I place her back on her feet but she doesn’t dismiss her arms around my neck.

“Oh, my God, Minho! You were so amazing up there. I wouldn’t stop screaming your name! Did you hear me screaming? I’m pretty sure I’m your biggest fan in the whole world!” She is talking so fast and jumping at the same time that she’s making her cut her own breathing short. She’s too excited.

I laugh at her in adoration. “Calm down, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

She giggles as well while taking deep and fast breaths. 

“Okay, do you care to explain something to me?”

“Oh, right! Yeah, in case you haven’t known by now, I came here for you,” she says it like she’s joking because of the big grin on her face.

“Y/n, I’m serious.”

“What? So am I,” she insists. I’m still a little skeptical that she’s literally in front of me. Not on my phone screen, not on my computer screen, but in person. She came all this way just for me.

I sigh. I can’t stop smiling, it’s embarrassing. “Well, you didn’t talk to me for almost a week. You didn’t reply, you didn’t call. Nothing. I got worried big time. You said you were sick.” My smile disappears.

Y/n sighs. “I know, I’m sorry,” her voice switches from excited to tender as she holds both my hands. “I just couldn’t face you with this secret in mind. I’m really bad at lying. Especially to you. I just couldn’t do it. I’m really sorry.”

I shake my head lightly. I love the way she’s looking up at me with those eyes. I could watch them all night as they shine for me.

“What?” 

I shake my head again as I chortle. “Nothing.” I feel like I’m going to burst into stars and flowers. I don’t mean to stare at her. She is just so beautiful.

And to be fair, she is staring right back at me.

Time stops around us. I don’t even care if anybody sees us here. I’m just going to do it. 

“Look, Y/n, I am so so so happy right now. I thought I’m happy enough to be performing tonight, but then you showed up and now I just can’t describe how I feel anymore,” I start.

She doesn’t say anything but she keeps her eyes on mine, tears almost overflowing.

“I was planning on visiting you in Palawan to tell you this, but now that you’re here, I’ll tell you now. I want more of you, Y/n. Not just through Instagram, not as friends. I want to spend lots of time with you from now on. So please don’t die after this.” 

. . .

Y/N

My heart won’t settle down. I still can’t believe what’s happening. Choi Minho is actually right in front of me and I am able to touch him. I can’t keep my eyes off him that it feels like I want to just stare into his eyes for the rest of my life.

“I was planning on visiting you in Palawan to tell you this, but now that you’re here, I’ll tell you now. I want more of you, Y/n. Not just through Instagram, not as friends. I want to spend lots of time with you from now on. So please don’t die after this.”

I watch him slowly lean in closer. He closes his eyes, then presses his soft lips against mine. 

I don’t know what to feel next when I just learned that he read the message I quickly unsent. He wasn’t supposed to have read that, it’s embarrassing!

But the thought fades away when Minho doesn’t let go of me. He pulls away from my hands and places his arms on my waist to pull me in tighter as he opens his mouth to reach into my tongue, making me feel all tingly. 

I shiver through this flaming sensation. This kiss does make me want to die. As it grows lusciously comfortable, I place both my hands on his hips, making a fist on this t-shirt under his hoodie jacket. I start to hum in pleasure.

He moans almost at the same time. He then pulls away before it gets nasty. His eyes are now back on mine for a second.

I smile up at him. Just a few seconds more I might start crying.

He wipes the tears off my face and then kisses me on my forehead.

“Minho.” 

“Hmm?” 

“I love you,” my voice shakes.

He just smiles in response as if he already knew. He picks up my hand and places a kiss just above my knuckles as his eyes don't leave mine. 

“I love you,” he says, again shaking his head. Seems like he is still in disbelief. 

And I let it rip. My tears. I bury my face into Minho’s chest, which is hard from his muscles yet so comfortable from his soft skin. 

I already left a few messages but she hasn't read them. If she's feeling down, why can't she talk to me like she always has in the past couple of months we've been friends?

Friends. That’s right. We’re just friends. Is it weird to think about her this way if we’re just friends? Although she did confess her feelings to me from time to time, I honestly thought it was just a sweet and friendly thing. She’s just expressing how thankful she is.

I remember, it had been only three months since we started talking, and she was quite vulnerable at that time. One night, I video called her after work the minute I got home. When she picked up, I noticed that her cheeks were quite red, her eyes and nose were swollen. She was just crying that very second.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, of course. This is just me. You know I cry every time something touches me,” she said while forcing a laugh.

“I’m sorry I’m not there to hug you at least. Do you want to talk about it?” I said, offering her a shoulder to cry on even when we’re miles apart.

“Okay, umm,” she hesitated. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way.” Her voice was hoarse. “But my life kind of turned around when I met you.”

I couldn't reply and just stared frozen at her on my phone screen. 

“I can tell by the look on your face that what I said was something bad. But I’m telling you, it’s not.”

“Oh, it isn’t?” I thought she was about to cut ties with me because I was such a big distraction in her life. I exhaled deeply.

“You know that I have been going through some crap which, as you know, is why I’m here, right? I just meant that, because of you, my days became a little brighter. I don’t know how you do it, and I guess you also don’t, but it’s just what you do to me naturally. You helped me move forward from the past I have been stuck in for years.” Y/n continued to cry as I listened. I really wished I could hug her.

She has been living in the Philippines for over two years now. I’m glad to know that she’s moving past her troubles and it makes me even happier that I was the one who helped her go through it all. Her expressing it so directly kind of stunned me a little back then, but it was always nice to hear that from her. I might not know everything about her just yet, but what I knew since then was I want to be by her side no matter what. 

. . . 

1 DAY BEFORE CONCERT

It’s the next day now and we are all hanging out at Taemin’s place. To my constant disappointment, Y/n still hasn’t texted me back. It’s been five long days. I can’t take it anymore so I tried calling her.

But nothing.

“Minho, why can’t you just invite Y/n to the concert tomorrow so we all can hang out?” Jonghyun Hyung says as he sits next to me on the couch.

“She’s out of the country, she lives in Palawan,” I tell him. “And you know her name now?” I’m annoyed by how they stick their noses at me ever since they found out about Y/n. 

“It’s nice down there in Indonesia,” Jinki Hyung joins in.

“It’s in the Philippines, genius,” I correct him.

“Right, sorry. I get those two confused.” 

I don’t know what to feel anymore. What could I have done to make her ghost me like this? If she has an issue, why can’t she just tell me? Maybe she’s fed up with me so she needed a break. I can’t demand from her to respond to my messages because we’re just friends. 

I sigh in utter resentment. “I need a drink.”

I get up from the sofa and head towards Taemin’s kitchen, which made me wonder, What’s taking Taemin so long? It’s been a minute since he answered a phone call. 

After I drink a glass of lukewarm water, the thought of a conversation of ours, one before she told me that she wasn’t feeling well, entered my mind again. She sent me a message that seemed like it wasn’t supposed to be sent to me. Perhaps she was texting a friend and texting me at the same time so it might have confused her and mixed it up. 

I know, right? It’d be the death of me if he kissed me. I always think of that moment when I’m in the shower.

I take my phone back out of my pocket and open our chat again. I scroll up to read that same message, but turns out she deleted it. Is that why she refuses to talk to me? It’s because she’s too embarrassed after accidentally sending me that message? 

Okay. So I figure she likes someone. I smile at the thought that it may be me. Based on how we became so close as time went by, how I wish it is. 

However, I might not be it. Sure, she always told me that she’s happy to have met me, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s in love with me. Right? 

We talked about her exes for some time and it was clear that she doesn’t feel strongly about them anymore. Maybe she met somebody at the beach or at a bar or something and have already forgotten about me. 

I cringe at myself, thinking how ridiculous I’m being. 

If it’s not me, then who? 

The second I drift back to reality, a faint voice reaches my hearing coming from one of the bedrooms. It’s Taemin on the phone with somebody. Maybe he’s talking to Kibum, who is late by the way.

I decided to have some little fun and attempt to scare him from behind. I tip-toe all the way from the kitchen to the bedroom and fortunately, the door is ajar so I can hear his voice perfectly clear as I get closer. 

“Whatever. Just text me the address of your new hotel so I can send you the package.” 

Package? My mood suddenly drops once again. Is he sending Y/n another package? Y/n has mentioned a few times that Taemin sent her packages of her favorite instant food packs several times over the years. And she didn’t even mention to me that she’s transferring to a new hotel. What the hell is going on?

Oh, God. I freeze at the thought. It’s Taemin. Y/n likes Taemin. Since he keeps on sending her gifts, does that mean he likes her too? Are they in a secret relationship?

“Yeah. Talk to you later. I’m hanging up now,” Taemin says to the other line as soon as he spots me.

“Who was that, your girlfriend?” I tease him instead of confronting. 

“Hyung. How long have you been there?”

I shrug. “Just a second.”

“That was my brother. He’s staying in Seoul for a while,” he smiles, but I can tell that it’s forced.

. . .

Y/N

I walk out of the airbridge and stop just outside the terminal. Finally, I landed home. God, I missed this place. The smell of the airport is still the same after two years.

After more than an hour through the long line-ups in immigration, baggage claim, and security, I look for my mom among the crowd who’s waiting for their respective arrivals. I don’t see her. I try to call her cell but all I hear is dial tones. 

She’s not picking up, maybe she’s driving and just on her way here. 

So I stray past the growing crowd as I locate for a bench to wait on. When I still can’t contact her, I try calling Taemin instead.

“Taemin!” I shout excitedly. I didn't expect for him to pick up at once.

“Oh, hey, Y/n! Did you just land?” he asks. His voice is quiet but jolly. I’m supposing he’s with his team, including Minho.

“Yes, it was an exhausting four-hour flight,” I complain.

“I literally just got off the phone with the staff. I asked them to bring me some lightsticks, banners and posters for the concert. And lucky for you, Euisoo Hyung managed to get his hands on an extra ticket and backstage pass.”

“You are awesome, Taemin!” I exclaim. “Wait, I don’t have pay for those, right?”

“Of course you do. Do you know how much our concert costs?” he suddenly sounds serious.

“Oh.” My excitement fails.

“No, no, I’m kidding. Calm down.” Now he is laughing.

“Taemin, you devil.” I roll my eyes even though he can’t see me.

“Whatever. Just text me the address of your new hotel so I can send you the package.”

“Will do. God! I’m so excited. I’ll see you at the concert, yeah? Good luck!” I say finally.

“Yeah. Talk to you later. I’m hanging up now.” 

After we hang up, I see an unseen notification from Instagram. I open it, and a series of unread messages from Minho appears. Although it pains me to ignore him, I’d rather not talk to him than lie to him. He left five messages. Some of them are from days ago. He kept telling me that he was getting worried. 

Ugh, I feel so bad.

I scroll up as I read back our messages further. I had to make something up so that I wouldn’t have to message him for a while. I told him that I was stressed and sleepless. That way, he would think that I’d be sick the proceeding days. As it turned out, it seems like he bought it. Again, I am such a bad person for doing this to somebody as kind and sweet as Minho.

As I scroll up even further, I come across an information that says, You unsent a message. “Oh, God,” I cringe at myself. It was supposed to be sent to one of my girl friends but I accidentally sent it to Minho. I hope he didn’t think that I was talking about him. I’d die of embarrassment!

I close our chat conversation since I can’t take anymore of my stupidity.

I stand up then, trying to reach my mom again, browsing around the pick-up area. When I least expect it, a very tall man with grey hair appears in front of me. As soon as I look up, my stomach twists instantly.

I almost drop my phone. “Dad?”

There are tears forming in his eyes. Without saying a word to me, he kneels down and pulls me into a hug. It is tight and long. Then he starts to sob.

I’m holding back my tears. “Dad, I need to talk to you about—”

“No, honey,” he says softly as he pats my back so gently, his voice shaking. “We’re alright. I’m just happy you finally came home.”

In his warm embrace, which I barely received throughout my life, I begin to cry as well as I hug him back.

. . .  

“Alright, Mom, I will come by tomorrow. Love you,” I say sorely before dropping my phone beside me. 

I sit up, rubbing my eyes. The sun has already disappeared. It’s already eight in the evening and I suddenly feel my stomach growling at me. I have not eaten anything since before landing this afternoon. Good thing my mom called me so I awake from my long nap. Despite it, I still feel a little tired.

I notice the folder when I place my phone back on the bedside table. It’s a compilation of contracts from three various modelling agencies my dad had managed to get his hands on with the help of some of his patients. Apparently, it’s his way of saying that he accepts me for who I am and he’ll never try to take control of my life again. And I know he didn’t say it verbally, but he’s sorry. 

“But if you don’t feel comfortable with any of those companies, it’s fine. You decide,” he said to me whilst driving me here to the hotel. That was the sweetest voice I heard from my dad. 

Our drive this afternoon was the best bond we had since he took me to Hong Kong Disneyland when Mom was on her business trip to Europe for a month. I was seven. 

As I continue to stare at the folder with a happy heart, the telephone rings from the other side of the bed.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Miss Y/n? You have a package delivered at the reception. Would you like somebody to bring it up to your room?”

“No, that’s not necessary, I’ll just come and get it. I’m going to store anyway. Thanks!”

When I come back up to my hotel room with the package in hand, a group call from my friends vibrates on my butt. I open my laptop to answer it and we talk for almost two hours while I have my dinner. 

It’s now ten past midnight when I hang up on my friends and I can feel the tiredness running up to my head. I just realized that I haven’t opened the package yet. 

As I open it, my heart starts to race. The thought of meeting Minho in person is surreal to me. But what if he can’t forgive me for ghosting him for almost a week? What if he’d feel differently about me after he sees me? What if he decided that he doesn’t like me back?

Do you know what? Whatever happens, I will forever be thankful for having him in my life. Even if he wouldn’t like me back, who cares? I’d rather be only friends with him than losing him. He is the best thing that’s ever happened to me in a long time. He became the reason why I love waking up in the morning, just to talk to him and hear about his work, his friends, his family. Nobody makes me feel special like he does. 

I am so ready for this! I really hope this goes well.

:: PART 1 ;; PART 2 ;; PART 3 (final) ::

based on a request by @kdrama-i-nation

i apologize that this took so long. this was supposed to be a one-shot instead of a series, i got carried away. but i hope you enjoy. xx

“Really?” Kibum’s eyes widen in incredulity. “Hey, did you know that Minho’s got a girlfriend?” He turns to Jonghyun who just approached our circle.

“No, but I did notice that he’s been a little checked out lately,” Jonghyun Hyung informs everyone. “Wait, is that why? It’s because of her?” he asks me.

“She is not my girlfriend,” I say defensively. “I mean, we’re not there yet.”

“Okay, I’m losing interest,” Kibum declares, turning around with his hands in the air and leaving the conversation.

I sigh in frustration. This has been the longest we haven’t talked at all. Not even a ‘hello’ or a ‘good night.’ The last text she sent me was that she wasn’t sleeping well lately and that she was too exhausted. That was around eleven PM three nights ago. I can’t help but think that she might get sick and that no one can be there to take care of her. Maybe that’s why she’s not able to reply to my messages.

“Don’t worry about it too much. Just give her a little more time. Maybe she’ll have a reasonable explanation,” Jonghyun Hyung says as he taps my shoulder, trying to uplift me. “Come on. Lunch is over. We still have a lot to practice.”

Right, the rehearsal. The boys and I have a concert coming up and we’ve been hard at work for months now. It’s actually a good thing that I’m busy for a while so I can forget about her for at least a second. I can manage to snap out of it in order to focus since another important thing for me is our supporters. I can’t afford to let them down, can I?

But the thing is I haven’t stopped thinking about Y/n ever since we first talked via video call. I don’t normally chat up some random person I meet online and promptly connect with them. This is such a rare occurrence and so unexpected that it overwhelmed me for some time until I got used to that feeling. I got used to her sending me messages about her days, sending me selfies and telling me some random things that make me laugh. 

Now, it all disappeared. I don’t exactly know why.

Six months ago, the day after my birthday, I was trying to dig in more of Instagram since I was literally new at it. I started to follow some film photographers. When I was scrolling down my Explore page, I came across a certain photo. I couldn’t pinpoint the certain detail that caught my attention but it fascinated me immediately. I didn’t think much about it so I hit like. 

It was a grayscale photo of a woman with messy short hair from the wind at a beach somewhere. Her face doesn’t even show because it’s blurry for a motion purpose. It may not be much but I was mesmerized by it. It seemed so aesthetic and I thought it was ingenious and indescribable.

At that very second, I noticed that Taemin liked the photo too. He probably knew the photographer from his solo shoots. 

I tapped on the mentioned model. To my awkward dissatisfaction, her account was private. At least I could read her bio, as what Kibum taught me it’s called. There was nothing much written on there but the South Korean flag, an airplane, and the Philippine flag emojis. Below it, it said Followed by lm_____ltm. 

Curiosity spreads in my head. But at that time, I couldn’t do anything with it but just go back to work, preparing and rehearsing for the drama I was invited to be a part of. 

The next day was a busy one. I had meetings, photoshoots and a magazine interview.

When the night came and I was finally settled at home, I decided to check my Instagram while I rested my tired feet before getting into the shower. 

To my pleasant surprise, I got a message from the girl in the photo I liked. She followed me immediately. I followed her back. Her feed was full of aesthetic and artistic portraits. She also took some great landscapes and some photos are from photographers she worked for as a model. She’s pretty talented.

Hi, Minho! I just want to say thank you for liking the photo. It meant a lot to me so, again, thank you. Hope you had a good day.  

So I wrote a reply. And from there, we chatted for an hour. The basic get-to-know stuff such as childhood, hometowns, job histories, and families. Nothing too deep.

Although unexpectedly, our conversation did start getting deeper, especially when she was talking about her father. She eventually suggested video chat so that it was easier to talk. Her eyes were a little teary while telling me how she felt all her life under her dad’s roof. I was a little surprised when she opened up to me right away, but of course I really wanted to listen as well. I felt honored to learn about her inner personality that early.

We did not only talk about her, but also, I felt comfortable sharing things with her. I told her how much soccer means to me and for the first time, no one made fun of me or told me that soccer is so boring. (Yes, I’m talking about Kibum.) She didn’t cut me off no matter how long I had been rambling about my experience in the military and how my career turned my life around. It’s like she already saw right through me and was just listening while resting her chin on her hand, nodding and laughing along, asking questions when she needed to. She showed me that she was engaged in what I was saying.

After we had to hang up, it felt like we’ve known each other for a very long time. I missed her already.

. . .

8 DAYS BEFORE CONCERT

Y/N

“Oh, honey. I can’t wait to see you,” Mom says on video chat, her voice cracking.

My throat starts to sore from trying not to tear up as well. I haven’t been with my friends and family, basically my real life, for over two years ever since my dad and I had the biggest fight ever. 

“I’m going to pick you up at the airport, okay? I’ll send you the flight details via email.”

“Okay, Mom. Thanks. I’ll talk to you later,” I say, smiling lovingly at her. “I love you.”

“Love you, too, honey,” she says back before hanging up.

And I let it rip. I shut my laptop and cry my eyes out. I have not cried like this since my first day here. 

Before all this happened, I was in my first year of medical school, which was my biggest life frustration. I wanted to be an artist. Still do. My father just never stopped controlling my life even when I turned into an adult. When I told him that I wasn’t going through med school, he just ignored me. But then he found my photos online, that’s when he flipped out. 

“What’s next? Pornography?” he screamed at me. He got so furious that his veins were showing on his temples.

I normally wouldn’t talk back at him, let alone raise my voice in any way at anyone. This time, I snapped. “Being a model and an artist is different from doing porn, Dad. Did you ever even ask what I want? For once, open your fucking mind!”

Before I knew it, a rush of hot sensation electrified on the side of my face, making my sight blurry and my hearing faint for a minute. The next thing I knew was my nose wouldn’t stop bleeding. My father’s slap felt like a punch of a giant considering that he’s six-foot tall and I’m just a five-four. I didn’t get to hear his reproach and his after-all-what-I’ve-done-for-you poppycock, which I’ve heard all my life anyway.

I had it. I had enough. I needed to get out of that house. With my bleeding nose and faint hearing, I went up to my room and packed a suitcase. 

It was my mom’s idea for me to get out of the country and go somewhere far from home, somewhere paradisiacal. Most importantly, being out of my father’s reach in order to heal by myself. Thank goodness my mom is a business woman who travelled a lot and got connections in tourism all over Asia. That’s how she got to send me here in Coron.

I wipe off my tears once I see Minho calling me through video chat on my phone screen. 

I open my laptop again to accept his call.

“Look at this,” he says. His camera moves from side to side, showing me the empty audience area of the Olympic Gymnastics Arena.

“Wow! That is crazy,” I exclaim. “Well, probably not that crazy to you since you’ve done that like a million times?” I giggle at him while he flips his camera so I can see his handsome face.

“I can never get used to this. Really.” He shakes his head in delighted disbelief. “I wish you could be here.”

“I know. I’m sorry I can’t.” I bite my lip. My butthole is cringing as I keep lying to him. I’m just not good at it. The only person I’m good at lying is to my dad. 

“That’s okay. I’ll come and visit you there once my schedule loosens,” he smiles brightly at me.

“Sure, if that ever happens,” I say sarcastically, rolling my eyeballs.

“Shut up,” he laughs. “Anyway, I called so that I can see your face since I won’t be able to see you in a while I suppose. I’m going to be busier this week, with the concert coming up.”

“Yeah, I get it. Just text me whenever. I’ll be right here,” I bite my lip again. That is such a lie. I’m also trying not to react to the fact that he'll miss me.

“Alright. I have to go.”

“Work hard.” I wave at the screen. “Don’t hurt yourself!”

I hear his laugh before hanging up.

I’ve been thinking long and hard about this. I’ve been out here for far too long and I think it’s time to go back and face everything. Face my dad. Maybe that’s the purpose of meeting Minho. I know we haven’t literally met yet, but his impact in my life is unbelievable. Who would’ve thought that I could connect with somebody like this? Given that this has been the lowest point of my life.

I decided to surprise him by showing up to SHINee’s concert next week in Seoul. This gesture doesn’t even begin to express how grateful I am for him to walk into life. It’s just crazy whenever I think about it.

It was six months ago when I first encountered him. My friends back home kept messaging me for days that “Minho from SHINee” liked the photo I was in. 

SHINee? I thought to myself. What’s the big deal then? The name sounded familiar, but I definitely had no idea who Choi Minho was.

So I tried to google ‘SHINee.’ When the results appeared, I immediately recognized Taemin, who I met at a club in Seoul one night. I then randomly ran into him again at a photoshoot of him with a photographer I worked for months before leaving the country. We kind of hit it off then, so we’ve been friends ever since. 

During my stay here in the last two years, Taemin had sent me huge packages of my favorite local junk food several times since he knew that I missed home so much. 

I tried calling him to ask about Minho at the time but he didn’t answer. Typical Lee Taemin. He was always busy. So I just continued relying on Google and YouTube.

I was on the computer for hours just watching every video I found of Minho: performances, fancams, press cons, variety show guestings. I came across his ‘I’m Home’ music video and I remember being incredibly attracted to him right away. In his grey and white luxurious home wear and with his short hair. Also, in the behind-the-scenes video of it, he was so adorable that I was at the brink of fangirling. I watched every music video of SHINee when I couldn’t get enough of him. He’s a real Rap God. And I must say, he looked so hot with red hair.

After realizing that Minho was indeed a big deal, I wrote a message to send him, just to thank him for his appreciation on my photo.

The next night, I heard my phone ding after I got out of the bath.

“Oh, my God.” I gasped. I couldn’t believe that Choi Minho had replied to my message. It’s not even worth replying to. I didn’t realize I didn’t exhale from the gasp until my heart started to jump. 

I really liked your photo. It’s simple yet I connect to it like I can’t describe. Even though your face doesn’t show much, it’s a great photograph in general.

The message said that I received it 21 hours ago. Why did my stupid phone notify me just then? 

My heart wouldn’t stop racing like trying to get out of my ribcage, I was panicking. I don't remember how it happened, but I naturally invited him to video chat after an hour of just texting. 

For my poor heart to handle, he agreed right away.

We talked for hours that night. I genuinely started to feel like I had known him for a very long time. After hearing about his entire military service and his intense excitement for soccer, I didn’t feel like fangirling at all. Well, I did become his biggest fan but in the most supportive friendly way. I remember smiling involuntarily when I watched his eyes burn with so much passion as he spoke about the things he loves. He was telling me about how his life came about in an unexpected turn when he became a singer instead of a soccer player or a sports team owner. His career changed his life in the most beautiful way. Additionally, the love he has for his supporters, the way he talked about them, “Shawol” as he calls them, he doesn’t just refer to them as his fans but rather his family to take care of. It was unbelievably heart-warming watching the glimmer in his eyes and the smile on his face despite the ever-buffering internet connection.

Since then, there was never a day we didn’t text each other on Instagram messenger. Even when he’s busy from all his tight schedules, I’d still send him random selfies and silly voice messages to hopefully relieve him from stress somehow. 

And now, I can’t get more excited to actually be with him. I can finally break these virtual walls and this huge ocean between us. I’ll be seeing him in a week and I’ve never felt this happy in so long. 

Walking down the street, I watch a bus pass by me and towards the stop which is still almost a mile from where I am. I look at my watch, surprised to see that it’s already so late that it’s the last bus to my neighborhood. I force myself to hurry to the bus stop and to my luck, it has already gone by the time I get here.

 Holy shit, I want to cry! This is all too much.

“There’s no way this would get any worse,” I mumble to myself.

I take a long exhausting walk tonight. Since it’s Friday, I bump into different drunk people in suits and in high heels several times. I wonder what they’re going through. There must be something that extremely bothers them that they’d drink this much, or they may have celebrated something. Maybe they just simply wanted to drink for no reason.

As I approach my apartment, about to struggle once again to unlock this broken doorknob, I feel a paper crunch under my sneakers. Confused, I pick up the envelope to check it out.

My heart drops. It does get worse.

It’s an eviction notice.

...

JINKI

I park my car in front of Jonghyun’s building. I walk up three flights of stairs, ignoring all the squeaky noises that I’ve been hearing every time I come here. It’s an old building after all. I offered to live together countless times, told him that it’s just for the purpose of saving money, and at least a helping hand until he moves to a better flat, but he insisted that he wanted to do things on his own, that he hates to be a bother. 

He could never be a burden to me. If anything, he makes my life better. He is my inspiration. He stuck by me all throughout college when I wanted to give up. At first, I thought I liked him just because I needed him. Turns out I need him more now because I love him so much.

I’m about to knock on his door when I notice it ajar.

“Jonghyun! Why did you leave your door open, stupid?” I yell, inviting myself into his small apartment although he is nowhere in sight. When I put down the bag of food I brought for us on his kitchen counter, I see an unopened envelope. It’s another eviction notice. This has happened three times now. The first two, I just secretly paid for. This time, apparently, he saw it first.

I suddenly hear the bathroom door screech open and bang shut, making me jump.

“Oh, you’re here,” Jonghyun calls out behind me, making me jump again.

“God, you scared me!” I turn around to face him then he kisses me on the corner of my mouth. He’s wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips. His hair is dripping, my eyes only saw his prominent chest. 

I swallow. “Umm, is your lock broken again?”

“Yeah, I have a spare one right there,” he points under his coffee table. “I’ll get to it after I get dressed.”

“Let me do it,” I insist, taking the hardware store paper bag and unpack whatever’s inside as Jonghyun heads to his bedroom. I hear his wardrobe open and close. 

“Where’s your screwdriver?” I shout.

“Here.” He walks towards me and hands it to me, splashing droplets of water everywhere from his hair. 

“I bought chicken and beer.” I say while replacing his whole doorknob. I’m pretty used to fixing things up since where Minho and I lived together in college wasn’t a very nice place either. 

...

JONGHYUN

I grab two cans of beer from the counter and sit on the floor behind the coffee table in the living room. “Maybe we should just move in together,” I randomly say to Jinki who is at my door fixing the lock.

I don’t hear a response so I get up and stand behind him after I place the cans down.

I rest my chin on his shoulder while I hug him from behind. “I mean, it would make much more sense, right?

He turns his head to face me and just smiles. 

“What?” I ask him. 

“Okay,” he says, carrying on turning the screws.

“Really?”

“Well, I‘ve been offering you to live with me ever since you moved out here.”

That’s true. Jinki has always offered to help me. He lived in this city two years before I did. He stands by me because he believes in me and he doesn’t fail to remind me that everyday. Thinking about this makes me cry. 

So I let go of him and look at the floor. Eventually, I start weeping.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks.

“I’m just thinking about how you were always there for me, but all I do is decline your help,” I say, my voice cracking. I wipe my tears away before sitting down by his feet.

He drops the tools on the ground and kneels down to give me a comforting hug and a kiss on the forehead. 

I’m crying even more, now with an entirely different reason. That eviction notice is the last straw. It just proves how messed up my life is right now. Moving in with Jinki would make things easier. More importantly, I’m not going to be alone anymore as I let him in. So much for the plan.

“I know, I know,” he hugs me even tighter while caressing my hair. He understands how fragile I am. He knows how much I need him. Even when I didn’t need him, or at least when I thought I didn’t, all the time he tells me that he’s grateful and happy to have me in his life. And that's just enough boost to keep me going. 

... 

JINKI

A few minutes have passed and I just finished fixing Jonghyun’s door. I look around the room to find him drinking the beer I bought him while watching TV. 

“Jinki! Are you done? Come and sit with me,” he shouts weakly.

Without saying anything, I proceed towards him and join him on the couch.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Jonghyun tells me as he lays down and uses my lap as his pillow.

I stare down at him, noticing his nose is still red from weeping. I still don’t say anything to respond but just smile at him lovingly. 

“Listen, you know what I want to do before leaving this place? Something we haven’t done before.”

I think for a second. No idea. “What?” I say, grabbing the unopened can of beer on the coffee table.

He sighs. “You’re so pure, Lee Jinki,” he teases me. He always does make fun of me for being with one girl for seven years. 

While I moped around because of my break-up, I watched him going in and out of relationships with different people back in college. Kibum was too wild for him while Taemin was too immature as he told me. Girls he had flings with are just experiments since he never got attached too deeply.

He sits up and turns around to face me. He starts looking into my eyes. 

I stare back, still unsure about what's happening. 

He sees right through me and lets out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “You’re so cute.” The next thing I know is he’s leaning closer to me and placing a kiss on my lips for a good two seconds. After another three seconds, he adjusts himself and tilts his head slightly to dig in deeper. His tongue starts to slide into my mouth.

My eyes open widely in shock when I finally know what he meant. I’ve always been nervous about doing it with a man. Jonghyun already attempted twice but I always got scared and backed off. But now’s the time. I want to.

He pulls away, his expression looks seriously devilish as he doesn’t break eye contact. I swallow, feeling sweat forming along my scalp. 

Despite my racing heart, I let him kiss me again. This time, I kiss back. Playing my tongue with his and cherishing his every taste. I climb onto his lap so that he’s in between my legs. I wrap my arms around his neck as we continue making out. 

He feels so amazing. 

The heat from our bodies combined intensifies. He begins undressing his upper half and does mine next. He nudges me a little to signal me to get off. I then follow him as he takes my hand and stands up to bring this along to his bedroom. I shut the door a little too hard that the thud echoes as if to the entire building.