Diary Card

self-worth

because they’re maladaptive, they don’t feel at all like impairments until we work out which environments, thought patterns and impulses are responsible. a lot of the time, having a personality disorder just feels a little…off. We know we’re not getting what we want out of life and we know we just don’t seem to relate at all to most people. A lot of us live in regret because of past actions, yet lack the executive function to avoid making the exact same mistakes again, and again, and again. A personality disorder is just like a security blanket. It keeps us safe from a seemingly hostile world by using fear, fury and fantasy. We don’t have the pragmatism to count our breathing when consumed by rage or anxiety. Yoga and a Healthy Diet™ does not permeate enough aspects of life to be totally effective - as soon as we’ve left our bikram class or shuddered down our kale and avocado smoothie (which is light years away from our comfort zone) we immediately regress into our symptoms again when we encounter the next situation. splitting feels cathartic at first to somebody with BPD. approval satisfies the lust of HPD for as long as it lasts. Staying indoors feels calming to a person with AvPD or PPD. Fantasy is the only way a Schizotypal personality can cope with the restrictions and realities of real life. The psychiatric term for these conditions is “ego-syntonic” - we feel numb and disorientated, not better, when we step away from our maladaptive instincts. please be considerate of this and try to assume that we’re doing our best, even when it doesn’t seem that way.

OUTSIDE. THE NORMAL RANGE. OF HUMAN EXPERIENCES

Even if your mind knows, Your heart never expects it