人生の奮闘
The temptation to believe the lies you’re told not to believe about yourself.
The turmoil each day in the fight for a meaningful existence.
The struggle to come to terms with where you stand in the war between not wanting to live but also not wanting to die.
Where does it all end? When will it end? What will it take to overcome the overwhelming feeling of unimportance in a world where you are demanded to be important or be nothing at all? Why do only deaf ears receive a voice which wants to be heard but seems to travel at all the wrong frequencies?
Accomplished tasks go thankless and successes fall by the wayside. Small errors become glaring and miscommunications turn to wounding words. Hope fades to cynicism and patience forgets its existence. The joy of serving is overshadowed by the terror of disappointment. The once-calm demeanor now riddled with buried anger and nervous habits.
Despair is a deadly indulgence, and when each constructive praise is negated and reduced by two destructive insults, it becomes all the more tangible of a fire to play with.
I can only wonder how long until the fire plays with me.
Rescue me, Lord, if I am not beyond saving.
