❝ Life was boring but death manages to be even more boring. ❞

❝ I wanted to die, I guess the universe has a sense of humor… ❞

❝ Forget deleting my browser history, just burn it all! BURN IT! ❞

❝ I died with my face closer to my crotch than I would’ve liked. ❞

❝ Oh- Oh that. Yeah… uh… the (weapon) is kinda gonna stay in my skull… ❞

❝ Hey (name), want some sweet ghost ass? ❞

❝ Great, now I’m sad, anxious and dead! ❞

❝ Man, movies make the things ghosts can do look way more awesome. ❞

❝ My job is that irritate you, forever, and ever.. and then drag you to hell with me. ❞

❝ Hey… hey… wake up. Wake up… Don’t make me turn on a light man, I will. ❞

❝ I died and nobody cared… ❞

❝ After years of work, all I get is a minute of silence?! ❞

❝ You bastards didn’t even fucking wait for my body to cool before taking my stuff?! ❞

❝ The inside of your walls is fucking disgusting, you pig. ❞

❝ Cut me some slack, it’s my first day being dead. ❞

❝ I’m not even the worst thing hunting this room! ❞

❝ Do I fucking look to you as a little girl in a Victorian gown?. ❞

❝ I throw things around because… honestly… (color) accents on a Gothic house? ❞

❝ Okay, maybe I did try to kill you, but it was just once. Grow up. ❞

❝ Congrats, dipshit. You paid money for an exorcist when I’m not a demon! ❞

❝ Yes, there are corpses in the house but also led pipes, so which one is worse? ❞

❝ I’ve been saving your dumb ass from death since you were a baby! A baby! ❞

❝ Boooh- OH GOD, THROW ON SOME CLOTHES! FUCKING EXHIBITIONIST! ❞

❝ If I wanted to kill you, I would’ve done it already. You are not very smart pal! ❞

❝ THE PLAGUE?! HOW FUCKING OLD DO YOU THINK I AM?! ❞

❝ Hi, hello, can you please take down those awful fucking curtains? ❞

❝ You have terrible taste in movies- STOP SCREAMING. ❞

❝ Holy water? Crucifixes? Crosses? This isn’t a movie, you idiot. ❞

❝ Actually - [slaps them] - I can touch people who I am attached to! ❞