these worn hands

DEXTER FITZGERALD : OVERVIEW

“I never had the chance to go to Paris- or well I did… but it didn’t. It didn’t pan out.” She and Chris had planned to honeymoon in Paris, spend some time with just the two of them. Before everything had gone to shit, Bobbi had really been looking forwards to it, to seeing the Louvre and eating at all the fantastic restaurants and cafes. She knew Chris was looking forwards to it for a different reason, but at the time she didn’t want to think about it. Now, she was too busy to think about it, and her features only darkened momentarily at the memory of the man she had thought she’d loved. “But that’s neither here nor there and I definitely can’t go now.”

His praise was more than welcome, after spending the last few days arguing with everyone about Sanctuary’s course of action, and Bobbi’s slight smile grew. “I’ve always loved teaching, seeing faces light up in recognition as they get whatever concept I’m talking about. But with all this, it’s hard to get them to get it when I don’t even get it.” Almost unconsciously, her eyes darted to his lips as he wet them. “Uh- Yeah, libraries.” She straightened, fumbling with a hair tie so she could pull her hair back. “Blueprints would be… fantastic, actually. If we can get into the city’s town hall or something, there would logically be more information there with blueprints, more extensive maps… Maybe even information about the city’s water system.”

“I wish I had appreciated it more,” Dexter wished he had appreciated a lot of things more, regret was a thing that gnawed at his insides but he shifted from the topic rather easily. “My parents took my sister and I, it was during a business trip of theirs so we didn’t get to stay long but what I did see was beautiful.” It was mostly his sisters experience Dexter had been preoccupied with rather than his own. Once again he nodded, more an internal agreement that visiting Paris was near impossible and it saddened him, the reminder that the rest of the world was shit too and that Paris was likely beyond destroyed. Memories were all Dexter had anymore anyway and it took him a second to shake them from his mind and refocus on the real topic at hand. 

“That’s beautiful,” Dexter breathed in reply, you’re beautiful, Dex thought for a moment, almost flushing before he dropped his gaze from Bobbi’s and he huffed a small laugh to himself as his words could definitely be taken in a more flirtatious way, to which he didn’t correct, he simply smiled more, mostly to himself but soon he returned his gaze to Bobbi. “That’s smart, Town Hall is likely to have the information we need, I was thinking archives in a library but your idea is better.” 

Dex always worked hard, worked too much, even when he was younger and his parents were off trying to find some sort of cure for his sister. This trait was only magnified to an extremely unhealthy one as it was tuned to a fine point where Dexter knew how to stay alive but still expend himself way more than he needed to. It was as much his coping mechanism as it was his desire to keep people safe, something that was capitalized within him by not only his parents but also the military.

    He’d come to the realization that the reason why he took things upon himself so readily, was because it was the easiest way for him to deal with SHIT. When life gives you a bad deal, you make the best of the hand you’ve been given, perhaps that made him appear to be an optimistic person; that was his fault really, Dexter had taught himself to keep things bottled up in the process of becoming a guardian.That didn’t mean, however, he had just good thoughts, often times when he was alone, like now, his mind wandered to the darker and somber side of himself. He missed his sister, hated that he couldn’t have saved her, it would likely haunt him for as long as he survived, or, until he learned to forgive himself for something that was out of his control.

   There was a bitter chill that ran down his spine and numbed his face, causing the man to suck in a soft breath and involuntarily shiver, gazing upon the vast and eerily dark landscape on the other side of the barrier, watching for any sort of movement, his hands rubbed against his thighs a bit before he shifted and habitually checked the weapon strapped to his side, mostly trying to stay awake but also trying to keep his legs from falling asleep and becoming too restless. He’d been at his post for the last five hours, making it just a few hours before dawn and although he would not admit it, Dexter was EXHAUSTED, but the military spent too much time and money training him how to stay alive. So he would keep using that skill, that training, to keep others safe for as long as he could.

    The tension that straightened his back a little was what told Dexter someone was near, a slight shift and only partial glance over his shoulder confirmed his detection. A wave of anxiety rippled through the man, possible conversation wasn’t exactly something he was mentally prepared for at the moment, he had been far too gone into his mind, lost in thought and reflecting, Dextera small breath to command the panic and making it subside as he cleared his throat, focusing his sight upon the outside once again. “You’re up early.” It was the only greeting he offered aside from another small glance at the person, Dex wasn’t sure whether or not they had been searching for him or had simply come over to engage him socially, but he knew he wouldn’t get over the anxiety unless he initiated the conversation. He had always been this awkward and socially anxious person, even before the god damn apocalype, Dex would admit he was worse now, however, even with people he’d gotten used to by now let alone new people.

The laugh that came from Bobbi’s mouth was probably better described as an amused huff, but she gave Dex a grateful look. She’d spent the last week knee deep in everything within Sanctuary, counting and recounting and recounting and writing everything down, and it felt as though her mind was swimming in numbers and terms that she couldn’t understand any longer. “ I’ll add that to the schedule- right after the trip to Paris- but before our International Space Station tour. ”

She set the marker down on the side of the small white board and placed her fingers against her temples. “ I will go on record and say, I have never regretted going into a teaching career- until this very moment. Why couldn’t I have gone into construction or architecture or something? ” She exhaled, closing her eyes against the oncoming headache. “ We’re going to need runners to bring back more wood and metal- and I’ll see if Faust can’t grab a book on construction or something from a library. See if we can’t find some blueprints. ”

He could have hoped for a happier noise but Dexter never had been the best at jokes, his sister compared them to their father’s jokes and that was enough for Dex to know they were more often terrible than anything else. Still, the small huff of a laugh that emitted from Bobbi’s lips and the look that followed was enough to make his lips turn up into a gentle smile. The man paused for a moment, blue gaze moving over her features as she added her own destinations, one of which he’d been to. “Can’t say anything about the International Space Station, but Paris is beautiful--” he hummed thoughtfully, although he’d been a teen when he’d visited and it hadn’t exactly been for pleasure, Dexter’s mother made sure his sister and he got to see some sights. 

starter - open location - town hall

“ Okay, so- we’ve got the harvest in, so we’re good on food. ” Bobbi marked off a box next to ‘food’. “ And the well seems to be full after all the snow melted. So we don’t need to worry about water, any time soon. ” A weight seemed to be lifted from her shoulders as she ticked off another box. “ We just need to get the walls reinforced, fix the electricity in the infirmary and… ” She glanced around, looking at the dim lighting inside the Town Hall. “ here, and… build a whole new house. Honestly, we’re not in as bad a shape as I originally thought we were. ”

It was no secret that Dexter had been more than just stressed, a common state for the man despite his composed appearance, his eyes gaze it away and if that wasn’t enough the dark circles under his eyes would have made it certain he should have been taking better care of himself. But that just wasn’t something Dexter could do, a trait that had always been his undoing, at least he was sitting, feet propped up on the chair next to him while he gently rested his cheek against on hand which was supported by the table at which they sat. He was tired but there was a determination about him, something that was reinforced with the accomplishments that Bobbi listed off, the tension seemed to leave her and in turn Dexter relaxed a bit as well. “Make sure you put down ‘take a vacation to the bahamas’-- on that list,” the man added, tapping the table with the index finger of his free hand before he let the shadow of a smirk press at his lips. Dexter nodded slowly a few times, mentally adding his own tasks, ones he would likely take upon himself to accomplish. “God knows we’ll need it after building an entire house.”