Property of Miss Paula

this is the view the @the-queen-snake loves to give me the most, her gorgeous legs with that.. special anklet. it helps reminds me that just because im a Miss and just because I control others, it doesn't mean I'm out of her otherworldly grasp. she's resourceful enough to find a ladycage if i do something wrong, it would add a nice key to her collection.

(The following is an insightful piece written by Tumbelina, a lady who is very much a converted chastity advocate)

The funny thing is that the sight of a cock lock and the idea of male chastity, would make even the most open minded vanilla person cringe. Most view this concept as a twisted fetish, very one sided by way of benefits for a woman, and as being cruel to endure on a man’s part.

However, what many fail to see is that Mother Nature by default causes an imbalance in relationships between a man and a woman. Women are at a disadvantage, and by design the male sex libido prevents a man from fully investing in a relationship to the extent a woman does. He is unable to do so, because he requires a part of himself to be reserved for his own sexual needs and his impulsive self gratification cycle. This cycle in itself, comes with chemical changes in the body, of which cause a diminished level of investment on his part.

If more vanilla people knew this, women would be running out and buying cock locks like they did back when they lost their minds over 50 Shades of Grey. Vanilla men don’t want women to catch on to this, as their relationships would cause them to divorce their dicks or risk divorcing their wives.

How does male chastity benefit an everyday normal relationship outside of sexual? The biggest benefit is the side effects and resulting symptoms of abstinence from masturbation, that lend themselves as positives to the relationship. Men may not see these as positive benefits, but the fact that it provides for true will power and it refines a man’s behavioral psyche…

You see, the process of masturbation involves a mental compulsion, that prompts a physical sexual impulsiveness… It’s actually a very primal behavior and equivalent to the level of an animalistic mentality. Altering the course of this cycle produces more refined and sophisticated human behaviors. It allows for a transferring of resources to the emotional part of the brain, and it prompts a man to seek out fulfillment on a deeper level. It essentially bypasses the dick drain distraction, and allows for the brain to become more aware of its surroundings. It’s almost like turning down the blaring stereo music, and finally realizing that hey ‘listen, I hear birds chirping outside!’… A sound that went unrecognized when the self serving dick rock concert played on infinite repeat lol…

The biggest benefactor that not many people realize?

Male masturbation creates an emotional barrier in relationships and allows a man to remain somewhat disconnected in a very self sufficient and self serving way. Chastity helps remove this barrier and causes a man to have a deeply rooted dependency for his spouse. With masturbation, a man’s emotional offerings are at a level that’s considered sufficient for a male, but insufficient on a female level. Chastity ups a man’s offerings to the level a female requires in order to feel ultimate fulfillment. The very reason why women are known as naggers, always wanting more… ‘It’s never good enough’ is because of the masturbation barrier… If this was not a factor, women would not be associated with these undesirable traits because we’d be much more content. Women wouldn’t feel the need to ‘fight for their food’ and look to secure their emotional meals.

These female feedings do not exclude sex! Chastity forces a man to become truly invested in her pleasures. Men are naturally known to be pleasers in bed… Many men I’ve known have had the mentality ‘I’ll make you come and when you’re done I’ll come’… That’s a considerate male… At best… Understand that this mentality is STILL SELF SERVING on a man’s part! He requires this to stroke his ego. A man needs to feel as though he’s taken care of business, and then gotten his too by getting physical gratification. Once again, it’s double feedings for his needs, and most often she’s faking the orgasms to help stroke him even more. Our emotional ego is tied into our sexual one, whether we’re having sex or saying ‘I love you’ our core needs are being nurtured. This is why a woman is at a disadvantage as she loses out overall.

Masturbation in a relationship is selfish and self serving on a man’s part… Chastity allows for balance and is a selfless act that a man should be willing to embrace if he truly loves his spouse and wants her to find ultimate fulfillment and happiness. When it comes to a woman’s emotional needs, her cup is never full if masturbation is a factor. Chastity increases a man’s tolerance and it neutralizes his male aggressiveness… It also satisfies a woman to the extent that it neutralizes her excessive needs and the feeling that she has to chase down her emotional and sexual meals… There would be a lot more successful relationships and happier couples if the masturbation barrier didn’t exist.

Think about this for a moment…

Sex means the most to a man (as it ties to his emotional ego) and emotional fulfillment means the most to a woman (as it ties to her sexuality) … As a man, Imagine what it would be like if your sex life lacked fulfillment? Your spouse could never quite deliver the quality of sex that makes you feel content… And it was always just ok and sufficient cause there’s no other option… But deep down you know it could be better? This is the exact situation a woman encounters in a relationship, when it comes to her emotional needs. Her emotional fulfillment threshold is at a female level, yet his offerings are limited to the male threshold that he himself finds sufficient… And it’s due to the energy he must reserve for the personal relationship he has with his penis. Men always have this expectation that it’s a woman’s duty to deliver the goods and take care of a man’s needs, if she expects him to stay invested and not stray… Yet a woman is expected to stay equally invested regardless of the level of emotional fulfillment….

He still gets to have his self serving sexual gratification cycle on the side and offer only the left over energy and resources available… While she remains fully invested at all times. The reality is even if a woman engages in masturbation, it does not have the same chemical effects to her female brain and body, and she is able to maintain full investment in the relationship.

Kind of a double standard don’t you think? If a man has those expectations of a woman, he should be willing to hand over all of his sexual/emotional energy and invest it ALL into the relationship. Lastly, the reason why men are viewed as more independent than women is because they have the ability to fully satisfy their most primary need (being sex) all on their own. The idea that they need not depend on a woman for the one thing they cannot live without.

Women on the other hand, are incapable of serving their most primary need (being emotional) without the help of their male spouse. He holds the key to her ultimate fulfillment, and he also holds the key to his own ultimate fulfillment. This is why men have the upper hand as being the more dominant sex. Yes, women are a male weakness… But it’s a desire not a need. Chastity equalizes that all…. As long as men have access to masturbation, they never truly have both feet invested in a relationship and to the point of dependency. Chastity evens out the playing field and allows for a fair game with no one side having an upper advantage over the other.

In a man’s defense, he cannot be faulted for this… As he himself has no control over the male sex brains compulsions and resulting impulsive behaviors. However, a man does have control over the choices he makes to help bypass and remedy this cycle. Making the ultimate sacrifice that allows him to become fully invested in the relationship.

My husband introduced me to Male Chastity.  He brought to my attention there was something called a Cock Cage.  I thought that sounded immediately fun, and told him to go ahead and order one.

A week or so later this plastic CB-600 cage showed up! Yes, let’s put it on right now!

I immediately thought it was great fun, and loved to make him wear it and torture him with teasing.  What was not to like? I just thought it was fun. It immediately put a smile on my face, but then again, I didn’t take it more seriously than that. It was fun.

But he always wanted ‘more’… and I admit I saw it as just ‘another thing to do’.  It’s not that I didn’t want to do things for my husband, I did, I just started to see it as something more I had to do, and we were both busy.

But what changed was when I saw that Male Chastity games were for ME TOO. I wanted him locked, because I got what I wanted.  And I really liked getting what I wanted.  I was good at receiving what I wanted.

I just didn’t want to work for it as if it were a burden!  But then I saw it as a co creative game between the two of us. And I started to really look at what I got from this arrangement. 

What do I get from Male Chastity?

A Body Servant -  My husband daily rubs my shoulders, or my feet.  At least once a week he sets up the massage table and I get a deep, full, 2 hour massage.  When we watch TV, he sits behind me and rubs my shoulders.  I don’t get tired of this. I don’t rub him back, though I am affectionate with him. I’ve gotten used to his strong hands giving my body the work it needs, daily.  This is just the way it is, and I love it.  I hear from other women whose men hardly ever touch them, and I’m shocked. I’m spoiled for usre.

A Sex Slave – My husband’s focus is on pleasing me sexually.  I don’t care about pleasing him sexually. We have sex when I want, and I get the orgasms.  There is an old Quinn Klaxon caption that says: Only She Cums. Yep.  I have as many orgasms as I want, and I want far more now that we have this arrangement, and he doesn’t have any, or very few.  Doesn’t bother me at all. My sexual pleasure first, and really… only my sexual pleasure.  He serves me fully in this regard. (And yes, I realize he gains great sexual pleasure from serving me, and touching me, and seeing me in pleasure).

Cook/Housekeeper – My husband does a lot of housekeeping, and most of the cooking.  I clean dishes once in a while, and the house, because I enjoy helping out and I’m a part of the family.  But he does the most of it, and I’m happy about that. The best part is that he does it the WAY I LIKE IT.

Gentleman – My husband treats me with deep masculine respect, and takes care of me like a true gentleman. In speech, in attention, and in service. He’s there for me, he’s strong, he’s mostly silent, he’s still, and he’s my rock upon which I am secure.  I love his deep masculine strength and how he takes care of me. 

Fun – It’s a lot of fun to keep your man locked and focused on you. The power, the teasing, the love, the service, sometimes even the sadism (just a little!). Yeah… I get a lot of fun and creativity from the whole thing.

So What Does He Get?

Writing that out it sounds very one sided, but it’s actually not.  To understand that let’s look at something I read years ago. 

A Submissive wants to told what to do. 

A masochist needs pain. 

A slave is pure service to his/her Domme/Dom.

While we have fun with me telling him what to do, and punishing him and torturing him and teasing him… deeply my husband loves me and channels all of his sexual energy into a depth of connection through service. It’s kinky weird, but it really isn’t. It’s love. Deep service not just to me, but to the FEMININE.  He’s powerful man who chooses to channel is love in a certain way.  He’s not unlike Taoist sexual masters who avoid orgasm and circulate their energy in full body orgasms.  Again, we are kinky, and have a shit ton of fun with that stuff… but deep underneath it all, this is a loving partnership relationship that keeps the spice going long, long, after most people’s has faded.

He also gets a shit ton of sexual energy from me.  We play like we were kids.  Still. Year after year.  Something about teasing the shit out of him…

So What Are My Duties?

This was the part that got me started writing. You see, I wanted him to do all of the things above without me having to do anything.  I know.  Kind of shitty, but it went back to old stuff in my head about sexual duties. I’ve got to do all this stuff… FOR HIM.  Then I realized A) I like doing things for him, and B) keeping him in chastity actually is a FUN sexual duty and C) It pays off (see above list).

Keep Him In Slave Mode

There is a place he goes to in service to me, that is slave, it’s an emotionally charged depth of love and service, and it’s what keeps him going.  It sexually charged submission slave service. It’s not the submission I was talking about above, it’s the SLAVE offering, of a man willing to die for his family to protect them.  Intimately connected to death in some ways.  But this is a ‘sexually charged’ submission, a state of being. That’s my job, to feed that state. Keep him in this ‘submissive’ state.  That requires me to be dominant, and these are the things I do to stay dominant, and keep him submissive.

One – Control His Cock With a Cock Cage – Control the orgasm, control the male. He is kept in chastity longer and longer now.  It works. He enjoys it, it’s a fun challenge for him, and I enjoy, it gives me power and pleasure, and it deepens his submission.  Gives him access to a deeper masculine focus on the feminine.

Two –Service – He wants to do things for me. Give him things to do, and do it in a sexy way.  Part of the game is MAKING him do it.  FORCING him to do it. Now of course, he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to, he’s grown man, but if I TELL HIM to lick my pussy, or clean the house, in a dominant sexy way, we both have a lot more fun.  I used to think it was a job to give him things to do, but then I realized I was doing that all the time anyway. Can you take the trash out? Can you pick up eggs on the way home? Can you call your Mother and tell her we are going to be late for Sunday dinner?  Can you give me a footrub, my heels are killing me from walking in them all day at work?  Can you change the oil in the car? I ask him for things ALL THE TIME… anyway.  So why not making it a game and TELL HIM he has to do it because he’s a slave?  Yes, it’s more work, but it works, and it’s actually fun. And why not make taking the trash out fun?

Three – Discipline – My husband benefits from being beaten once in a while, I think it’s a BODY thing, not that he needs it, and I have a bit of a sadist streak liking to beat him.  Also… there is the sexy POWER dynamic. I tell him to do something, he doesn’t do it, there are consequences. It’s sexy. It’s powerful. He breaks the rules once in a while just to feel my power, which then gives him that deep slave feeling.  So yes, I have to discipline him sometimes, and it can be really fun, and really creative. I’ve come up with some really fucked up punishments. I impress myself sometimes. He tests the limits of my rule… and sometimes I get tired of that… but things are always better if I stay firm and consistent.

Four – Tease and Denial – Build suspense.  Give him energy, give him energy… and pull it back last second. This seems cruel, if someone did it to me I would slit their throat, but he loves it and I love it too.  It’s a big part of the work… giving him that pleasure of teasing… and it helps put him into slave mode, which gives me more focus on me. 

Five – Experience as much pleasure as possible. Porn stars make ridiculous noise for a reason. The masculine LOVES to see the feminine in pleasure.  Women I talk with have a hard time understanding this, they feel embarrassed, etc.  But if you have loud orgasms, and with as much energy as possible enjoy his slavery… he’s going to fucking love it. And it’s something that really keeps him going and keeps him in slave mode.

Sum it Up

Cage his cock and lower his status (he’s a slave, you are a mistress)…

Give him things to do in a fun sexy way…

Punish him regularly for not doing them or not doing them correctly (in a fun nasty dirty sexy way)…

Tease him sadistically with tons and tons of feminine sexual energy but denial him that ultimate ejaculation…

While enjoying it so deeply and thoroughly with such feminine bliss and radiance and pleasure that he can’t help but worship you.

-X

No complaints slut I know you can take it

My strap is next