Introduction post.
Welcome, genuinely if you decided to read all of this. To get started as a general TW, this whole entire blog will include triggering content. I'm not going into all the buzzwords, this is a BPD blog where I vent my emotions. A blog where I will slowly began to journal my days. My BPD alongside other issues make my memories incredibly spotty, so this blog was born to help with that. If this is something you're interested in, keep reading. If this'll freak you out, or make you relapse, I highly encourage you to stay away from my blog. If you decide to continue, it’s at your own risk. So please be warned and safe.
Admin Information.
Name: Estimada (Or Esti)
Age: 22
Gender: Genderfluid
Sexuality: Bisexual (Possibly lesbian/also possibly asexual?)
Race: Mexican-American
Location/TMZ: EST-Southern USA.
I'm a full time college student, alongside full time worker. I will sometimes vent or stress about these things on this blog.
Whether it be about my general feelings towards juggling all these things, or how it affects me as an incredibly mentally/physically unwell person. I will also blog and stress about most things of my life.
It is also important for me to stress I am from the south, and despite being from an area where I was hated in many aspects I adore my home. I am proud of my southern heritage and that will be prevalent through my blog.
I am also incredibly proud of my Mexican heritage, so I do not take kindly to people who will disrespect either of my individual identities.
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General Information:
† I have numerous mental illnesses which will be discussed heavily within this blog. I will be documenting all of it as it is, the lows and highs. The list below is some of my current diagnoses.
Borderline personality disorder
Major depressive disorder
Complex PTSD
Derealization disorder
Dissociative amnesia
Panic disorder/Major panic disorder
Binge eating
Avoidant personality tendencies
ADHD
Autism
ARFID
† I have experience a lot of trauma throughout my life, probably too much. It will be discussed sometimes on this blog. I blocked out a lot of trauma so inevitably I will write a memory that resurfaces, but I won’t tag it. Below is some of the trauma which will be discussed.
Familial abuse (Physical/Mental/Psychological)
Substance abuse
Domestic abuse (On both ends)
incest
Child sexual abuse
Sexual Abuse, Harassment, and Assault
Parentification of children
Poverty
Homelessness
Illnesses/health issues
Self harm/Suicidal thoughts
Grooming
Age gap relationships
Unstable relationship dynamics
Intense paranoia/Psychosis episodes
† I am physically ill/disabled, below is some of the issues I am currently struggling with.
Fibromyalgia
Nerve issues with my spine/back
Joint issues/Joint inflammation
Currently unknown autoimmune disorders/diseases
Chronic lung issues
† This blog while it will be negative, will also be filled with the highs of my life and my progress through dealing with my mental health and general health issues. I want to make progress through my life as I want to be able to live.
† I am not interested in romantic relationships or romance in itself. In fact I am terrified over the fact I will have to find a romantic partner to care for me in the future. Besides that, I am in a queer platonic relationship. They are possibly my favorite person, and I am completely fixated on them. Any talk of devotion or fixation is usually about them.
† I have a younger sibling whom I raised. For anon purposes I will call them ‘fawn’ as they are my baby. I will discuss them on my blog but will stop if anyone is odd about the dynamic we have. No. I did not birth them, but I love them like my own child.
† I will post/reblog things primarily to do around the Morute/Rotten girl/Trauma girl/Southern gothic aesthetic. That includes strong images of blood, teeth, cute gore, and so on.
† I am actively seeking out help and I am not actively suicidal. I actually want to keep living, even if I am incredibly apathetic and at times pessimistic.
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Rules.
† I can and will block whoever I want, this is my phone and I have been through way too much to let someone bother me on it.
† I am an adult. I have adult responsibilities. I will be busy. I like to make that clear from the beginning so if I don’t respond back fast or post enough, assume that.
† If you are anti-getting better or anti-support then I will not hesitate to not interact with you or simply ignore your existence.
† I don’t care if you use my post or post them to a different website, but I asked I be tagged.
† This is a safe place even if you’re not diagnosed, if you’re just suspecting or you’re not sure what you have.
† I post and reblog aligning to my blog. I don’t owe anyone anything.
† I have my QPR.
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DNIS/No’s.
† Racist
† I will not interact or talk to any minors. If you are below 16+ do not interact with my blog in anyway.
† Incest Apologist
† DD/LG sexual engagers
† Anti healing/Anti therapy
† ED tumblr/supporters
† Incest enjoyers/watchers
† Cluster B haters
† If you even frequented ‘bpdlovedones’ just block me before I do it to you.
† Cluster B villainizers (Including those with bpd who claim that other cluster b disorders are inherently evil.)
† Southern/Country haters. I’m not lying if you hate this stuff just stay away or I’ll block you I don’t care. I don’t want to talk to anyone who hates my home.
† If you claim bpd as the ‘yandere illness’ get off of my blog + block me before I do it to you.
† If you don’t plan to respect my boundaries involving my romantic interest and towards my QPR, just go.
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End.
Well that’s the end of my introduction post as I feel I went over everything for this blog. I am always open for moots/getting to know people, especially those with cluster b disorders. My inbox is open and I am usually active.
